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The Official Communist Party Quick Travel Guide To The 2008 Beijing Olympics
Drew Magary's Balls Deep column runs every Thursday afternoon. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK....

Bartman Spurns $25k Autograph Offer
Putting a quick end to the will he or won't he autograph spectacle, Steve Bartman is not going to appear at the National Sports Collectors Convention in Rosemont, Illinois. Interestingly, Bartman issued the response through his friend Frank Murtha. Meaning that Bartman himself remains hidden away i...

Alexei Ramirez Has A Magical Glove
It's not like White Sox second baseman Alexei Ramirez has gone unnoticed for his hustle and defensive prowess thus far, but come on; this is close to supernatural. Look at this play by Ramirez in the seventh against the Rangers on Wednesday; sleight of hand worthy of the Magic Castle. Wizard Cat gra...

Caleb Campbell: "I Was Left In The Dark"
On Wednesday night word broke that Caleb Campbell, 7th round draft pick out of Army for the Detroit Lions, would not be allowed to play NFL football in the 2008 season. Campbell, a 2nd Lt. who graduated from West Point on May 31 of this year, owed his ability to play in the NFL to a 2005 Army policy...

Rex Grossman or Kyle Orton? A Coin Flip Shall Decide Chicago's Quarterbacking Fate
It's only July and already Bears fans are terrified. Who's going to start at quarterback: The mediocre bearded guy or the mediocre short guy? Well, even the players themselves can't decide. So they did what any reasonable, competitive football player would do...they flipped a coin. Cue the Chicago T...

A Word On The Blacks And Mongolians Story...
The Olympics begin in August, and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see,...

Steve Bartman Offered $25k for a Single Autograph
Reclusive Cubs anti-christ Steve Bartman has incentive to come out into the light of day thanks to a $25k autograph offer from a sports collectors show. According to the Orlando Sentinel this would be the most ever paid to a living person for a single autograph. What exactly does Bartman need to do...

Beyond Beijing: Your 2008 Olympic Co-Hosts
The Olympics begin in August, and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see,...

"Golf Rage" Aftermath Leaves One Man In Hospital, One In Jail, And One Getting Mouthy
Just think, this happened on a Seattle golf course. There's probably not a safer place to be in America. Slow play was the initial instigator of the six iron assault by Nicholas Shampine, 33. We quicklinked this story last week but new details have emerged today thanks to the intrepid reporting of S...

Chris Evert And Greg Norman Are Just Two Old Horndogs Lovin' Life
Yesterday's British Open didn't have the storybook ending Greg Norman probably would've hoped for, but two people that were probably thrilled Norman faltered in the final round yesterday were his ex-wife and current wife Chris Evert's ex-husband. Although rumors about a passionate affair between the...

In The End, Joey Harrington's Distant Cousin Triumphs
All weekend the world was talking about Greg Norman's resurgence, briefly forgetting what he normally does on Sunday. (Fortunately, he reminded us almost immediately.) Then for about 10 minutes the hot golfer was Britain's Ian Poulter. Even for a split second, Jim Furyk's finish of +10 might have be...

There's Something Salvageable In Rick Reilly's Craft
"Bangers, pasties, and good stout beer / roughs so high you could lose Mike Weir" made me giggle because the thought of a Canadian being devoured by a sentient patch of grass just struck me the right way. "Rain and cold and gusts that stagger / bunkers with lips as big as Mick Jagger's" is also quit...

It's Beginning To Look Like Her Career Is A Disappointment
Before Greg Norman urinates away his chances of winning the British Open, let's give him some perspective. At least he signed his third round scorecard. The same can't be said of Michelle Wie at the LGPA tournament....

The Normans Have Invaded England Yet Again
Not since 1066 has England been this shocked of a Norman ruling their empire. Greg Norman, winner of the '86 and '93 Opens, is the clubhouse leader after 54 holes with 2-over-par. He was a half-inch from finishing the 18th hole with a chip-in and another few inches from an eagle on 17. A couple more...

Rick Reilly Is Stealing My Material
Rick Reilly uses the celebrity washroom....

Greg Norman Owns the British Open...Your Mom's Heart
Right now Norman's the leader at even par. Of course in 1986 Greg Norman won the "Saturday Slam" by leading all four major tournaments with one day to play. He only managed to win the British Open. He's also the only golfer to have lost a playoff at all four majors. I guess what I'm saying is, Greg ...

Essay Contest: Win a Date With LPGA Golfer Natalie Gulbis
Tme to sharpen those #2 pencils. The subject of the essay contest is "Who's Behind Your Success?" To be fair the contest actually specifies that you win a day with Natalie Gulbis and not a date. But that day is in Las Vegas. So have at it. Essays must be in by midnight on August 4. I suggest this op...

British Open co-leader? Rocco F'in Mediate
Fresh off his one-stroke 18 hole playoff loss to Tiger, the man, the myth, the legend, Rocco Mediate clocked in his first round at -1. So if you had a dream that man boobs were going to own the British Open and you rushed to Vegas to lay your money on Phil, you picked the wrong tits....

Mike Ditka's Balance Is Not What It Used To Be
I've never been to a celebrity roast for anyone but I like to think this happens every time. Paul Hornung takes the stage and welcomes the roastee to the rostrum, roastee is wasted, knocks over his own table when standing, and then crumbles to the ground when shoved by Hornung. See Mr. Bear's finest...

I Hereby Demand That This Be Added To The Olympics
Where else but on Japanese television would one find something called Human Trebuchet; in which a person is flung by a large, wooden contraption into a distant net? And it looks pretty easy to build ... and suddenly, you are never late for an appointment again....