god Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Un-Fucking-Real
He was finished. He was disgraced, hobbled, and eaten alive by the ravages of both fame and time. His story was over; it was simply a matter how clumsily it would end and how long it would take for that end to finally arrive....
Is Lionel Messi The One True God? An Expert Weighs In
The true identity of God has been a subject of much fascination and debate since the beginning of time. The Christian Bible contends that Jesus Christ is God. Old Dirty Bastard believed it was The Black Man. Others say God is actually Argentine soccer star Lionel Messi. Pope Francis, a man intimatel...
Anthony Davis Latest To Exhibit Symptoms Of Shammgod Madness
Here’s the freshest from this NBA season’s bumper crop of Shammgod crossovers: this damn Anthony Davis, ensuring that the truly enormous are represented, too. This just isn’t right:...
De'Aaron Fox Gets In On The NBA's Shammgod Epidemic
The Shammgod is everywhere, and not always where you’d expect it, either. First there was Russell Westbrook hitting a clean Shammgod in the clutch, then instantly re-enacting it. Then there was Omri Casspi shuffling through a dad-like rendition, though he seemed to tweak something and went on to mis...
LeBron, It Is Time To Go Full Kratos
Look, there’s no need to belabor the point here. I have great respect for your basketball mind and your body of work. You just reeled off a 44-10-9 in fucking Year 16. But it really doesn’t need to be this way. Just hear me out on this....
Omri Casspi Put His Own Twist On The Shammgod
Sure, it was fairly dad-like in the execution, and yes, he seemed to tweak something in his right leg, but this is undoubtedly Omri Casspi dropping Josh Jackson with what we’ll call the Shammg-d crossover in the first quarter of Grizzlies-Suns last night....
More Basketball Players Should Reenact Their Own Cool Moves<em></em>
What’s better than hitting the Shammgod, the coolest move in basketball? Providing an immediate historical reenactment, just in case anybody missed it. Russell Westbrook, thank you for your service....
Russian Soccer Fans Injured By Terrifying Escalator Malfunction
A warning: If you are going to find yourself on a crowded escalator or staircase at some point today and are prone to fits of anxiety, you should probably not watch this video from a metro station in Rome....
There’s Gonna Be A Chicago Deadcast Party And You’re All Invited<em></em>
CHICAGO! Chi-Town! Chicagoland! The Windy City! The Second City! Mrs. O’Leary’s Fire Pit! Wrigleyville! Caponetown! Murder Capital Of The Conservative Imagination! The Big Witch’s Tit! Guess what, Chicago: We’re coming to YOU....
The Results Of Taking A Fastball To The Nuts Are As Horrifying As You Can Imagine
Today’s column is about Yadier Molina’s exploded nuts....
Trump Unable To Remember Words To "God Bless America" At Performance Commissioned To Prove His Patriotism
Donald Trump’s hastily arranged replacement for the Super Bowl champion Eagles’ White House visit featured the president making a very brief appearance to talk about how great the economy is and, then, stand awkwardly while mouthing maybe half the words to “God Bless America” like a Yankees fan in r...
<i>God Of War</i> Makes Its Violence Matter
Video games are serious now. It’s no longer enough for AAA video games to have sleek graphics, hours upon hours of playable content, and innovative game mechanics. They also need top-notch voice acting, cinematic cutscenes featuring real actors performing in motion-capture suits, and a compelling st...
Soccer Player Tries To Beat His Manager's Ass For Subbing Him Out Of Game
We’ve all seen players stomp off the pitch in barely suppressed anger after their manager has subbed them out of a game. A far less common sight is a player communicating his post-subbing displeasure by walking off the pitch and straight over to the coach and attempting to kick his ass:...
"I Like The Whimpering": Deadspin Editors Mock Innocent Child Cheering For Duke
On Sunday, Duke lost to No. 1 seed Kansas. Depending on your loyalties—more precisely, depending on if you’re one of the North Carolinians that overpaid for your undergraduate education or one of the Northeastern private schoolers that couldn’t make the cut at Yale—you took this one of two ways....
Chairlift Becomes Possessed By Satan, Wigs The Fuck Out<em></em>
If you’ve ever been skiing, you know that falling off the chairlift is everyone’s worst nightmare. Ah, but what if I told you there’s a whole other KIND of worst chairlift nightmare, one in which the chairlift cries out FUCK THIS, shifts into Hard Reverse, and begins depositing skiers onto the bott...
Look At This Stupid Baby<em></em>
Here we have President Diaper, a fussy young infant who rarely sleeps through the night uninterrupted—and is known to be quite a handful during the daytime as well!—forced to listen for an agonizing 58 seconds as the governor of Washington state explains why arming teachers is a bad idea....
HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT REALLY HAPPENED<em></em>
I scared the shit out of my kids. They had already been subjected to three hours of me clapping and yelling and screaming at the TV, bearing witness to an utterly deranged side of their father that they almost certainly would have preferred to never learn about. I sat. I stood. I paced. No position ...
Could Santa Claus Defeat Godzilla?<em></em>
I got more Star Wars takes before we get into your letters. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna spoil anything, but I watched The Force Awakens a couple times after seeing the new movie and the difference in dialogue is night and day, man. Everyone in TFA had better lines than they do in The Last Jedi. Take ...
Look At God
It’s a testament to Roger Federer’s season that he’s been on the TV so many Friday afternoons, and that so few of the matches have been remotely competitive. Fed just finished up a tense one right now against Adrian Mannarino at Basel, and he had a sloppy few games—lots of shanked balls hurtling in...
Look At This Fucking Disaster<em></em>
I know you are long since numb to it, and I know every day is worse than the last, but I’d like you to remember just how fucking embarrassing yesterday, October 3, 2017, was for humanity. Behold our gnome-handed buffoon of a president, wearing his finest emergency golf windbreaker, jump-shooting pap...