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Gator Mercifully Chews Idiot's Arm Instead Of Totally Eating Him [Update]
Update (3:25 p.m.): This guy is a scientist, not a golfer. The original post is below....

LPGA Tour Trophy Does Not Survive Being FedExed
Three weeks ago, Anna Nordqvist won the ShopRite LPGA Classic. She was very excited! It was her fifth win in her seventh year on tour, and it came with her mother in attendance—on Mother’s Day in their native Sweden. “I’m just speechless right now,” Nordqvist said. “I fought hard today and can’t bel...

Attempted Happy Gilmore Shot Goes Horribly Wrong
Reader John—who filmed the video—sends in this sic’d explanation:...

Tell Us Your Pettiest Golf Club Stories
Earlier today, we ran an excerpt from author Shane Ryan’s new golf book. It was about the unrelenting pettiness of Augusta National Golf Club, from which even squirrels and birds can be banished for getting out of line. That post inspired commenter Clue Heywood to tell us a story about Randy Johnson...

How Augusta National Became Golf's North Korea
The following is excerpted from Slaying the Tiger: A Year Inside the Ropes on the New PGA Tour....

Justin Rose Bunker Shank Drills Spectator In The Head
Justin Rose was co-leading today’s Memorial at Muirfield Village when, on the 18th, his bunker shot went awry and brained a spectator whose reflexes or attention span weren’t enough to avoid it....

Jordan Spieth Wins Masters With Record-Setting Performance
21-year-old Jordan Spieth smashed Masters tournament records en route to his first major championship, shooting a 70 on the final day to finish 18 under par for the tournament. Spieth is only the fifth competitor to ever lead the Masters wire-to-wire....

Tiger Woods Says He Had To Pop A Bone Back Into His Wrist Mid-Round
Tiger Woods’s post-tournament interview on CBS featured one surprising revelation: that the four-time Masters champ dislocated his wrist after catching his club on a root early in the day, leading to “a bone popping out” but that “I put it back in.” ...

Mickelson Birdies 16 With Megaputt
How much less enjoyable would it be to watch this clip of Phil Mickelson going to 12-under for the Masters and drawing even closer to tournament leader Jordan Spieth without the presence of CBS’s Verne Lundquist? Without Verne, it’s just a girthy man pumping his fists in the air....

Cursin' Tiger Woods Strikes Again
Tiger Woods has actually been playing pretty decently at this year's Masters, but a rotten tee shot on today's par-5 13th left him dropping the old reliable "oh my fucking God" again. We'd say the same thing if, you know, we just hurled a club like that....

Henrik Stenson Goes Full Bo Jackson, Breaks Club Over His Knee
Henrik Stenson carded a six at Augusta National’s 15th during today’s second round of the Masters, thanks to a series of unfortunate events that included ricocheting a shot off the trunk of a tree. It so infuriated the Swede that he took his rage out on the responsible club....

"No, Tiger, Dumbass," Says Dumbass Golfer Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods hit a bad golf shot at Augusta today, and then he said “dumbass” on TV. ...

Tight Putt, Danny Willett
Englishman Danny Willett had an opportunity to earn an eagle on the par-5 13th hole at the Masters today, and he converted it with a perfect, extremely long putt. Willett read the green perfectly. ...

Bad Company Man Jeff Van Gundy Brings Up Augusta's Discrimination
Beginning tomorrow, ESPN will broadcast the first two rounds of the Masters at Augusta National Golf Club, so during tonight’s NBA contest they ran a little promo for it. Unfortunately for ESPN and the Masters, play-by-play man Mike Breen went off-script and imagined a world in which Jeff Van Gundy...

<i>Golf Digest</i> Is Running Creepy Photos Of Women Watching Golf Now
It’s not news that the slideshow is a poor (but lucrative) method of framing a story on the internet, but the topic of this Golf Digest effort—“The Hottest Patrons at Augusta”—is just awful. For a magazine that recently banked on side boob on the cover, this is still quite lazy. ...

Jack Nicklaus Sinks Hole-In-One In Par-3 Contest
Old man’s still got it. Jack Nicklaus got a hole-in-one on the fourth hole of today’s par-3 contest at the Masters. The Golden Bear’s 75 years old and still better than you. ...

Patrick Reed Hits Hole-In-One, Loses Watch While Celebrating
Controversy seems to follow PGA golfer Patrick Reed wherever he goes, so it will no doubt bring some joy to his critics that even in his moment of joy after acing the 16th hole at the Houston Open, he suffered a loss: specifically, that of his watch. ...

<i>Golf Digest</i> Embraces The Power Of Men Leering At Boobs
The cover of this month’s issue of Golf Digest features LPGA tour golfer Lexi Thompson wearing a—golf towel? Cut up shirt? Weird scarf?—and not much else. It’s the “Fitness & Power Issue,” which I guess has something to do with side boob....