hell Page 26 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jalen Ramsey Was Born For This
Maybe this is stupid, but my first thought after the Jaguars beat the Steelers to advance to the AFC Championship game was, “I can’t wait to see what Jalen Ramsey has to say about this.”...
The Winless Browns Can't Get Anyone To Watch Them Because Of Liberalism
You won’t get these facts from the mainstream media!...
Hawks Fan Uses Eccentric Form To Win $10,000 On Half-Court Shot
A fan sank a half-court shot during tonight’s Hawks-Pistons game by just heaving it with a technique vaguely reminiscent of what one might use to toss a shot put—and you know what, it worked out just fine, and he won $10,000 for it, so you can’t really make fun of him for it! Them’s the rules....
We Live In Hell
Alabama senate candidate Roy Moore, who has been multiply and credibly accused of sexually preying on teenage girls, recently sent a mailer to voters in order to convince them that his opponent, Doug Jones, is the wrong man for the job. Please take note of the first bullet point here:...
Steelers' Mike Mitchell Rails At The NFL's Inconsistency On Suspensions For Hits
Steelers safety Mike Mitchell watched how the NFL has responded to three different plays in this past week of football, and he’s not happy about the different punishments that the league has handed down in response or the arcane reasoning behind those punishments....
Donovan Mitchell Will Get You Buckets
Fresh off his 41-point statement game on Friday, Jazz rookie Donovan Mitchell has remained hot as hell. His contribution to Utah’s all-devouring 116-69 destruction of the Wizards was 21 points on 8-for-13 shooting; he sat the entire fourth quarter. Mitchell’s 16.7 points per game put him third among...
Donovan Mitchell Has The Look
When Rudy Gobert was ruled out for a month with a bone bruise in his right knee back on November 11, the Jazz became an afterthought in the crowded Western Conference. The thinking—my thinking, at least—was that Utah’s strong defense would slide without Gobert around to anchor the middle, and for an...
The NFL's Stupid Pizza Wars Were Always Coming
Before he was installed by the electoral college as Supreme Grand Primate Of THE GREAT UNRAVELING, Donald Trump was just one of the more poignant accounts on Twitter. There was nothing sympathetic about him, really, because there has never been anything sympathetic about him. He has been the same wa...
Donovan Mitchell Is A Good Reason To Watch Utah Jazz Games
The Jazz hosted (and smoked) the Lakers last night, and you will be forgiven if this matchup didn’t strike you right away as a meeting of two of the most exciting rookie guards in the NBA. After all, the Jazz are good, and the Lakers are very much not good, and Donovan Mitchell, Utah’s prized rookie...
Alex Smith Calls Out Mike Mitchell For "Extremely Late" And "Flagrant" Hit
Late in the third quarter of this weekend’s loss to the Steelers, Alex Smith escaped third-down pressure and hit Kareem Hunt for a big gain before being brought down after the play by Steelers safety Mike Mitchell. Mitchell was flagged for roughing the passer, and Smith got in his face immediately a...
Falling From High Places Might Be Shane McMahon's Best Skill
You know what’s not fun? Watching a pro wrestling match in 2017 with a genuine fear that someone is about to be maimed....
The Bears Had Been Holding Onto That Sweet Trick Play For A While
Let me list all the things I’m aware of from the football game: It was 3-2 at halftime. Sam Bradford broke down again. Mitchell Trubisky apparently looked decent in his NFL debut, even if basically all the other Bears are bad. This fake punt TD pass was pretty cool, though. Drew says his Vike boys w...
Watch Skip Bayless Debate Himself, If You Dare
Second Take host Skip Bayless is perhaps the most unshakeable sports yeller out there, and he’s certainly the clear debate champion among FS1's band of squawking misfits. The future of FS1 is fewer Ken Rosenthal gems and more cantankerous opinion-havers yelling at each other for some reason, and Bay...
New York City's Parking Rules Have Turned Me Into A Sociopath
“I’ve never seen you happier,” my wife told me one day last week. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. As I started to do a little dance around our living room, she looked at me with bewilderment. The reason for my burst of happiness? I had parked our car and wouldn’t have to move it for more tha...
White Sox Create Hellish Artifact
Why an alarm clock that wakes you up by having Hawk Harrelson scream “You can put it on the board ... YESSSS!” at you exists I just can’t tell you, though Paul Skrbina of the Chicago Tribune has reported that we came close to living in a reality where the clock yelled “You gotta be bleepin’ me!” at ...
The Bears' Mitch Trubisky Pick Keeps Looking Worse And Worse
I made the mistake of going outside this weekend instead of turning off my lights, pulling my curtains, and binging on schadenfreude from the Bears’ shocking draft decision to give up two thirds and a fourth to move up one spot to grab QB Mitchell Trubisky, whom they could’ve had at No. 3 overall an...
Why Did The Bears Give Up So Much For Mitch Trubisky?
Nobody was more surprised at the Chicago Bears’ decision to send four draft picks to the San Francisco 49ers for the right to move up one spot and draft Mitch Trubisky than Trubisky himself. That’s because, according to Trubisky, the Bears only worked him out once, and never communicated with him in...
Last Night's Winner Was This Packers Fan At A Bears Draft Party
Last night, Chicago traded up to take North Carolina quarterback Mitch Trubisky with the second overall pick, enraging Bears fans but absolutely delighting this Packers fan who turned up at the draft party to, presumably, mock his conference rivals....
Bears Trade Up To Take Mitchell Trubisky With Second Pick
The Browns started tonight’s NFL draft by following through on rumors that they would take Texas A&M defensive end Myles Garrett first. Then things got weird....
What It’s Like To Announce A Tennis Match That's Been Interrupted By Loud Sex Noises
Mike Cation heard a moan, and figured it was just two people in the stands talking loudly. The tennis announcer, working the USTA Pro Circuit’s Sarasota Open on Tuesday, looked at the crowd and saw everyone looking around. Then it became clear: This wasn’t two people talking. This was two people fuc...