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The Dull Phil Mickelson
We tend to agree with The Mighty MJD: We have a hard time getting too excited about Phil Mickelson winning the Masters. He falls in that place now that's difficult for sports fans to follow or get behind: Completely lacking in storyline. Mickelson for years was the talented guy who could never win...

The Closer: Bronx Cheer
Notes from a day of baseball ... • 1. Well, That's Two. It was a headline in The New York Times that really bothered us: 'Yankees Rough Up Angels' Colon.' But they were refering to Bartolo Colon, of course, who got pounded by A-Rod & Co. 10-1 yesterday, and hey, the Yankees are off! After beating ...

It's Hard Out There For A Garvey
When we were kids, there were two baseball players we were instructed to pattern ourselves after, examples of how the game provided structure and organization and produced quality, upstanding gentlemen who were beacons of Good American Values to us all. One stood for hard work, hustle and dedicati...

That Was Not As Much Fun As It Should Have Been
Phil Mickelson is your 2006 Masters winner. There was no drama on 18, there was no big finish. The 18th was just a formality. Phil Mickelson bumrushed the field, or perhaps more accurately, let the field bumrush themselves, en route to an easy green jacket....

A 10 Unlike Any Other
Tiger doesn't look like he wants to be a part of it, but we're going to have quite a finish to the Masters anyway. Phil Mickelson continues to lead by one stroke. He's at -6, with Freddie Couples one stroke behind and Jose Maria Olazabal and Vijay Singh two back....

A Ponytail Unlike Any Other
For the moment, I'm going to ignore the people who would tell you that "The Masters doesn't start until the back nine on Sunday." I've been watching for almost an hour already, and there's no way that Miguel Angel Jimenez's fucking head is bothering me this much without the tournament having start...

Masters Morning Mayhem
Golf was on at 8 a.m. this morning, which was a pretty good way to ensure that I wouldn't be watching it. But I missed some compelling action, it seems....

We Will Have Golf Today
This was supposed to be a post about golf. I suppose it still is, but I wanted to tell you that Tiger Woods was making a charge, Chad Campbell was holding steady, Rocco Mediate had started yelling "ALRIGHT, ROCCO!" everytime he made a birdie putt, and Phil Mickelson and Vijay Singh really did wres...

A Weather Forecast Unlike Any Other
They are getting in some golf today at The Masters, despite some nasty storms passing through the area. A lot of players are on the course right now, and some are making the most of the soft greens. Miguel Angel Jimenez, Jose Maria Olazabal, Tim Herron, and Jim Furyk are all 2-under-par on the day....

Opening Day At Wrigley
We received a call from a friend of ours about an hour ago, asking us to break into their email and look up some Evite information. Why? Because they were heading to a Wrigley Field Opening Day part just down the street from the old yard, and they'd lost the directions. Our friend is a Cub fan. We...

Tiger Woods Successfully Completes High Five
As we congratulate Tiger Woods for finally figuring out the correct way to slap another man's hand with his own, we take a look at the Masters, which, for all its bluster and Carlyle Group vibe, is the one golf tournament we look forward to every year, even if it's just because it reminds us that ev...

Chicago Baseball Executives Vs. Jay Mariotti (And The People Vs. Both Of Them)
Sometimes, a story comes along with absolutely no rooting interest, no good guys at all, that you end up hoping everyone will end up in a Reservoir Dogs-esque Mexcian standoff, guns aimed at each other's heads, all pulling the trigger....

Jim Nantz, King Of The WASPs
As The Masters tee off today — complete with cigarettes and littered beer cans everywhere — we cast our eyes again to Jim Nantz. After playing toadie to Billy Packer for a while — and is there a worse possible job description on earth than "Billy Packer's toadie?" — Nantz heads to Augusta, a place...

Ah, The Pageantry Of Augusta
This is John Daly teeing off during a practice round at the Masters yesterday, in a photo from The Augusta Chronicle. If you ever had any doubt as to why John Daly is popular, that doubt should now rest. Yes, yes, a tradition unlike any other....

Needling Barry, Day One
When we first heard that the Giants would open their season in San Diego, we were a little disappointed. Who's going to rag on Barry Bonds in San Diego? It's the most laid-back of all cities; it makes Indianapolis look like Baghdad outside of the Green Zone. But we were wrong. San Diego, you didn'...

You're Doing A Heckuva Job, Dusty
It's Opening Day, and that means it's time to play "What's Your Caption?"...

Baseball. Tonight.
The long 162-game journey begins tonight for the Indians and the White Sox. It will be the most heated game between the two teams since Roger Dorn trade Jack Parkman to the White Sox in Major League II....

Was Not To Be For Wie
For a while today, it looked like Michelle Wie would earn her first major victory on the LPGA Tour. But Karrie Webb and Lorena Ochoa both eagled the 18th to head into a playoff at -9, while Wie's birdie putt just singed the cupp, leaving her at -8, tied for 3rd with Ben Roethlisberger's ex-girlfri...

Four Tiny Tidbits On: The Padres
We're two days away from Opening Day (two days!), so it's time to start previewing the season. Inspired by an old feature on The Black Table, we're going team-by-team and distributing Four Things You Don't Know about them. If you have suggested oddities on your team, send them to us at tips@deadsp...

Your NL West "Preview"
You know what? This might sound kind of crazy, but we think it's possible that the NL West might not be any better than it was last year. The only way there's any team better than last year's Padres is if Los Steroido somehow stays healthy (and eligible) all season ... and even then we're kind of pu...