hell Page 27 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Bears Had Been Holding Onto That Sweet Trick Play For A While
Let me list all the things I’m aware of from the football game: It was 3-2 at halftime. Sam Bradford broke down again. Mitchell Trubisky apparently looked decent in his NFL debut, even if basically all the other Bears are bad. This fake punt TD pass was pretty cool, though. Drew says his Vike boys w...
Watch Skip Bayless Debate Himself, If You Dare
Second Take host Skip Bayless is perhaps the most unshakeable sports yeller out there, and he’s certainly the clear debate champion among FS1's band of squawking misfits. The future of FS1 is fewer Ken Rosenthal gems and more cantankerous opinion-havers yelling at each other for some reason, and Bay...
New York City's Parking Rules Have Turned Me Into A Sociopath
“I’ve never seen you happier,” my wife told me one day last week. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. As I started to do a little dance around our living room, she looked at me with bewilderment. The reason for my burst of happiness? I had parked our car and wouldn’t have to move it for more tha...
White Sox Create Hellish Artifact
Why an alarm clock that wakes you up by having Hawk Harrelson scream “You can put it on the board ... YESSSS!” at you exists I just can’t tell you, though Paul Skrbina of the Chicago Tribune has reported that we came close to living in a reality where the clock yelled “You gotta be bleepin’ me!” at ...
The Bears' Mitch Trubisky Pick Keeps Looking Worse And Worse
I made the mistake of going outside this weekend instead of turning off my lights, pulling my curtains, and binging on schadenfreude from the Bears’ shocking draft decision to give up two thirds and a fourth to move up one spot to grab QB Mitchell Trubisky, whom they could’ve had at No. 3 overall an...
Why Did The Bears Give Up So Much For Mitch Trubisky?
Nobody was more surprised at the Chicago Bears’ decision to send four draft picks to the San Francisco 49ers for the right to move up one spot and draft Mitch Trubisky than Trubisky himself. That’s because, according to Trubisky, the Bears only worked him out once, and never communicated with him in...
Last Night's Winner Was This Packers Fan At A Bears Draft Party
Last night, Chicago traded up to take North Carolina quarterback Mitch Trubisky with the second overall pick, enraging Bears fans but absolutely delighting this Packers fan who turned up at the draft party to, presumably, mock his conference rivals....
Bears Trade Up To Take Mitchell Trubisky With Second Pick
The Browns started tonight’s NFL draft by following through on rumors that they would take Texas A&M defensive end Myles Garrett first. Then things got weird....
What It’s Like To Announce A Tennis Match That's Been Interrupted By Loud Sex Noises
Mike Cation heard a moan, and figured it was just two people in the stands talking loudly. The tennis announcer, working the USTA Pro Circuit’s Sarasota Open on Tuesday, looked at the crowd and saw everyone looking around. Then it became clear: This wasn’t two people talking. This was two people fuc...
The Browns Can't Possibly Fuck This Up...Right?
The consensus is that Myles Garrett will be the first pick in this month’s NFL draft, and that the Texas A&M DE can be a generational player. The consensus does not always turn out to be right, mind you—but it’s right more often than it’s wrong. The Cleveland Browns, picking No. 1, need just about e...
Jeremy Hellickson Vows To Never Hit Another Triple
The designated hitter is a farce and an abomination, but it does keep your pitcher from getting all tuckered out after a jaunt around the basepaths. That’s what happened to Phillies starter Jeremy Hellickson on Monday, after a line drive to right field made him the first Phillies pitcher to hit a tr...
Celebrity Democrats Fuck Off
We have just witnessed the incredible spectacle of a vile right-wing celebrity being elected President of the United States. There is a right lesson—and a wrong one!—for Democrats to take from this. ...
Louisville's Donovan Mitchell Reached Out Of The Arena To Finish Ridiculous Alley-Oop
After last Wednesday, Louisville forward Deng Adel probably thought he was in the clear for claiming the team’s dunk of year. Unfortunately for him, Syracuse defenders are a bunch of ball-watchers....
Just Elect Keith Ellison Already
The race for Democratic National Committee chair has been going on for, it seems, a thousand years. It should mercifully conclude this month. If the Democrats are not idiots, they will give it to Keith Ellison, and move on to doing things of actual importance. ...
![Basketball Player's Eye Pops Out Of Socket In Really Gross Injury [Graphic]<em></em>](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/cny3q7l4uemcmrp8jc6b.jpg)
Basketball Player's Eye Pops Out Of Socket In Really Gross Injury [Graphic]<em></em>
New Zealand Breakers big man Akil Mitchell suffered a horrific and gruesome injury in a game earlier this morning, when his eyeball “puffed out of its socket” after being caught by an opponent going for a rebound....
Have You Worked For Our Incoming Labor Secretary's Fast Food Empire?
Do you work at Hardee’s or Carl’s Jr.? We want to hear from you. ...
Woe To The Land: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL Playoffs
Big choices today, folks. On the one hand, you could do something fun and enriching and squeeze a little enjoyment out of your weekend; on the other hand, you could subject yourself to the misery of what might be the worst playoff quarterback matchup in NFL history. Tough call!...
Mike Mitchell Screams As Officials Deny His Pleas
Mike Mitchell’s one of the NFL’s toughest guys, but when officials called him for a facemask penalty—when, replay showed, he was equally-victimized—he had a reaction for the ages....
Soccer Fan Takes Ball Square In The Face
A spectator at yesterday’s Porto-Feirense Portuguese league cup match learned the hard way to never look away from the match, even for a moment....
Young Man Enjoys Phish Concert
I’ve never been into Phish, partly because I had a really awful roommate in college who loved them, and partly because I once stumbled into a bar that was projecting a live Phish concert onto the wall, much to the delight of the writhing mass of white dudes in sweat-stained ball caps that had packed...