heat Page 66 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Fishing Tourney Cheat Heads To Jail
A Texas man is going to prison(!) for exaggerating the size of his bass by shoving a lead weight down its throat before the weigh-in....

The Deadspin Field Guide To Tiki's And Tiger's Barely Legal Liaisons
Two superstars, both caught with (much) younger women. This looks bad, but it's possible for Tiki Barber and Tiger Woods to minimize the damage. We offer some helpful dos and don'ts for everyone on how to conduct their Nabokovian affairs....

AHL Coach Hulks Out On Referee
This is the Abbotsford Heat's Jim Playfair, concerned with a lack of fair play. The casualties: two sticks, and perhaps a pair of jacket buttons....

This Is What A Young Atlanta Braves Pitcher Looks Like When He's Busted For Soliciting Imaginary Hookers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Sepp Blatter Trafficks In Swinging Stereotypes
FIFA's president: "This is a special approach in the Anglo-Saxon countries. If this had happened in let's say Latin countries then I think he would have been applauded." No, in the Latin countries, this would have been mandatory. [Evening Standard]...

Most NBA Fans Still Don't Know How To React When There's a Transsexual On The TEE-VEE
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Last Night's Winner: Jay Cutler
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Jay Cutler, who proved that the frozen arctic godlessness and nuthin' to play for cannot stop his Windy City Heat....

Pat Riley Preferred to Parcel Out Looks of Disdain
Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra dubbed himself "Santa Spo" and "presented players with a vocabulary calendar and the book The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work and Team with Positive Energy." Merry ... Christmas? [Miami Herald]...

Last Night's Winner: Losers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the 1988-89 Miami Heat and the 1998-99 Clippers, who won last night because the New Jersey Nets lost....

I Loved It. It Was Much Better Than "The Bengals"
Broadway is producing a play about the life of Vince Lombardi. Because the only thing liberal East Coast elitst theatergoers love more than football is people from Wisconsin. [WSOCTV]...

Are There Any Photos Of Michael Beasley That Aren't Potential Crime Scenes?
Even after rehab, Beasley can't stay away from the personal demon that has caused him the most trouble: cameras....

Shady Soccer Match Invents The "Let's All Stand On The Sideline" Defense
Dirty Tackle tracked this one down, and it's impressive for the sheer ballsiness of it....

Hockey Player Joins Team He Was Born To Play For
This is Wheaton King of....the Brandon Wheat Kings. The story: Dad (presumably) names son after local minor league hockey team, kid grows up to play for said hockey team, heads explode. [TheScore]...

Oh Great, Even Less Scoring In Soccer
Of the many ways to cheat at professional sports, the simplest are sometimes the most effective. Like, say, a keeper making his goal smaller. Oh, soccer, this whole taking-you-seriously thing isn't going to work out....

Out Of Rehab, Michael Beasley Says He's Supercool Once More
Beasley just finished up a monthlong stint at a substance-abuse center in Houston and announced that he had moved on from weed, Twitter and adolescence in general. Whether any of those things actually constituted a problem, however, is still unclear....

Heat Staff Find Their Paychecks In A Miami Vise
Want to trim the budget during a recession, but can't get around that little matter of guaranteed contracts? Take a page from Heat, and cut the pay of the entire front office staff, including Erik Spoelstra and Pat Riley....

Michael Beasley's Dad Says He Has Some Serious Issues
Now comes word that Michael Beasley's rehab stay has been planned for a year, and is unrelated to his latest Twitter-related meltdown. What does this teach us, other than that this kid has long-term issues? His father has some ideas....

Everything Is Not Super Cool For Michael Beasley
It seems the tattoo and dime bag photo of Michael Beasley was just the tip of his breakdown-filled weekend that started with some depressing Twitter messages and ended with him in rehab....

Starred Commenter Theater: Cannonball
Canada's Eric Sehn dives in the men's 10m platform preliminaries at the World Championships last week. [Reuters via The Big Picture]...

Starred Commenter Theater: The Watermelonheads
Fans, wearing watermelons on their heads, watch the Rays-Blue Jays game in Toronto on Saturday. [Canadian Press/Associated Press via WSJ]...