go Page 694 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mark Buehrle Didn't Pitch Much Out Of The Stretch Today
Isn't it nice to have an actual sports story to cover? After the jump, we'll break down Mark Buehrle's perfect game in pictures, numbers, and ritual sacrifices....
The NFL Draft Goes After <i>Grey's Anatomy</i>'s Territory
The excruciatingly long NFL Draft will expand to three days in 2010, with the first round airing Thursday, the most-watched night of television. Roger Goodell against Meredith Grey, the lead in CSI and Liz Lemon? That's a dealbreaker, ladies. [PFT]...
Cultural Oddsmaker: What’s The Next Great Sports Media Scandal?!
Usually, mid-to-late July is the absolute worst time to be a sports fan, unless you're some baseball-loving choirboy like Leitch....
What Did Jim Parque Do Wrong Again?
Former White Sox pitcher Jim Parque has a very lengthy mea culpa in the Chicago Sun-Times today, apologizing to his teammates, family, the entire sporting world, several deities, and his barber, because he took HGH for a month in 2003....
Jay Mariotti On Erin Andrews, AutoSummarized
"Why was the Internet ... giving semi-lives to people with no lives?" thunders Mariotti, who writes for the Internet. The column goes on in this vein for 1,500 words. Let's send this through Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize function, shall we?...
The Mets Shall Inherit The Earth
Courtesy of an astute Newsday reader comes a feapic of a certain Long Island church, which, apparently, is trying to poach congregants from New York sports talk radio shows. Blasphemy!...
Alex Rodriguez Learns Painful Lesson About Lending Out Your Car
A-Rod gave the keys to his Suburban to lady friend Kate Hudson and then her lady friend promptly smashed the hell out of it. Now he'll have to throw it away and buy a new one! [Celebrity-Gossip]...
Does ESPN's "Do Not Report" Policy Make Any Sense?
Still not a peep from ESPN on Ben Roethlisberger's legal troubles—and once again no Blog Buzz on SportsCenter—so as long as Big Ben keeps his mouth shut they're standing behind their decision to not stand behind this story....
Look! It's Godzilla's Helmet!
"He was in great humor, which is always when he's the best, most likable Alex," Selena Roberts wrote in A-Rod. And that was before he turned a helmet into a wedding bouquet and himself into a desperate bachelorette....
Michael Vick's Next Magical Kingdom
Once upon a time, in a land not-so-far away, he spent 21 months in prison. Now, he might train for an NFL return at Disney's Wide World of Sports. In Disney World! Everyone's about to live happily ever after. [Sentinel]...
Goodbye, Local Media. Hello, ESPN YourTown
Remember ESPNChicago, the synergtastic "local" website built to honor the Windy City and maybe make all the city's media outlets bow down in servitude to their Bristol masters? It worked! Oh....and you're next, Dallas! (Cue "Imperial March.")...
Giant Inflatable Penis Owner Explains Herself, Giant Inflatable Penis
Many will remember this year's American Century Championship for Tony Romo's valiant efforts and Rick Rhoden's continued dominance of the tournament, but the big, bright shining star of Saturday's action was a six-foot dong peeking over Michael Jordan's shoulder....
Michael Vick Is Free!
The ankle bracelet is off, folks! Having served his debt to society—give or take a few years of probation—Michael Vick is officially a free man. As long as your definition of "free" does not include playing football professionally....
How To Get Donald Trump All Fired Up
The Donald was cruising around Trump National — the best, most stupendously fabulous course in New Jersey, of course — when someone stole his No. 13 golf cart. Doesn't he have, like, apprentices to make sure that doesn't happen? [Star-Ledger]...
Sports Psychologist Takes Full Credit For Stewart Cink
Who is really to blame for "stepping on a Hall of Famer's neck" and ruining golf forever by not laying down for Tom Watson. Not that jerk Stewart Cink. Send a note to Dr. Morris Pickens, famous sports psychologist, instead....
Well, That Was Anticlimactic
Congratulations, Stewart Cink, on your first major championship. Too bad no one cares. Do you remember who beat Jean Van de Velde in '99? All we'll remember from Turnberry is Tom Watson missing an 8-footer for the Claret Jug....
Tom Watson Still 59, Still Leading The Open Yeah, About That...
Three holes to go, and the old man is up by a stroke. Let's hope he doesn't have one before he enters the clubhouse. [PGA Leaderboard]...
Ross, You're A Heckuva Lot More Likely To Have Another Child Than Win Another Open
Ross Fisher, currently near the top at the Open, is ready to scurry off the course at any moment should his wife go into labor. "Hopefully, I can hang on for one more day, and hopefully she can." [NY Post]...
Sometimes This World Is A Horrible Place To Live
ESPN's official comment on the Erin Andrews situation is this: "Erin has been grievously wronged here. Our people and resources are in full support of her as she deals with this abhorrent act." Mine is after the jump....
Big Leaguers Just Wanna Use Gordon Beckham's Love Tonight
Everyone wants a piece of Gordon Beckham. And by everyone, I mean, of course, the throngs of Chicago women wearing his T-shirt jersey and his fellow big leaguers who are copping his swoon-worthy at-bat music....