heat Page 65 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sepp Blatter Trafficks In Swinging Stereotypes
FIFA's president: "This is a special approach in the Anglo-Saxon countries. If this had happened in let's say Latin countries then I think he would have been applauded." No, in the Latin countries, this would have been mandatory. [Evening Standard]...

Most NBA Fans Still Don't Know How To React When There's a Transsexual On The TEE-VEE
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Last Night's Winner: Jay Cutler
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Jay Cutler, who proved that the frozen arctic godlessness and nuthin' to play for cannot stop his Windy City Heat....

Pat Riley Preferred to Parcel Out Looks of Disdain
Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra dubbed himself "Santa Spo" and "presented players with a vocabulary calendar and the book The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work and Team with Positive Energy." Merry ... Christmas? [Miami Herald]...

Last Night's Winner: Losers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the 1988-89 Miami Heat and the 1998-99 Clippers, who won last night because the New Jersey Nets lost....

I Loved It. It Was Much Better Than "The Bengals"
Broadway is producing a play about the life of Vince Lombardi. Because the only thing liberal East Coast elitst theatergoers love more than football is people from Wisconsin. [WSOCTV]...

Are There Any Photos Of Michael Beasley That Aren't Potential Crime Scenes?
Even after rehab, Beasley can't stay away from the personal demon that has caused him the most trouble: cameras....

Shady Soccer Match Invents The "Let's All Stand On The Sideline" Defense
Dirty Tackle tracked this one down, and it's impressive for the sheer ballsiness of it....

Hockey Player Joins Team He Was Born To Play For
This is Wheaton King of....the Brandon Wheat Kings. The story: Dad (presumably) names son after local minor league hockey team, kid grows up to play for said hockey team, heads explode. [TheScore]...

Oh Great, Even Less Scoring In Soccer
Of the many ways to cheat at professional sports, the simplest are sometimes the most effective. Like, say, a keeper making his goal smaller. Oh, soccer, this whole taking-you-seriously thing isn't going to work out....

Out Of Rehab, Michael Beasley Says He's Supercool Once More
Beasley just finished up a monthlong stint at a substance-abuse center in Houston and announced that he had moved on from weed, Twitter and adolescence in general. Whether any of those things actually constituted a problem, however, is still unclear....

Heat Staff Find Their Paychecks In A Miami Vise
Want to trim the budget during a recession, but can't get around that little matter of guaranteed contracts? Take a page from Heat, and cut the pay of the entire front office staff, including Erik Spoelstra and Pat Riley....

Michael Beasley's Dad Says He Has Some Serious Issues
Now comes word that Michael Beasley's rehab stay has been planned for a year, and is unrelated to his latest Twitter-related meltdown. What does this teach us, other than that this kid has long-term issues? His father has some ideas....

Everything Is Not Super Cool For Michael Beasley
It seems the tattoo and dime bag photo of Michael Beasley was just the tip of his breakdown-filled weekend that started with some depressing Twitter messages and ended with him in rehab....

Starred Commenter Theater: Cannonball
Canada's Eric Sehn dives in the men's 10m platform preliminaries at the World Championships last week. [Reuters via The Big Picture]...

Starred Commenter Theater: The Watermelonheads
Fans, wearing watermelons on their heads, watch the Rays-Blue Jays game in Toronto on Saturday. [Canadian Press/Associated Press via WSJ]...

Starred Commenter Theater: Water Polo Roughhousing
Show your open caption abilities, please. [A Hungarian water polo player, right, and his Serbian opponent in the quarterfinals of the world championships in Rome; image via European Pressphoto Agency via NYT]...

Christine Brennan Offers Underminey Advice To Erin Andrews
Says the USA Today columnist: "I also would suggest to her ... that she rely on her talent and brains and not succumb to the lowest common denominator in sports media by playing to the frat house." [Big Lead]...

Nike Just Steals It
A woman in California is accusing the King Kong of clothing companies of stealing her trademarked slogan. Thankfully, this is America, where large, filthy rich corporations don't stand a chance against your average Jane Citizen....

Tough Week For Phillies Fans All Around
First you have Marco Scutaro nabbing second after a walk as the Phillies infield snoozes, then you have two broads bashing each other in the stands at CBP because they're so distraught over it. [The Fightins]...