heisman Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

MNF Still Haunts Joe Theismann's Corpse
Kimmel's quote: "And we welcome Joe Theismann watching from his living room with steam coming out of his ears." You know, we wouldn't mind seeing that, actually....

For Your Viewing Pleasure
• In Progress — CFB: Wisconsin at Illinois [ESPN] • 1:00 — Movie: The Ladies Man [Comedy Central] • 1:30 — Movie: The Hunt for Red October [HDNM] • 2:00 — Golf: Constellation Energy Senior Players, Third Round [NBC] • 3:00 — Ponies: Breeders' Cup Challenge [ESPN] • 3:30 — CFB: Oklahoma at Texas [ABC...

New MNF Booth Just Full Of Giggles!
Newsday's Neil Best documents a happening that seems specifically designed to make Joe Theismann pound his face repeatedly against a wall: a practice session with the new "Monday Night Football" crew. They're having so much fun!...

Theismann Still Bitching About MNF Firing
We're sure there are people out there other than Joe Theismann and Washington Post columnist Leonard Shapiro who will miss Theismann on "Monday Night Football" broadcasts next year. We just can't find any of them....

Enjoy Eight More Years Of The WNBA On ESPN
Big weekend for the WNBA, and boy, there's a sentence. (Well, independent clause, actually, but you get the point.) First off, the WNBA All-Star Game was yesterday. Bless their heart, the intrepid folks at WNBA.com live blogged the whole thing. Hope nobody kicked them out of the press box for that....

What We Wish We Could Bid On At The ESPN Auctions
Tomorrow is the last day to bid on official ESPN items to benefit The V Foundation, which helps cancer research and the ability to recruit in a somewhat shady manner. Most of the items are rather dull. An ESPN employee banner signed by Trey Wingo and Jeremy Schapp! A signed Bill Callahan Nebraska je...

Brady Quinn, Always With The Hetero Photos
Last March, Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk married Laura Quinn, whom you might remember as the double-jerseyed sister of new Browns quarterback Brady Quinn....

Bad Sign for Brady Quinn: He's Taking Joe Theismann Seriously
Brady Quinn's dreams had just been peed on for 4½ straight hours before finding out he was going to be spending his career in the high-fashion mecca of Cleveland ... I thought we could all forgive him if he looked a bit disheveled. Joe Theismann could not....

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over
Over the weekend, Pro Football Talk reported that everybody's favorite mathematician Joe Theismann was likely out as Monday Night Football "analyst," with his likely replacement being the infinitely superior Ron Jaworski. Today, The New York Times gets in on the act, confirming it with ESPN sources....

But Who Will Exchange Witty Banter With Jim Belushi?
You may have seen the last of Joe "Norman Einstein" Theismann in the Monday Night Football booth. Pro Football Talk is reporting that Theismann is out, and will be replaced by the great Ron Jaworski....

Troy Smith, Terror In The Skies
Troy Smith might be the Heisman Trophy winner, but you gotta be careful with that trophy. Some people might think it's a potential terrorist device....

The Dance Craze That's SWEEPING THE NATION
We'd like to thank Mister Irrelevant for introducing our Meat Loaf-loving asses to the dance craze that's sweeping dorm rooms across the country: It's "Da Heizman On Dat Ho," a Heisman Trophy-inspired ditty and rompstomp that all the kids are doing. We think this is a dance we are capable of doing; ...

Troy Smith's New Bronze Toy
At 8:00 tonight, ESPN begins their coverage of what is consistently one of the least interesting events on the sporting calendar: the presentation of the 2006 Heisman Trophy. I could see myself tuning in for the last 10 minutes or so, but I can't come up with one good reason to watch any of the 50...

The Snow Is Finally Here, And The Playoffs Aren't Far Behind
For all the talk of Brett Favre and Matt Hasselbeck and a dogged night from Shaun Alexander, the main impression we took from last night's MNF Seahawks' win over the Packers was: SNOW! Screw Thanksgiving: We know the holidays are really upon us when it's snowing real hard and people are falling over...

Not Exactly Thrilling NFL Action
We are always hesitant to grouse and grumble about the low excitement level of a particular NFL game and use it as an opportunity to make some larger statement about the game itself; one of the more random things about sports is that sometimes an individual game will just stink, and it's no reflecti...

The MNF Crew, Sadly, Is Getting Worse
The Big Lead says this morning what we've all kind of been thinking: It's probably time to write off the "Monday Night Football" broadcast crew a disaster....

Hey, Let's Play Two Every Monday!
While we acknowledge that the "Monday Night Football" crew might still have some bugs to iron out, as evidenced by this inventive description of new Vikings offensive lineman Steve Hutchinson, on the whole, it was a pretty smooth night of football, considering it went for almost seven hours....

(Almost) Everybody Loves Kornheiser
Well, the early reviews on Tony Kornheiser's debut on "Monday Night Football" are in ... and they're almost universally positive. Here's a sampling:...