go Page 748 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

'Dear Eli' ... Six NFL Quarterbacks We Just Can't Stand
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...

Kyle Orton Solemnly Vows To Never Be Drunk On Camera Again
That's his promise. In his new role as the Bears starting quarterback, Orton has sworn that he's all business and that his hard-partying days of internet lore are long behind him. He's a new man — a married man — who won't give his teammates a reason to question his leadership abilities this time ar...

The Dickpire Strikes Back: The Return Of Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," released October 27th and featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. Ev...

Two Sports Medicine Experts Agree: Monta Is Totally Lying
"I'm going to improve every part of my game. That's what I do. That's why I play basketball...to improve and to become the best player [who] ever touched a basketball." Monta Ellis said that just over a month ago, right after he received a six-year, $66 million contract extension from the Golden Sta...

J. Jonah Jameson Is Not Amused
Eat your heart out, T.O. This young man is Arland Bruce III, speedy receiver for the Toronto Argonauts, who play a strange variation of the game of football which includes 16 players per side, among them horses, elves and hobbits. Also the ball is made entirely of bacon. But another thing that makes...

No Way Will The Cubs Blow It This Time ... Uh Oh
Time to worry: When your team has lost four straight at home during the stretch run of the division race. Time to really worry: When your manager says "If he can pitch, he'll pitch. If he can't, we'll put Sean Marshall in the rotation." Those words of wisdom were spoken by Lou Piniella, after Carlos...

A Little Olympics Snafu Down In The Control Room. Push The Button, Frank
One of my favorite Mystery Science Theater 3000 lines came during the movie City on Fire, when, as a woman is gong into labor, Crow T. Robot yells: "Get a catcher's mitt!" It's hard to believe that it's been eight years since MST3K was canceled on the SciFi channel; but for about four hours during t...

The Beijing Bureau Says Goodbye
The Olympics have ended, yet our three young lads who dutifully covered them for Deadspin for the past month are still there. They've requested a farewell post. Here it is. Things are pretty quiet here at the Bureau now that the Olympics have (mercifully) ended. Media organizations around the world ...

Cops Tell Different Tale About Fan Who Was Ejected Over "God Bless America"
The above video is of Yankee Stadium God-dismissing, anti-American Brad Campeau Laurion who enlightened us (and, seemingly, hundreds of other media outlets) about being forcibly escorted out of Yankee Stadium Tuesday night after he tried to go to the bathroom during the traditional 7th-inning rendi...

Mitch "Wild Thing" Williams Ringing The NASDAQ Opening Bell Tomorrow
This is the most incongruous pairing of sports and the financial markets since Lenny Dykstra first emailed Jim Cramer. How did this happen? What in the world has the Wild Thing been up to since his baseball career ended? He started his own Wild Thing Southpaw Salsa. Well, of course he did. Mitch Wi...

Ozzie Guillen Bids Farewell To His Personal Lord Voldemort
Reaction to Jay Mariotti's resignation from the Chicago Sun-Times continues to pour in — there hasn't been this much freewheeling glee since the announcement of the end of World War II — and of course Ozzie Guillen is leading the hurrahs. While admitting that his own tenure in Chicago most assuredly...

The Internet Cautions Mr. Mariotti Not To Let The Door Hit Him In The Butt On The Way Out
So Jay Mariotti resigned from the Chicago Sun-Times on Tuesday night, prompting a flurry of reaction around the webtubes, a sampling of which we show you here. Most of it's anti-Jay, as you might guess; even this guy refuses to defend him. Mariotti; the only man Lassie ever refused to save from a we...

So, Yankee Stadium Takes This No Moving During "God Bless America"-Thing Rather Seriously
Remember a little more than a year ago when George Steinbrenner, inflated with patriotic fervor, imposed a laughable rule that instructed security officials to ban anyone from "excessive movement" during the 7th inning rendition of "God Bless America." Granted, most New Yorkers seemingly abide by it...

Through The Looking Glass With Nine-Year-Old Jericho Scott
The parents of Jericho Scott, the nine-year-old New Haven, Conn. pitcher who was banned from pitching because he is too good, are officially suing the youth league that is disbanding his team. In response, the league held a press conference to tell their side of the story, and a huge mob of reporter...

Jay Mariotti: Quits Chicago Sun-Times Before Struggling Newspaper Business "Takes Him Down With It"
Wow. Based on the enormous amount of emails flooding Deadspin's inbox, you would've thought that there was an assassination of a beloved sports figure or a towering inferno at Yankee Stadium. Nope. The reason for the deluge was because Jay Mariotti, after 17 years of vituperative hackdom, has decide...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after just another typical Deadspin pants party ... • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Pittsburgh (7 p.m., ET). Not mentioned: Barack Obama also prefers the Pirates to the Cubs. [WGN] • Tennis: U.S. Open, men's and women's first round, at New York (7 p.m., ET). If sitting in a parked car outside o...

LPGA To Members: Be More American, Please
A couple of years ago in Philadelphia, a national controversy erupted when Geno's steak owner Joey Vento posted a sign on the front of his order window that said "This Is America: When Ordering Speak English." Joey became somewhat of a hero to many and a despised xenophobe to some civil liberties gr...

Cubs Or White Sox? Obama Invites North Side Scorn
As you saw in our morning video pancake breakfast, ESPN's Stuart Scott figured that the best way to get to know Barack Obama was to play him in a game of one-on-one (hard foul, Obama takes an elbow to the head! Now they're brawling! ...). Scott then sat down with the Democratic Presidential nominee ...

The Accredited Leave, Sun Still Shines (Sort Of)
The Olympics have mercifully ended and they were in China. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see, Olympics related and otherwise. They are winding down their coverage, obviously. The day after...

Craig Robinson Introduces Michelle Obama: Pac-10 Represent
Aquatic dam-building mammals everywhere were glued to their sets on Monday as Oregon State basketball coach Craig Robinson spoke at the Democratic National Convention, introducing his younger sister Michelle Obama. Fairly unremarkable as introductions go, although it did include possibly the first-e...