hell Page 39 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Michelle Beadle Is Ready For The ESPYs
But are you? is the real question. Actually, you don't have much choice. There's no real sports. The only TV tonight is scripted garbage, full of hackneyed jokes backed by forced laughter. Or, you could watch sitcoms. Ba-dum-tsh!...

Drunk Coachella Guy Is Here To Save The Day
So, today. Well, good intentions, yadda yadda. It ended up being funny in an absurd sense, right? Well, here's a drunk guy at Coachella last weekend who can't quite figure out sandals or the concept of balance. This is not a metaphor....

Michelle Wie Shows Off Her Less-Clothed Side
The LPGA star is featured in a Radaronline gallery being active in a swimsuit. She's also signed up for the Bell Micro LPGA Classic. Presumably, she will wear more clothes for that event....

The Five Most Enjoyable Phony Voices To Speak In While Alone
Yes, sometimes I try out foreign accents and voices when alone in the car or the shower. It's how I prepare myself in case I'm plucked from obscurity to play a Bond villain....

Inflatable Dong-Tongued Mascot Returns To Eat ESPN's Michelle Beadle
Mackerel Jordan, last seen devouring hapless university athletic department employees, appeared on SportsNation yesterday. After being mocked by Michelle Beadle, the man-fish did what man-fish do best: feast....

Even The Promotional Copy For Rick Reilly®'s New Book Is Phoned-In
"His new book — out May 4, 2010 — is called 'Sports From Hell, My Two-year Search for the World's Dumbest Competition'. It's the account of his three-year search for the dumbest sport in the world." [ESPN, h/t Jordan]...

The Ravens Have a Wide Receiver? Yes. The Ravens Have a Wide Receiver.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Today In <em>SportsCenter</em> Fashion: Hannah's Demure, But What Is That On Josh Elliott's Neck?
In which we examine the occasionally controversial wardrobe choices on everyone's favorite morning serial. In this installment, Hannah Storm and Josh Elliott....

Falcons Player Lawyers-Up Against Websites That Claim He Used To Boink A Dude
Ovie Mughelli of the Atlanta Falcons hired an attorney to cease-and-desist websites that linked to an interview MissJia.com had with a man who claimed to have had an intense sexual relationship with the fullback over many years....

The Alleged Homosexuality Of An Atlanta Falcons Player And Other Related Matters (UPDATE)
So most of today was spent talking on the phone to homosexuals or about homosexual activities. This is not a new Wednesday feature. However, when the sports world sashays in this direction, it's our duty to accompany it....

Nope, Kazaam Isn't Any Better In 3D
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Why Latest Tiger Madam Could Be Full of Crap: The Manning Files
So for tonight's Eagles/Giants showdown, I figured this would be the best time to drop this snippet of scurrilous rumor courtesy of that opportunistic madam, Michelle Braun, who keeps insisting some of Tiger's mistresses are whores from her agency....

Searching For....The Person Who Stole Grady Sizemore's Coffee Cup-Penis Photos From His Computer
Because Mr. Sizemore has requested an MLB detective help find the culprit. I'd check here and here, first, but it appears a Sizemore stalker still roams the internets. Be on high alert. Probably for this lady....

Michelle Wie's Life Is No Longer Worthless
It's about freakin' time that 20-year-old Michelle Wie won a real golf tournament, a two-stroke win in the Lorena Ochoa Invitational. Now maybe she'll give up this silly dream and finally enroll in dental school. [Honolulu Advertiser]...

Searching For..."I LIV 4 THIS" Woman
Really. Thanks to one reader's wife who became Facebook friends with this happy "e"-less female Yankee fan last night, she's actually been found and identified. America, meet Amy W. AKA "I LIV 4 THIS" woman....

Book From Hell
So, by the looks of it, Rick Reilly®'s new book promises to be a thoroughly dignified affair that won't in any way represent another sad step in a once-great sportswriter's descent into self-parody and studied wackiness. That much is evident....

The Prep School Piggy-Back Bandit Terrorizes Washington (UPDATE #2)
The developmentally disabled are a funny sort. Some can count dropped toothpicks and love The People's Court (those are fictional). Others are obsessed with mounting high school athletes....

Does Miguel Cabrera Need a Valtrex Prescription?
Wow, that's a grody canker, isn't it? Anyway, Michigan and Notre Dame are still battling it out and USC and Ohio State comes later, so consider this your open thread. And oh, I have a fun story for y'all!...

Let's Roll Some Sports Talk About Sports!
Oh hello. I am Choire Sicha, your 9/11 guest blogger, coming to you from lower Manhattan. Make of that what you will....

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: "The Sure Thing"
Today's excerpt is from Eric Adelson's book about prodigious lady golfer Michelle Wie, "The Sure Thing: The Making And Unmaking Of A Golf Phenom." Buy it here. And, of course, Mr. Adelson will field your inappropriate questions in the comments....