The 2018 Hater’s Guide To The Oscars
I was asleep last year when Warren Beatty, who last made a good movie before the advent of the steam engine, and Faye…
The 2017 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
Oh! It’s you! My dearest, most refined holiday compatriot! My apologies, I didn’t see you were at the door.
The 2017 Hater’s Guide
To The MLB Playoffs
Hey, it’s finally baseball season! Pitchers pitchin’! Catchers catchin’! Bats crackin’! Batters scratchin’! Now I know…
The 2017 Hater’s Guide To The Oscars
Oh God, it’s Oscar time again. Just what I needed in the middle of the fucking apocalypse. Donald Trump is President.…
The 2016 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
I was on the Jersey Turnpike when I saw it. I was driving my family to New York for Thanksgiving and there, along the…
The Hater’s Guide To The 2016 NBA Finals
A few years ago, when my children were very small, I lamented the fact that I had to cut a great deal of sports out of…
The 2016 Hater’s Guide To The Oscars
Chris Rock is hosting the Oscars this year, and he took the gig long before the nominees were announced and everyone…
The 2015 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
I have terrible news for you, America. I know that you’ve already endured a harsh autumn of partisan politics and mass…
Deadcast: The 2015 Hater’s Guide To The Top 25
I know college football season is already underway, but it’s never, ever too late to comb through the Top 25 and say…
The Hater’s Guide To Avengers: Age of Ultron
If you aren’t a moron idiot, you probably enjoyed the first Avengers movie from 2012, because it was great. The sequel, …
The Hater’s Guide To The 2015 Oscars
Every year, the Oscars come along, and it becomes more evident that the Oscars are the worst live event on television.…
The Scientology Christmas Catalog Is Totally Insane
Finding the right gift for everyone in your family can be a real bitch. Your mom just wants a phone call. Your dad…
The Hater’s Guide To Derek Jeter
I missed the All-Jeter Game last night but I’m told it was an emotional Jeterball game in which Derek Jeter jetered a…
The Hater’s Guide To The 2014 World Cup
Soccer! Football! The Beautiful Game! OL’ NETTY! Yes, it’s time again for 31 contending nations (plus England) to…
The 2014 Hater's Guide To The Oscars
Oh hey, the Oscars are on Sunday night! And congratulations to America’s celebrities for enduring another painfully…
The Hater's Guide To The Sochi Olympics
Greetings, comrade! And welcome to the 2014 Winter Olympic Games in Sochi, Russia! Thank God that Vladimir Putin has…
The 2013 Hater's Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
I have a house and, like most houses, it’s an unfinished work. There are cracks in the paint. There are piles of old…
The 2013 Hater's Guide To The Top 25
This is it, everyone. This is the last year of college football shooting itself in the foot with a shitty,…
The Hater's Guide To Other Parents
I am not the greatest parent in the world. In fact, I wrote an entire book coming out today that indisputably proves…
The Percy Harvin Trade Is Great News For Football And Horrible News For Me
Percy Harvin is headed to Seattle. Let's deal with this news, first with reason and then with angry, drunken homerism.