I was asleep last year when Warren Beatty, who last made a good movie before the advent of the steam engine, and Faye…

Oh! It’s you! My dearest, most refined holiday compatriot! My apologies, I didn’t see you were at the door.

Hey, it’s finally baseball season! Pitchers pitchin’! Catchers catchin’! Bats crackin’! Batters scratchin’! Now I know…

Oh God, it’s Oscar time again. Just what I needed in the middle of the fucking apocalypse. Donald Trump is President.…

I was on the Jersey Turnpike when I saw it. I was driving my family to New York for Thanksgiving and there, along the…

A few years ago, when my children were very small, I lamented the fact that I had to cut a great deal of sports out of…

Chris Rock is hosting the Oscars this year, and he took the gig long before the nominees were announced and everyone…

I have terrible news for you, America. I know that you’ve already endured a harsh autumn of partisan politics and mass…

I know college football season is already underway, but it’s never, ever too late to comb through the Top 25 and say…

If you aren’t a moron idiot, you probably enjoyed the first Avengers movie from 2012, because it was great. The sequel, …

Every year, the Oscars come along, and it becomes more evident that the Oscars are the worst live event on television.…

Finding the right gift for everyone in your family can be a real bitch. Your mom just wants a phone call. Your dad…

I missed the All-Jeter Game last night but I’m told it was an emotional Jeterball game in which Derek Jeter jetered a…

Soccer! Football! The Beautiful Game! OL’ NETTY! Yes, it’s time again for 31 contending nations (plus England) to…

Oh hey, the Oscars are on Sunday night! And congratulations to America’s celebrities for enduring another painfully…

Greetings, comrade! And welcome to the 2014 Winter Olympic Games in Sochi, Russia! Thank God that Vladimir Putin has…

I have a house and, like most houses, it’s an unfinished work. There are cracks in the paint. There are piles of old…

This is it, everyone. This is the last year of college football shooting itself in the foot with a shitty,…

I am not the greatest parent in the world. In fact, I wrote an entire book coming out today that indisputably proves…

Percy Harvin is headed to Seattle. Let's deal with this news, first with reason and then with angry, drunken homerism.