heat Page 67 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rejected Commenter Theater 3: The Rejeckoning
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane, co-editor of Walk Off Walk, to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....
South Park, Cheating, And You
“In America, it’s OK to cheat as long as you cheat your way to the top.” What does Stand and Deliver have in common with Bill Belichick? South Park explains....
The Glory Of The Knicks Vs. The Heat
A friend of ours attended the Knicks-Heat game last night — the Knicks won 103-99 in overtime — and emailed us, alarmed; it appeared he had been transported to something quite different than an NBA game....
Heat Forget How To Score, And The Answer Was In Philly
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's really looking forward to Easter, the day on which Larry Bird returns from the dead to lay multi-colored eggs under a Christmas tree. When he's not wondering whether Larry knows whether he's been naughty or nice, he can be found weaving his Easter bask...
Kobe Won't Stop Looking At DWade
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who freaking slept through the Mavs/Spurs game but then woke up for the Heat/Lakers game and therefore wants you to please, please kill him. When he isn't begging for death, he can be found seeking it out at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • Tim Duncan + Doing Everyth...
Pat Riley Feels Like A Mosquito In A Nudist Colony. Seriously
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who loves zombie movies and is really ticked off that Diary of the Dead came out in a limited release. Oh well. Hopefully World War Z will come out some time in the next year. Anyway, when he isn't obsessing over flesh-eating ghouls, he can be found feasting...
Trying To Figure Out That Crazy Shaq-Suns Trade
It's pretty rare, in this sports world we all love, fear and hold dear, to find something that everyone agrees on. Unanimity of opinion is non-existent; we sometimes wonder if you held a poll saying, "Would you like to be punched in the face right now?" the margin would still have at least 0.001 pe...
Mr. T Pities Fools, Miami Heat
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not admiring this Rik Smits wallpaper, he can be found country line dancing at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • At least he's in Barkley's Fav...
Heat Keep On Slipping, Slipping, Slipping ...
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or hiding in suitcases, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....
The Ultimate Warrior Likes All But One Of Heath Ledger's Movies
If you're like me, your social and political outlook is heavily influenced by blogs written by former pro wrestlers. You may or may not remember The Ultimate Warrior (aka Brian James Hellwig), who retired from the WWF in 1997 after a contract dispute. To let you know what kind of guy we're dealing w...
51.8 Gigawatts!?
After a loss to the Atlanta Hawks, Udonis Haslem looked at a picture of his family and saw his siblings fading out of focus. He had no choice but to set things right and change the past. See, back on December 18 against the Atlanta Hawks, a last-minute foul that should have gone to Haslem instead wa...
Boy, Is China's Face Red
OK, this is pretty hilarious. During a televised ceremony to launch China's television station for the Bejing Olympics, CCTV-5, famed Chinese broadcaster Zhang Bin was ambushed by his wife, who burst onto the stage and accused him of an affair....
How Do You Like 'Dem Apples, Riley?
My Christmas holiday summed up in five words or less: Clementines, Toblerones and beer. No joke. A million thanks to Alphonso Jackson, Nancy K. Kopp and, of course, Rick Chandler for filling in while I was gone. Your 'Body Shop' gift certificates are in the mail. Now, on to the NBA Closer!...
Pretend It's A Playoff Game, And The Heat Are Suddenly Good Again
Let's see if I got this right. The Miami Heat are still supposed to be good because Shaquille O'Neal is still tall, Dwyane Wade is still making commercials, and Pat Riley's hair gel also doubles as a love potion, or so claimed the highly motivated salesman and his cardboard kiosk. But even after Wad...
Heat Check, Heat Rising, Etc., Etc.
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
When Life Imitates Art
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
Smush Parker Has Had It Up To Here With Hidden Fees
If Smush Parker wasn't your favorite player in the NBA before this week — and dammit, he should have been! — he certainly is making a plea for your heart now....
A Little Left In The Big Tank
• Some Country For Old Men. I have no idea which Heat scrub cranked up Shaquille O'Neal last night — Chris Quinn maybe? — but whoever it was sure had that sucker wound tight. The Big Everything had season highs of 26 points and 14 rebounds, his best game in what feels like years, as the Heat handed ...
Phil Jackson Just Can't Quit You
Sure, Phil Jackson's post-game comments on Tuesday were controversial. But the cinematography was spectacular, and we say he deserves an Oscar. Wait, what? After losing to the Spurs on Tuesday, Jackson said "We call this a 'Brokeback Mountain' game because there's so much penetration and kickouts." ...
Heat Find A Way To Suck Even In Victory
The Miami Heat hadn't won a game since April 13, and that includes this preseason. So when Jason Williams hit a jumper wirg 19 seconds remaining in the game to give them 75 points, it looked like another loss; the sixth straight of the regularseason. But no! The Knicks — God bless 'em — onloy scored...