WooHoo! We Have A Big Gold Cup!

On the strength of a ridiculously good volley off the foot of someone named Benny Feilhaber, the United States men's soccer team continued their ownership of Mexico today, winning 2-1 and bringing home the CONCACAF Gold Cup.

So we get a big gold cup, and we get to fill it with any damn thing we want to. Landon Donovan's wine coolers are going to taste particularly fruity tonight, being sipped out of our special new cup.

Donovan was spectacular through the whole tournament, and scored again today against Mexico. And with the win, not only we get the big up made of gold, but we get to play in the 2009 FIFA Confederations Cup, which is more prestigious and has a better field, so we'll probably get killed.

But that's okay, it still feels good to beat Mexico. I don't think there are any sorts left where they can beat us, unless you could bullfighting as a sport. Not a lot of great American bullfighters out there. Pacman Jones and Tank Johnson should definitely attempt to master it in their newfound free time.

USA wins Gold Cup final [Soccerway]