go Page 498 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tyler Seguin Let Someone Drive A Golf Ball Off His Crotch
Dallas Stars center Tyler Seguin hosted a charity golf tournament, and at one point, he put a golf ball on a tee on his crotch and let a guy take a swing at it. What more is there to say? Wait, Tyler, did it tickle?...

NFL Draft Says Bye Bye New York, Hello L.A. Or Chicago
We try really hard here to avoid being part of the NFL hype machine, but there is nothing else going on right now. So bear with us on this post. ...

This Stupid-Ass Goat Is So Fucking Dumb
Look at how dumb this fucking goat is. ...

Mario Götze Less Excited Than Usual About Being On A Boat With His Lady
I guess it's true what they say. Success can really change a man....

Happy Golf Dog Should Be Atop The Open Leaderboard
Who's a good doggy? Who? Who? Not you! Because you...are a great doggy....

That's Not How Putting Works, Ernie Els
Hi there, Ernie Els. I understand that you are successful professional golfer, so I hesitate to overstep my bounds here by telling you how to do your job. Still, I think you should know that this isn't how putting is supposed to work:...

Padres Tweet Tony Gwynn Tribute After All-Star Game
So, is this a swipe at FOX and MLB for not even mentioning Tony Gwynn during tonight's broadcast? Or just the Padres recognizing Mr. Padre at a time when baseball has the spotlight? ...

Dee Gordon And Freddie Freeman Combine For Pretty Defensive Play
Dee Gordon showed off his considerable range and Freddie Freeman showed off his considerable flexibility to retire Michael Brantley and get the National League out of the sixth inning. ...

Here Is The Worst Lede About Chicago Gun Violence. We Tried To Top It.
Cal Thomas, a syndicated columnist who is employed by Tribune Media, recently wrote about the ongoing gun violence in Chicago. This is how the article begins, complete with typo:...

The Hottest LeBron Take Comes Via The Florida GOP
The fun thing about LeBron is that he is famous enough to inspire enough different varieties of strong feeling in people that he can now mean just about whatever you want him to mean. Prodigal son. A man in full. Coward. Traitor. ...


Maradona Calls Messi's Golden Ball Win A "Marketing Plan"
Lionel Messi was awarded FIFA's Golden Ball, as best player of the World Cup, and it was sort of a cruel selection. Not only did it highlight that the world's undisputed best player became increasingly less visible as the tournament wore on, but it forced Messi to receive his trophy on the pitch, wh...

Hey, Check Out Mario Götze's Boat Boner
Hey, casual soccer fan! You're likely going to remember Mario Götze as the guy who won the 2014 World Cup for Germany, but you should know that he was famous long before he scored last night's deciding goal. That's because he once got a big ol' boner while hanging out on a boat with a lady....

Here's How Götze's World Cup-Winning Goal Sounded In Germany & Argentina
Mario Götze found net in the 113th minute to deliver Germany its fourth world cup. Above is the goal as called on German TV broadcaster Das Erste; below is the despondent call from Argentinian TV Pública. ...

Mike Aviles Makes Marvelous Throw To Gun Down Conor Gillaspie At First
Cleveland infielder Mike Aviles has only played a handful of games in left field in his career, but today's start gave him the chance to show off his arm in the second inning against the White Sox....

Thierry Henry Doesn't Give A Shit That He Just Scored A Goal
Thierry Henry popped in a goal in the 45th minute Saturday to put the New York Red Bulls up 2-1 over the Columbus Crew, but he wasn't in the mood to celebrate....

Cubs Fan Catches Braves Home Run Ball, Throws Fake Ball Back On Field
This is a funny little insight into the lunacy of sports fandom. Much like with the players, there are unwritten rules of decorum for fans and one of those rules is that you must throw an opposing team's home run back onto the field if you catch it. People will straight-up yell at you if you don't...

Every Univision ¡GOOOL! Of The World Cup, Ranked By Length
We've been fans of ESPN's excellent World Cup coverage, but for your money's worth it's tough to beat the live match broadcasts on Univision. Here's every goal scored thus far in the World Cup, stitched together into one very long ¡GOOOOOOOOOL!. Below you'll find a chart ranking every goal of the to...

Report: Isaiah Thomas To Suns In Sign-And-Trade
With LeBron's signing out of the way, the rest of the free agency dominoes are starting to fall like many predicted. ...

Here's The Official Movie Of Diego Maradona's 1986 World Cup
Diego Maradona shimmies and jukes. He drags the ball with him. The camera pans from his feet to his face, tracking him as he goes. Is he heading toward the goal or dribbling harmlessly across the field? I can't tell, and neither can the English defenders he slides by so easily. The goalkeeper is not...