gross Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Gaah! Michael Strahan's Fingers Will Haunt Your Dreams
Given the nature of our content this week, we were looking for videos of golden retriever puppies prancing about in a field to end the day here, but then we came across this, and we decided to horrify you once again. It's no secret that Michael Strahan (and plenty of other pro football players) suff...
<i>Of Course</i> Rex Grossman Is Mickey Rourke's Favorite Quarterback
When the world's ballsiest train wreck calls you "a train wreck with balls," you know you're doing something right, Rex. [Nerd Tears]...
John Beck Gets To Be The Next Redskins Starting QB To Screw Everything Up
According to Dan Steinberg, Mike Shanahan's decision to make a change for Sunday's game at the Panthers makes Beck the 13th different starter in Dan Snyder's tenure as owner. To which Steinberg added: "Name them all, and then punch yourself in the face." [D.C. Sports Bog]...
This Photo Of Dominick Cruz's Surgically Repaired Hand Is HOLY SHIT LOOK HOW BIG AND GROSS IT LOOKS
Cruz, UFC's bantamweight champion, broke his right hand en route to earning a unanimous decision against Demetrious Johnson on Oct. 1. He finally got around to having surgery on the hand this week, and our stomachs are all grateful to him for posting what it looked like the following day on Twitter...
The Cowboys Didn't Lose Last Night, But It Wasn't For Lack Of Trying
If you were watching the ESPN postgame last night you probably heard a lot about how Tony Romo and the Cowboys "dug deep." This is a nice way of crediting the winners of an ugly, sloppily played game, which I've reduced here to a few of its ugliest, most sloppily played moments. ...
Jim Leyland Is Finally Wearing A Fresh Pair Of Underwear
At some point during the Tigers' 12-game win streak, we unfortunately learned this week, manager Jim Leyland and hitting coach Lloyd McClendon stopped changing their underwear. Detroit lost to the A's 6-1 last night—still a partial victory for everyone else in the Tigers clubhouse....
A Gruesome Wipe-Out Left This Surfer With Coral Lodged In Her Face
Keala Kennelly, a female pro surfer who is not—far as we know—a con artist, went under during a ride in Teahupoo, Tahiti at the end of August. She hit the reef so hard that the subsequent surgery was necessary in part to remove coral from her face. Video from the wipe-out was just released on Tues...
Noted Chubby Quarterback Makes Widely Derided Prediction
Rex Grossman is the No.1 quarterback on the Redskins' depth chart. I know that means close to absolute zero in the long term, but c'mon: read that first sentence again....
This Is Your Leg. This Is Your Leg On Cycling.
The human body was never designed to complete something like the Tour de France, let alone 15 of them. George Hincapie, best known as the longtime wingman/minion of Lance Armstrong, now sports a gnarly leg in the original sense of the word....
John Buccigross Just Mistakenly And Fittingly Called Wilt Chamberlain The "Big Dick" On Air
John Buccigross, Fire Joe Morgan's most ardent fan, bequeathed his own gift to the site on SportsCenter this afternoon. He quickly corrected himself for the factual error....
The Bulging, Feces-Filled Sacs In Brock Lesnar's Colon As Metaphor For Brock Lesnar's MMA Career
Dana White and the UFC convened an emergency conference call yesterday to announce that human orca Brock Lesnar has come down with diverticulitis for a second time and will pull out of his fight against Junior Dos Santos at UFC 131. What, you may ask, is diverticulitis? The National Center for Biote...
McNabb Benched Because Rex Grossman Has Better Grasp Of 60-Minute Offense, Or Something
CSN's Kelli Johnson reports: "Just learned that Rex Grossman is starting over McNabb Sun in Dallas; I'm told Redskins Lockeroom is divided and guys are extremely upset." [@kjohnsoncsn]...
Knifepoint Cunnilingus And A Fishy Scent
I don't want to spoil the surprise, but I really think you should check this out....
A Love Letter To Ken Tremendous From John Buccigross
"No one writes things like 'Heck, as a kid...' unless they are sucking up to 90-year-olds in Clearfield, Pa., who read Parade magazine" is the finest construction since Jaromir Jagr's rant on the Magna Carta. Thank You.—John Buccigross, ESPN, via email....
The Risk You Run When You Try To Become An Oyster-Eating Champion
Meet Ken Orndoff of Hoover, Ala. When he wanted to set a record and heard a local fish food place wanted to show its Gulf oysters were fresh, something clicked. Plus, there was $25 on the line....
Tennessee Football Team Doesn't Know How To Properly Bathe
A staph infection outbreak among several Tennessee football players left coach Derek Dooley with no option other than to conduct a team-wide clinic on proper showering technique and hygiene. Work up a rich lather after the jump....
The Grossest Thing You'll Read All Week
Seattle man dumps bucket filled with "urine, feces and vomit" on neighbor. The Aristocrats!...
Serial Semen Squirter Finally Behind Bars
Michael Edwards Jr. is accused of spraying Gaithersburg, Md., shoppers with semen from a bottle. Police say there are other victims out there, and they're unsure of where the semen came from. Carl Monday warned us, people. [WaPo]...
Chris Cooley, Chugging Condiments
Our old friend Chris Cooley is back. No, he's not showing us his penis this time. But after seeing this video, we almost wish he had....
Weightlifter Pukes Attempting 1,000-lb Squat
This man didn't successfully squat 1,008 pounds, but he did manage to vomit all over the judge before passing out. (Great job by the spotter at the end, btw.) Did I mention it was projectile vomiting? [LastAngryFan via WindyCitizen]...