go Page 758 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Not Safe At Home, But, Please, Don't Give Us Instant Replay
We're still all a-twitter about that amazing Rockies win over the Padres last night; it's rather difficult to be more dramatic than a three-run comeback in the bottom of the 13th inning with the whole season on the line. Oh, and there's controversy too!...
He Didn't Touch The Plate, But Hey: Thus, It Goes
We are not sure if that was a home run in the early innings or not — we think it probably was — but we know that he was not safe at home plate. At a certain level, we can't help but think it was a back-up-I-don't-want-any-trouble call from the home plate umpire, Tim McClellan. He knew the runner did...
Rockies-Padres, For A Trip To Philadelphia!
It is not often the eyes of baseball fans are focused on Coors Field in Colorado, but in about 20 minutes, that's exactly where they'll be. We couldn't be more excited....
Your Full Klingons-Furries Bowling Report
You might remember last week, when we told you about the glories of the Furries Vs. Klingons bowling match in Atlanta. Well, someone showed up and took a bunch of pictures. Heck, admission was only 10 bucks....
Roger Goodell Doesn't Want You To Have Any Influence
One of the great things about going to an NFL game in person is that, perhaps more than any other sport, you really can affect the game. Not just through intimidation, but in a literal sense; if the other team can't hear the signals because you and 80,000 other maniacs are screaming your heads off, ...
Where My Team Stands: Chicago Cubs
If we've learned anything about Octobers the last few years, it's that the month tests, stretches and hones every aspect of loyalty fandom....
What To Do After Your Season Is Ruined
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....
Rocky Mountain High (In Colorado)
As Tuco said when he got the drop on Clint Eastwood in The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, "There are two kinds of spurs, my friend. Those that come in by the door [crosses himself], and those that come in by the window." The Rockies came in the latter way, beating the Diamondbacks 4-3 on Sunday to forc...
Phillies Just Sank Mets' Jengajam
As most of you have already seen, Tom Glavine's outing today didn't last too long — maybe he was double parked? — as the Florida Marlins lit up Mr. 300 with seven runs in the first inning en-route to an 8-1 win. With that, they needed Philadelphia to lose and force a tie. They've been counting on Ph...
Congratulations, Chicago Prepubescent Bears
What happens when Lou Piniella has nothing else to yell about? Does he grumble that the champagne isn't Korbel? If it is Korbel, does he kvetch that it's not another brand name bubbly? Does he still find some way to throw his hat and choke a child? We may never know the answer, because we're too laz...
Your National League Clusterphooey
All due respect to the playoffs next week, but we can't fathom a much more exciting turkeyshoot than the National League this weekend. We're three days away from the end of the season, and not a single team has clinched, with seven still in the chase. It's insane....
Show 'Em Your O-Face, Brian
We hope you're excited, Bears fans; as The Sports Hernia points out, You now have Bill Lumbergh as your starting quarterback. Yeah ... we're gonna go ahead and have you play on New Years Eve this year, Rex ......
Of Course; Electric Skates! We'd Be Idiots Not To Try Them!
Introducing, the Therma Blade! Battery-warmed skates that melt the ice to provide more speed. Wayne Gretzky endorses them, so that's something, right? However the first thing that caught my eye about this item — and it may be a telling metaphor — is that the bottom half of the above photo distinctly...
The Norv Turner Hall Of Horrors
We hate to harp on this whole Norv Turner thing — really! — but when we were looking for a picture to go with MJD's Smorgasbord column this week, we knew we wouldn't have to search long to find an anguished photo of Norv. We think it was already on every other site anyway....
R.I.P. Bill Wirtz
They say that no one on their deathbed ever says, "I wish I would have worked more" — other than Jack Donaghy, anyway — but one wonders if, ultimately, former Blackhawks owner Bill Wirtz, who died this morning at the age of 77, would have secretly smiled to learn that the first line in his obit invo...
Looking Fate In The Eye And Scoffing
A Cubs fan sent this picture to us this morning: It's the Cubs World Series tickets, for Games 3 and 4. It's September 26. The Cubs' magic number remains four. And look: Cubs World Series tickets. Their existence mocks the natural order of the universe. And just looking at them is probably making m...
Every Day Is Father's Day For Prince Fielder
If neither the awesome might of the robotic 12-person beer bong nor the motivational power of free rectal exams are enough to help the Brewers catch the Cubs in the NL Central, then perhaps Prince Fielder's red-hot animosity toward his father is. Fielder The Younger hit home runs No. 49 and 50 on Tu...
It's Furries Vs. Klingons For All The (Lost) Marbles
Man, oh man, how we wish we were in Atlanta this weekend. It's the Furries vs. Klingons bowl-off. If there's anybody out that way who wants to pop by and let us know how this goes, consider yourself officially encouraged. We only wish Bob Uecker were around for it; Furry conventions are never the s...
You're Responsible For The Death Of Tradition
We have not played golf in five years; we pretty much only play at bachelor parties, which is why people always make fun of us at bachelor parties. (This is not the only reason.) But when we do play, we're Charles Bronson in The Great Escape: We're digging tunnels....