heat Page 67 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Michael Beasley Is A Young Man In Need Of A Crazy Joe Clark-Like Figure
The NBA handed out punishments to former Kansas players Mario Chalmers and Darrell Arthur for that Rookie Transition Training incident, but it turns out that Kansas State's Michael Beasley was also there that night, partaking in the nefarious, smoky late night activities. The Heat's number one pick ...
Creative Ways to Cheat Your Way to Success Back at the Office
Over the weekend, we've been presented with numerous ways to succeed by circumventing unfair and inappropriate "rules" meant to hurt you and not others by not giving you everything you want immediately. As we close out this weekend, let us give you the tools used by sports teams across the globe so ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after installing this in your backyard ......
Madonna Begged For This To Happen
Jose Canseco is probably going to need some help with the fighting scenes in his grand Yuen Woo-ping-choreographed kung fu movie, because, well, dude can't fight. Last night he was dealt a first-round knockout at the fisted hands of former Philadelphia Eagles return man Vai Sikahema in Atlantic Cit...
Dwyane Wade Becomes Unwitting Spokesman In China
Dwyane Wade's plummet from fresh-faced NBA megastar to injury-prone cellphone salesman continues on its downward spiral, as the Miami Heat guard has popped up as the new face of Chinese-based "Sueper Sex", a pre-intercourse "time delay capsule" according to Black Sports Online. (Via Sports Business ...
Rejected Commenter Theater 4: Citizens on Patrol
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane, co-editor of Walk Off Walk, to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....
Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?
Remember when Dywane Wade was everybody's favorite athlete? Humble, freakishly talented, good to his family, an All-American guy. So ... what happened?...
Facebook Makes It Easier, And More Difficult, To Cheat In College
We are still somewhat new to the world of Facebook — and we really, really don't want to Facebook chat, and we'd rather not the world know that we bought two tickets to Baby Mama — but if we had access to it when we were in college, we suspect we would have had a different experience. We definitely ...
Is Star Jones In Dwyane Wade's Five?
Chances are this isn't even remotely close to being true, but it's so preposterous and gross that it's at least somewhat amusing. The always reliable gossip site Mediatakeout is reporting that Miami Heat's injured forward Dwyane Wade is (blecch) now (plettch) dating (claggh) the saggy old remains of...
Rejected Commenter Theater 3: The Rejeckoning
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane, co-editor of Walk Off Walk, to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....
South Park, Cheating, And You
“In America, it’s OK to cheat as long as you cheat your way to the top.” What does Stand and Deliver have in common with Bill Belichick? South Park explains....
The Glory Of The Knicks Vs. The Heat
A friend of ours attended the Knicks-Heat game last night — the Knicks won 103-99 in overtime — and emailed us, alarmed; it appeared he had been transported to something quite different than an NBA game....
Heat Forget How To Score, And The Answer Was In Philly
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's really looking forward to Easter, the day on which Larry Bird returns from the dead to lay multi-colored eggs under a Christmas tree. When he's not wondering whether Larry knows whether he's been naughty or nice, he can be found weaving his Easter bask...
Kobe Won't Stop Looking At DWade
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who freaking slept through the Mavs/Spurs game but then woke up for the Heat/Lakers game and therefore wants you to please, please kill him. When he isn't begging for death, he can be found seeking it out at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • Tim Duncan + Doing Everyth...
Pat Riley Feels Like A Mosquito In A Nudist Colony. Seriously
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who loves zombie movies and is really ticked off that Diary of the Dead came out in a limited release. Oh well. Hopefully World War Z will come out some time in the next year. Anyway, when he isn't obsessing over flesh-eating ghouls, he can be found feasting...
Trying To Figure Out That Crazy Shaq-Suns Trade
It's pretty rare, in this sports world we all love, fear and hold dear, to find something that everyone agrees on. Unanimity of opinion is non-existent; we sometimes wonder if you held a poll saying, "Would you like to be punched in the face right now?" the margin would still have at least 0.001 pe...
Mr. T Pities Fools, Miami Heat
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not admiring this Rik Smits wallpaper, he can be found country line dancing at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • At least he's in Barkley's Fav...
Heat Keep On Slipping, Slipping, Slipping ...
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or hiding in suitcases, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....
The Ultimate Warrior Likes All But One Of Heath Ledger's Movies
If you're like me, your social and political outlook is heavily influenced by blogs written by former pro wrestlers. You may or may not remember The Ultimate Warrior (aka Brian James Hellwig), who retired from the WWF in 1997 after a contract dispute. To let you know what kind of guy we're dealing w...
51.8 Gigawatts!?
After a loss to the Atlanta Hawks, Udonis Haslem looked at a picture of his family and saw his siblings fading out of focus. He had no choice but to set things right and change the past. See, back on December 18 against the Atlanta Hawks, a last-minute foul that should have gone to Haslem instead wa...