go Page 758 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
No Child Left Behind On The Stationary Bike
The great thing about growing old in the 21st century; no worries about ordering children to get off your lawn. That's because no self-respecting kid these days would be caught dead playing outside; it's too cold/humid, there's smog, Michael Jackson is roaming free, and as we know, the outdoors are ...
Ryder Cup Has A Funny Definition Of The Word 'Volunteer'
So Ryder Cup officials were sitting around one day wondering, "Hey, how can we get people to work for us at our tournament, and have them pay us to do it?" Amazingly, they figured out a way. Cash-strapped golf fanatics who want to circumvent normal ticket prices — which can run around $1,000 — can p...
All Of The Lateral Flys In The World Could Not Make Ed Hochuli Feel Better Right Now
After Sunday's spastic whistle-blowing by big-armed referee Ed Hochuli cost the San Diego Chargers a victory in their shootout against Denver, the NFL has acted swiftly and strongly, downgrading the 19-year veteran for his error, which could impact his playoff game status and possibly his career. Th...
Mike Greenberg's Intelligence Is Compromised By Mike Golic's Chronic Dumb Jockyness
Mike Greenberg, the well-manicured, impish half of "Mike And Mike In The Morning" was interviewed by Dan Levy on his OnTheDL show and was asked if the show is"dumbed down" to cater to the average sports fan. Greenberg would never undermine or insult his audience like that, but he did take his usual ...
Bob Griese Sets A New Standard for Announcing Objectivity By Waving Purdue Flag During "Shout"
ESPN/ABC assigned Bob Griese, a Purdue alum, to call the Purdue-Oregon game this weekend. On Friday we posted that Erin Andrews felt the need to defend her objectivity after the Florida-Miami game. Well, it should be interesting to see what the response is from Bob Griese after he took a Purdue fla...
Cubs Leave The Mark Of The Z
What they're saying, blog-wise, about Carlos Zambrano's no-hitter vs. the Astros on Sunday ... • The Most Interesting Man In The World On Hits. No. With the city in ruins, their billionaire idiot owner was finally convinced to move the games somewhere else. But with that same hurricane dumping rain ...
When The Whistle Blows
Pity the poor secretary who trudges in to work this morning at the law offices of Jones, Skelton & Hochuli, P.L.C. in Phoenix. Being crushed by an avalanche of fax paper when you open the door is no way to die. Chargers fans spent Sunday evening posting Ed Houchli's work email and phone number all a...
Carlos Zambrano Mows Your Hitters Down
A game that was merely a whisper this morning has turned into a primal scream from the massive Cubs ace, Carlos Zambrano. Awash in a sea of Cubs blue at Miller Park in Milwaukee, Zambrano roared back tonight from a forced vacation due to rotator cuff soreness and an August well under his best to sec...
Ike Wreaks Havoc With Baseball Playoff Races, Scheduling
The NFL isn’t the only league effected by that bastard Ike as the Astros and Major League Baseball have agreed to move two of Houston’s canceled home games that were scheduled against the Cubs this weekend to a “neutral” site in Milwaukee. Eddie Wade’s Astros have been on fire over the past three we...
Mad Physicist Analyzes Effects of Usain Bolt's Olympic Showboating, Carl Lewis Thinks It's Juicy
Usain Bolt is the fastest man in the world. He made the competition look silly during the 100-meter finals in Beijing and cruised so easily to victory that he was celebrating before the race was even over. Wondering how sick the speedy Jamaican's time could have been had he given it 100 percent thr...
Jason Collins And The Golf Cart Of Doom
At least Timberwolves fans have great memories from the 2007-2008 season when their all-time greatest player won an NBA Championship in his first season with another team. Now their center can't avoid injury while driving around a golf course. Per the Minneapolis Star-Tribune: "Collins was injured ...
I Don't Care What They Say I Can't Stay In A World Without Tom ... Or Can I?
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...
Morning Blogdome: Take A Seat, Cubes
• He Feels So Used ... Mark Cuban is reportedly out of the bidding to purchase the Chicago Cubs, with Tom Ricketts remaining as the leading contender, according to Chi-ball Sports. "It is a believed by these sources that Zell has used Cuban all along to increase the bidding. The orchestration could ...
Mariotti To Tribune Apparently Just A Matter Of When, Not If
Get ready Chicagoland, your Jay is back. Jay Mariotti to the Chicago Tribune! Let those words luxuriate on your tongue for a moment. At least that's the word according to two of our sources, one of whom is quite close to the situation. Tribune higher-ups — and by that I mean higher than the editoria...
Greg Oden: Baller, Obama Supporter, Crooner
Oden On The Mic [Rise With Us] Greg Oden: quality baller, terrible singer [Hard For The Yard]...
Your American League Video Roundup; Now With More Squirrel
First of all, kudos to Cleveland broadcasters Matt Underwood and Rick Manning for not resorting to Willy Wonka references as this squirrel invades Jacobs Field in the ninth inning of the White Sox-Indians game last week. The Indians had the infield shift on and the squirrel obviously felt that third...
Why Your Team Won't Make The Playoffs: National League
East. • 1. New York Mets. Record: 81-63. Magic number: 16. Why they're doomed: Bullpen woes; chiefly Billy Wagner, who is currently planning a comeback in time to play in the 2012 Olympics. Upcoming: They don't play the Phillies again. So there's that. Ray of hope: Carlos Delgado has four multihomer...
Shawne Merriman Decides Playing With A Mangled Knee Might Not Be The Best Idea For A Long Career
“It felt good,” linebacker Shawne Merriman said of his left knee. “But with that adrenaline going, you never really know. Over the next couple of days, I'll assess how I feel. As of right now, I'm getting ready for Game 2.” That's what Shawne Merriman said Sunday, after the Chargers lost to the Caro...
Those Pesky Mariotti-To-Tribune Rumors Will Not Dissipate
Rumors continue to flutter over Chicago this afternoon concerning sensitive Around the Horn talking head Jay Mariotti and his possible move to the Chicago Tribune. A couple of sources close to the situation have emailed me and said that the Trib's editorial staff are taking the rumors seriously, and...
Sunday Night Football: Bears-Colts
It's the second to last game of the first week of the season, of which there will be only two more this decade. It all takes place in venerable Lucas Oil Stadium. How effective will the Bears passing game be? Will we find out what a bursa sac is? How would John Madden solve the dispute between Russi...