go Page 793 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Drunk Fat Dudes With Guns
We'll admit: We've been behind on this whole Chicago Bears fighting each other at a shooting range story. We're not sure why: It just kind of fell in that strange corner of the couch where we're always losing the remote. But let's get you up to speed....

Orton's Surprisingly Healthy Attitude
We have a hard time making it through Sports Illustrated anymore, so we missed this quote from your friend and ours Kyle Orton, whose pictures of drunken carousing in Iowa City earlier this year were first seen on Deadspin....

Boy Meets Goat Meets Trampoline
Sure, we know what you're thinking: Another story about a goat and a trampoline. But this one is different — the goats (two, actually) are pets of a 12-year-old boy in Miami Township, Ohio, who has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. The county is trying to evict the animals due to a zoning ...

NFL Roundup: Kicking T.O.
• We love pictures like this. Everyone, honestly, should have a kicker of their own to hug and cuddle. • We're not going to get too into this — because, of course, we're going to do our own whole post on the matter later today — but ESPN's coverage of Terrell Owens is bordering on stalking. ESPN's...

Michael Jordan's Sudden Inability To Speak
We have such huge blog crushes on the maniacs at Wizznutzz that it's somewhat embarassing to us and to our family. We love it muchly when they rip on Michael Jordan, like they did in this maddeningly brilliant post, but we've just discovered, via Mr. Irrelevant, their best find yet....

Dwight Gooden Receives Tiny Wrist Tap
A Deadspin friend who was there gives us a heads-up that Dwight Gooden was just "sentenced" to three years probation for his whole evading arrest/drunk driving/reckless driving incident from a few months ago. He will also "have to" do 100 hours of community service of speaking to schools and Littl...

Blogdom's Best: San Diego Chargers
It might not — yet — have the online fanaticism and cachet of baseball, but the NFL and its fans are starting to catch up in the world of team-devoted blogs. To this end, Deadspin salutes these modem-addled souls and proudly presents Blogdom's Best, given to the most outstanding blog for each NFL ...

Tracking Jay Mariotti's Herks And Jerks
One of our favorite things about the city of Chicago is that it still has two big, brassy, loud newspapers who love to snipe at each other. (And they're even just down the street from one another.) In one of those columns that make our lives worthwhile and meaningful, Chicago Tribune metro columni...

White Sox Fans Cheer Phantom Series
Would it be fair to call this year's World Series the "Quite Frankly" of postseason series? The just-complete White Sox whitewashing of the Astros, turns out, was the worst-rating Series of all time, just beating out the Angels-Giants Series of 2002, a Series that had the advantage of going seven ...

Well, You'll Have To Wear Those Short Pants, First Off
In one of those stories you couldn't make up even if you were trying really, really hard, famed British Open choker Jean Van De Velde has announced he intends to try to qualify for the Women's British Open next year to protest the decision to allow women to qualify for the men's event....

Your World Champion Chicago White Sox
Well, huge congratulations to the Chicago White Sox, winners of the World Series, a sentence that makes us feel crazy just to type it. People — including a few people already on our comment boards — may say that the White Sox caught all the breaks and only won close games, including last night, bu...

Can The White Sox Become All-Time Greats?
Well, as Fear And Faith In Flushing sadly put it yesterday, we've reached that depressing point when we realize the baseball season is almost over. The White Sox could win their first World Series since before the Red Sox began all their suffering, and the Astros, as pretty much headline writer in...

Astros Are Texas Toast
News And Notes From A Crazy, Crazy Game • You know what would have been kind of funny? If Astros manager Phil Garner, just a split second after throwing that chair, realized that Craig Biggio's wife had been standing right behind him. "God-DAMN it ... oh. Uh, sorry, Patty." • Does that home run p...

Previewing The Inevitable Umpiring Fiascos
As mentioned regularly here, we're not that much into gambling, mainly because we find watching sports stressful enough without our parents' rent check riding on it, but thankfully our pals at Oddjack has a stronger taste for vice than we do. And he has unearthed a useful tidbit today, one we've a...

Sky Closing In On Astros
For the first time this postseason, the roof at Enron Field/Dick Cheney Field/Minute Maid Park will be open this evening, and that has just about everyone but the White Sox unhappy. In the other postseason games, the roof was closed, and it made for a deafening atmosphere that greatly benefited th...

That Taste? It's Veggie Deep Dish
In the best response we've seen yet to FOX broadcaster Tim McCarver's ultimate foot-in-mouth moment last evening, the mad, depraved geniuses at Yard Work put on their miner's helmets to figure out what, exactly, that taste was in Brad Lidge's mouth that McCarver declared "not there."...

World Series Roundup: McCarver's Buckner Moment
We don't mean to shrink last night's Amazing Scott Podsednik Moment into a moment of media criticism, but you're all going to be talking about it this morning, so we might as well lead off with it. Right before — like, a split-second before — Podsednik homered off Astros closer Brad Lidge, Fox bro...

World Series Pants Party: White Sox vs. Astros
Well, someone's going to end a whole lot of frustration in the next week and a half, so even if the folks at FOX probably aren't that happy, the rest of us should have a grand time in the White Sox-Astros World Series. This is one of those great World Series where you can kind of sense that fans o...

Comment Invites Are Coming, Worry Not!
Brief note from the home office: If you haven't received your comment invites yet and are offended, don't worry, they're on their way. We just ran low. We make Oddjack swelter in tiny hallway by the boiler room, slaving over a hot stove to produce these invites for you, so he's grinding away on pr...

Great Weekend For Houston's Foot Fetishists
Nothing more classy than Texans, we tell you. As a show of solidarity with the Astros as they prepare for Game 1 of the World Series tomorrow evening, Houston mayor Bill White is encouraging all local residents to go sockless for Games 1 and 2, calling it a "No Socks Weekend."...