go Page 444 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Should You Fuck Tiger Woods?
There’s a report floating around that Lindsey Vonn broke up with Tiger Woods after she found out he was cheating on her with Amanda Boyd, Jason Dufner’s ex-wife. Regardless of the story’s veracity, it does lead to a basic question: Should people still fuck Tiger Woods?...
Lionel Messi Turns Two Defenders Into Larry And Moe
Look at the image above. It appears to show two well-positioned Paraguayan defenders on the cusp of shepherding the ball away from Lionel Messi. Now, watch the video below, where Messi skips past one, nutmegs the other, and generally jukes them so hard that they crash into each other, left helpless ...
Dee Gordon's Inside-The-Parker Was The Fastest Home Run On Record
Granted, the record only goes back six seasons. But damn, Dee Gordon is fast:...
Some Thoughts On Chris Sale's Historically Dominant Run
Last night, White Sox ace Chris Sale struck out 12 Cardinals in eight innings, becoming just the second pitcher in baseball history to strike out 10 or more batters in eight consecutive starts. Here are some thoughts about that....
Blackhawks Trade Brandon Saad To Columbus
Definitely did not see this one coming. The Blackhawks have sent winger Brandon Saad—the one guy you assumed this cap-clearing summer would be all about finding the room to afford—to the Blue Jackets....
God Bless Patrick Kane, Beautiful Karaoke Moron
You should never make fun of people for singing karaoke poorly, because the whole point of karaoke is to get drunk and yell and cause ruckus. But I think it’s okay to poke fun at Chicago Blackhawks party boy Patrick Kane, who does something delightfully stupid at about the two-minute mark of this cl...
Bob Costas Is Complaining About The Internet Again
Is there anything worse than Bob Costas talking about “the ethos of the mob” and “clicks” and “ad-hominem attacks” every time he opens his mouth to answer a question about the internet? I submit that there isn’t....
Report: Phil Mickelson Connected To $2.75 Million Money Laundering Case
Phil Mickelson’s money was at the heart of a recently concluded federal money laundering case, according to ESPN’s Outside the Lines. OTL reports on the case of Gregory Silveira, who plead guilty last week to money laundering charges for moving $2.75 million through multiple bank accounts in an ille...
"An Absolute Glitterbomb": Chile Takes Lead On Long-Distance <i>Golazo</i>
Chile launched Estadio Nacional into ecstasy when Edu Vargas landed an unreal screamer to put the host side up 2-1 on Peru just minutes after Gary Medel had equalized for the Peruvians in the Copa America semifinal. As you might expect, it sent beIN announcer Ray Hudson into orgasmic screams....
Mets Rookie Steven Matz Had One Hell Of A Debut
The Mets’ Steven Matz played in his first MLB game Sunday against the Reds, and went 3 for 3 at the plate with four RBI. Steven Matz is a pitcher....
Andrea Pirlo Attends NYCFC-Red Bulls Match, Is Enjoying Himself
Sex bomb Andrea Pirlo is rumored to be signing soon to play in MLS with NYCFC, and the Italian heartthrob showed up at Yankee Stadium today to watch his new side take on their crosstown rivals. We’re not totally sure this GIF is safe for work. ...
Will Middlebrooks Injured By Stray Bat While Attempting To Catch Foul
Padres third baseman Will Middlebrooks left today’s game against the Diamondbacks in the seventh inning after his attempt to field a Cliff Pennington pop foul was interrupted by a abandoned bat in the on-deck circle....
Paraguayan Soccer Player Wins Game On PK, Uncle Dies Of Heart Attack
Paraguay put down Brazil in the Copa America last night, winning on penalties after Derlis Gonzalez equalized on a penalty in the second half and converted the deciding goal in the shootout. Reportedly, in the excitement of watching the winning shot, his 44-year-old uncle died of a heart attack. ...
MLS Gets It Together; Real Salt Lake Score Fantastic Goal
We told MLS to get it together. They did, quickly....
Bob Costas To Apologize For Epically Raw Burn On Pedro Strop
Bob Costas will apologize to Pedro Strop for launching into an inexplicable, hilarious, and just plain dirty burn on the Cubs reliever after Strop’s poor outing Friday night....
Japan Score Scruffy Goal From A Corner, Progress To World Cup Semifinal
Look, they won’t all be wondrous moves drenched with class, genius, and magic pixie dust. But a winner is a winner, and Japan finally got theirs near the very end of their quarterfinal matchup against Australia....
Looking For A Job? Apply To Be The NFL's New Director Of Investigations!
Want to aid the NFL in its quest to rid itself of the scourge that is player misconduct? Ever find yourself shaking your head at the bone-headed mistakes that ruin one of their innumerable faulty investigations? Think you can do better? Then by all means, apply here for the league’s newest position,...
Holy Shit, Bob Costas
Pedro Strop didn’t have the best performance out of the Cubs’ pen tonight, giving up a homer and then putting two more guys on base. But it apparently infuriated MLB Network’s Bob Costas, who hammered Strop with a burn so raw we can’t even endorse it:...
Pool Bear Is Getting This Summer Started Right
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but summer is here, my friend. It is officially here....
Tanzania's Goat Races Are Decadent And Depraved
Slumgoat Millionaire lost his first race at the Dar es Salaam Charity Goat Races. While the “owners” (sponsors, really) were standing in the corral at the center of the small racetrack, one of the MCs asked Slumgoat’s patron if he knew the rules....