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Goat's Head Spook
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap More...

The Bears Are Apparently Ready For Prime Time
Chicago has five televised prime time games this upcoming season, tied with the Steelers, Giants, Cowboys and Colts for the most. Guess which six teams were completely shut out? [NFL.com]...

Enjoy A Free Veggie Burger With John Salley
Former NBA player John Salley is giving out free veggie burgers today at Chicago's Soul Vegetarian East restaurant, although I called over there and no one seems to know anything about it. [The PETA Files]...

The New Milton Bradley Is Cool, Calm And Collected
Milton Bradley says he's ready for any abuse that Cubs fans can dish out. That's because he's a new man; all that childish stuff is in the distant past. Ha ha, but anyway ......

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: "The Big One"
Who knew a book about a fishing tournament could be so damn compelling? Journalist David Kinney goes inside Martha's Vineyard's annual Striped Bass and Bluefish Derby with his book, "The Big One"....

Isiah Thomas Is Florida International's Problem Now
Florida International stinks at basketball, so I guess they figured—if we're going to stink we might as well leave a spectacular stench all over the basketball world. That's the only explanation for hiring Isiah Thomas....

Jay Cutler's Windy City Heat
Busy first week for Jay Cutler, who seems to be familiarizing himself into the Chicago nightlife scene quite nicely since his arrival....

Isiah Thomas Is Never Going Away
Rumor has it that Florida International wants to has hired organizational wunderkind Isiah Thomas to be their new head basketball coach. Unbelievable. I guess FIU doesn't have a history department. [ESPN]...

What Is Up With This ESPNChicago?
ESPN has launched a mini-site today that is devoted entirely to Chicago sports. The question is not "Why Chicago?", but rather "Why do we need a site like this at all?"...

Sergio Garcia Says Golf Is Hard!
After finishing 75 and 74 on the weekend, Garcia complained that the course is "too tricky" and not "fair" and something about mudballs in the fairway. Garcia was complaining before he even got to Augusta, he complained during the tournament and now he's complaining after, even trashing the sacred l...

Man Sues White Sox Over T-Shirt Cannon Attack
A violent menace is sweeping our nation's sports stadiums—rogue gangs of t-shirt wielding thugs firing 100% cotton bullets at innocent bystanders....

A Boob Grab Unlike Any Other
It's easy to get caught up in the emotion of Sunday at The Masters, but few fans have the determination to use that frenzy to their advantage and sneak in a boob grope at 15....

Well This Should Make Bears Fans Feel Better
Professional blog something or other Julia Allison has already kidnapped Jay Cutler on the dance floor.Your season is now over. [Twitter]...

Tiger Woods Somehow Not Winning Tiger Woods Invitational
Experts predict that Tigers Woods will use the third round of his major tournament to make a move on whatever golfers might be leading, setting himself up for a dramatic come-from-behind victory on Sunday....

Frazier, On Ali's Health Problems: 'God Judges, You Know What I'm Saying?'
As a heavyweight, Joe Frazier was as tough and awe-inspiring as they come. That's why it's hard to listen to him now; both because of the way he speaks, and what he's saying....

Don't Call It A Comeback...No Really, Don't
John Daly quit drinking (again) and got lapband surgery. All that you know is at an end. Did I mention he's at Augusta, selling his worldly possessions out of an RV? Of course he is....

Time To Get Your Chicago Pants Party Tickets
The final deadline to purchase tickets for Deadspin's Chicago Pants Party on May 23 is next Friday. If you've been procrastinating, it's time to buy. Follow the link for details and tickets. [Pants Party Details]...

Down In Front, Regis! Celebrity Fans And Why We Hate Them
It's Waxing Off, the Internet feature that was planted in the ground by God to test our faith. This week's topic: The scourge of celebrity sports fans....

A Masters Update Unlike Any Other
Chad Campbell is -5 through seven. He's tied for the lead with Shingo Katayama. Yes, it's very early. [Masters Leaderboard]...

Nothing Says Quality Like John Daly Merchandise Purchased From A Bus
John Daly may not be allowed to play in The Masters, but that doesn't mean he can't still profit. May he interest you in some slacks?...