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Bears DB Arrested For DUI While Speeding To Parent-Teacher Conference
Chicago Bears cornerback Tim Jennings was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence around noon on Wednesday. Pulled over for going 99 mph in a 65 mph zone, when asked to explain why he was going so fast, Jennings reportedly told the officer he was late for his kid's parent-teacher confer...
An Interview With Jongin Craggs, Tommy's Mom
A couple of years ago, Tommy's mom, Jongin Craggs, emailed me out of the blue. Ms. Craggs, who lives in Champaign, Illinois, where Tommy's dad works as a math professor, told me that she read all the things I wrote and asked if I could maybe get Tommy to write a little bit more often; if it weren't ...
Meet The Dunce Ex-Cop Who Fucked Up The NFL's Ray Rice Investigation
Throughout the coverage of the NFL's handling of Ray Rice, talk of the league's investigatory arm has for the most part presumed a certain level of competence. The NFL employs a number of former law enforcement agents, and has billions of dollars besides—it's got to be capable of getting any informa...
Club Disaster Or Not, Neymar, Suárez, And Messi Will Still Fuck You Up
Sure, the world might be falling down around them right now, but put Lionel Messi, Neymar, and Luis Suárez on the pitch, and they're going to wreck shit regardless. The three forwards have all gotten on the score sheet as Barcelona lead Elche 3-0 in the Copa del Rey. Here's how it happened:...
Roger Goodell Failed, So Now He's More Powerful Than Ever
Unsurprisingly, former FBI director Robert Mueller's report has absolved Roger Goodell and the NFL of any major wrongdoing or misdirection in their handling of the Ray Rice case. We always knew that was going to happen. What's really disturbing about the report is how perfectly its conclusions ali...
NFL-Backed Investigation: NFL Didn't Lie About Seeing Ray Rice Tape
Former FBI director Robert Mueller's investigation into the NFL's handling of the Ray Rice case has been released. We're still reading through it, but the report's big conclusion so far is that despite an Associated Press report claiming that the NFL had received a tape showing Ray Rice knocking o...
Introducing: The Shabazz Assist
Two years ago, Grantland's Kirk Goldsberry introduced the Kobe Assist, a new statistic that "proves that missing shots is sometimes just as valuable as making them." Goldsberry's analysis was interesting, but it left out a key component: the dunkpass. You see, Goldsberry examined what percentage o...
Hahahaha The Cavs Traded Two First-Rounders For Timofey Mozgov
OK, there are a few ways to look at this. ...
2014 Deadspin Hall Of Fame Nominee: Roger Goodell
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell showed his ass to everyone this year. The leak of surveillance footage showing Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice knocking out his then-fiancée in an elevator led to Goodell, who'd spent years carefully cultivating a reputation for square-jawed competence, stan...
StubHub Dicks Another Guy Out Of Cheap Championship Tickets
If there's one thing you can almost guarantee any time a big sports contest is coming up, it's that some version of this story will play out: Man finds astoundingly cheap tickets for upcoming big sports contest on StubHub; man pounces on shockingly good deal; StubHub realizes that the tickets were m...
How To Treat Your Vagina Before Your Next Race
If you're like me, you often wonder how exactly one cares for one's vagina the day before a race. What are potential pitfalls to avoid? What are some of the worst-case scenarios? Well, Runner's World's all-women's site Zelle is here to answer the age-old question....
Train Station Invaded By Substance That Probably Came From Aliens
The picture above, via ABC 7's Ben Bradley, depicts some shit currently going down at Union Station in Chicago....
Goddamn, Steph Curry Is Amazing
There may not be a better ticket in sports right now than the Golden State Warriors, and that has a lot to do with the fact that Steph Curry is liable to do something that will leave you slack-jawed and drooling on any given night....
Klay Thompson Throws Down Alley-Oop
We haven't even finished the first quarter yet and Warriors-Thunder is already the highlight reel-fest you'd expect when players like Curry, Westbrook, Durant, and Thompson get together on the same court for a (sort of, it's on NBA TV) nationally televised matchup. That being said, a Klay Thompson a...
Jimmy Butler Is A Bad, Bad Man
We already gushed over Jimmy Butler last week so no need to repeat it, but man is he fun to watch. Here he is throwing down a backdoor cut (down the middle of the court) alley-oop, just minutes after he absolutely stuffed James Harden to the ground on an attempted end-of-quarter buzzer beater....
The Biggest Dude In The World Just Scored Against Liverpool
They don't make 'em like Adebayo Akinfenwa too often. The man-mountain stands at five-foot-eleven, has to be pushing 200 pounds, and can reportedly bench press damn near 400 pounds. That's how you get a world's-best 97 strength rating in the FIFA games....
Oregon's New Uniforms Are Sewn Together With Lies
The uniforms that the Oregon Ducks are going to wear in the national championship are not only bad and boring, they were created by liars....
Oregon's Championship Game Uniforms Are Pretty Disappointing
The Ducks toned down their uniforms for their national championship against Ohio State, and the results are plain boring. The school colors, green and yellow, are just totally absent. Weak....
Oregon, Ohio Mayor: Name Won't Change For College Football Championship
You might have heard that the city of Oregon, Ohio will change its name for the Jan. 12 college football national championship game between the Oregon Ducks and Ohio State Buckeyes. That's not actually going to happen, according to Oregon's mayor....
Swansea Give Up Second Hilaribad Goal Of The Week, Now To Max Power
Fresh off this embarrassing performance Monday, Swansea City keepers are continuing their reign of clearance terror today in the FA Cup. This time, it's Gerhard Tremmel who can't get the ball past League Two side Tranmere Rovers midfielder Max Power. Who coaches these keepers?...