hate Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Note On Drew
Irredeemable Vikings fan and beloved voice of Deadspin Drew Magary has been moved to the injured reserve list after an accident last week. He is receiving the best possible care, is surrounded by his family and friends, and is doing well under the circumstances. We miss his randomly capitalized exub...
Kyrie Irving Is Sorry For Ironically(?) Perpetuating The Flat Earth Theory
Boston Celtics guard Kyrie Irving has something of a confession: He was not totally serious about being a big-time flat Earth guy, even though he spent a lot of time playing the part of a fake-deep intellectual. At a panel today, Kyrie blamed an algorithm-fueled YouTube binge for his incorrect belie...
The Final Installment Of The Engelb Vielma Tracker, Featuring The Greatest Anagrammed Hits
Many—most?—Orioles games feel vaguely pointless right now. The end result is usually clear before the game is underway, and while there’s plenty of different ways for the team to reach that result, those differ only in substance rather than sentiment. It’s all going to be pretty depressing. This was...
Deadcast Classics: Three Idiots Walk Into A Williams-Sonoma
In a universe that is similar to but not quite the same as this one, a new and very strange Deadcast would appear in this space. Drew would probably be more or less the same as usual, but as I had just gotten off an overnight flight on Wednesday morning, it’s a virtual certainty that I would have be...
The 2018 Hater’s Guide To The Oscars<em></em>
I was asleep last year when Warren Beatty, who last made a good movie before the advent of the steam engine, and Faye Dunaway botched the Best Picture announcement for Moonlight. I have very few regrets about this because I just watched it on YouTube the next day and because, if you go by the analyt...
I Guess It's Time For Our Annual "The Wizards Are Trash" Post
The Cavaliers are imploding; the Bucks fired their coach; the Rockets are tunneling into other teams’ locker rooms to make war; even the Celtics have lost three straight and seem wobbly for the first time since opening night. Stuff’s kind of weird around the NBA right now, is what I am saying....
Order The Veggie Burger With Bacon
More often than is smart, I find myself at a bar and desperately in need of sustenance with dwindling options. Maybe you’re an idiot like me, or maybe you work nights at a bar or restaurant and need to eat something satisfying that won’t knock you on your ass mid-shift. And when you ask a server if ...
Everything That Should Die In 2018
It was a miserable year full of miserable things. Here is some stuff from 2017 that we hope stays in 2017....
A Bonus Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
Hello again. Earlier this week we all gathered round the wassail to roast the goofiest items in this year’s Williams-Sonoma catalog. HOWEVER, it was a really thick catalog this year, and there simply wasn’t enough room in print for EVERY ridiculous item featured. Especially the champagne saber. So, ...
The 2017 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog<em></em>
Oh! It’s you! My dearest, most refined holiday compatriot! My apologies, I didn’t see you were at the door....
The 2017 Hater’s Guide To The MLB Playoffs<em></em>
Hey, it’s finally baseball season! Pitchers pitchin’! Catchers catchin’! Bats crackin’! Batters scratchin’! Now I know every loves a little taste of summer training, but now they start playing games that count! [Mel Allen voice] How about that?...
The 2017 Hater’s Guide To The Oscars<em></em>
Oh God, it’s Oscar time again. Just what I needed in the middle of the fucking apocalypse. Donald Trump is President. Russia has hacked all of our phones and is actively watching us masturbate. And every public school is going to teach your kids that gay people come from the fucking moon. These are ...
The 2016 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
I was on the Jersey Turnpike when I saw it. I was driving my family to New York for Thanksgiving and there, along the shittiest stretch of road in the shittiest state in America, I saw the Williams-Sonoma fulfillment center: a vast hangar that seemed to stretch a mile long, with shipping containers ...
“You Shitti Farty Dirty Nasty JUDE Bitch!”: Trump Voters Send Their Best
Donald Trump is about to be president, a white nationalist is whispering in his ear, and Jeff “The Ku Klux Klan Is Alright By Me” Sessions will soon be our attorney general. We are entering a golden age for racists in America. And according to my inbox, these assholes know it....
Please Return Cassius Marsh's Stolen <i>Magic: The Gathering</i> Cards
I’ve never lost my Magic: The Gathering cards to anything more malicious than a sofa cushion, but I can fathom the pain Seattle Seahawks linebacker Cassius Marsh is feeling after his Land Rover was broken into on Tuesday night. What follows is a tragic sequence of events, and a translation....
My Year In Gawker Hate Mail
I started working at Gawker.com in April of last year, and ever since, I’ve received a constant barrage of always furious, often antisemitic, and rarely coherent emails to my inbox. Reading these is, truthfully, the single best part of my day....
Taylor Swift Sends Terrible Gifts To Her Friends
One thing we know to be true about Taylor Swift is that she is frequently photographed with other people. The Instagram personality, who is also a musician, refers to the people in these photographs her “friends.” She has many of them! More friends than you and me, and everyone we know combined. She...
Hatem Ben Arfa Won't Be At The Euros, But Let's Watch Him Flay Defenders Anyway
Overshadowed in the international selection controversy sparked by Eric Cantona’s comments and Karim Benzema’s fanning of the flames was Cantona’s lamentation that Hatem Ben Arfa wasn’t called up for the France team for the Euros. As understandable as the Ben Arfa snub is, it’s still sad. Because Be...
The Hater’s Guide To The 2016 NBA Finals
A few years ago, when my children were very small, I lamented the fact that I had to cut a great deal of sports out of my life. This happens when you have a baby. There’s no time to watch a tetrafinal playoff game because the kid needs to be fed or taken for a stroll or put to bed or have its butt w...
Hating-Ass West Ham Owner Thinks Leicester's Title Was All Luck
If this were any other year, West Ham would be one of the biggest stories in the Premier League. Here’s a club playing some of the prettiest soccer in the league, paced by hidden diamond Dimitri Payet, and has performed so well so consistently that they are still pressing for a Champions League spot...