hi Page 1878 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Congratulations, Chicago Prepubescent Bears
What happens when Lou Piniella has nothing else to yell about? Does he grumble that the champagne isn't Korbel? If it is Korbel, does he kvetch that it's not another brand name bubbly? Does he still find some way to throw his hat and choke a child? We may never know the answer, because we're too laz...

Your National League Clusterphooey
All due respect to the playoffs next week, but we can't fathom a much more exciting turkeyshoot than the National League this weekend. We're three days away from the end of the season, and not a single team has clinched, with seven still in the chase. It's insane....

Show 'Em Your O-Face, Brian
We hope you're excited, Bears fans; as The Sports Hernia points out, You now have Bill Lumbergh as your starting quarterback. Yeah ... we're gonna go ahead and have you play on New Years Eve this year, Rex ......

Who Will Be The Next Athlete To Have A Kinky Sex Fetish Revealed?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Our (Brief) Interview With Gilbert Arenas
Yesterday, on invitation from the fine folks at EA Sports, we talked to Wizards zuperstar Gilbert Arenas at the NBA Store in Manhattan for exactly seven minutes and 16 seconds. Here's a complete, exact transcript of the interview, which was almost entirely about his blog. We didn't take a picture, b...

Two NL East Ballparks, Exactly Opposite
We were at Shea Stadium last night, wearing our Rick Ankiel jersey, of course, and we noted that we were 100 percent unmolested. We chalk this up partly to the fact that Mets fans are about 60 times nicer to visiting fans than Yankees fans, but mostly, Shea Stadium was a morgue last night. The Cardi...

Free Hope Solo!
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

The Shirt That Never Was
Nothing tickles us pink more than an outdated championship shirt; our favorite is still when Nike had Final Four shirts for every team other than George Mason, the team whose shirts people would actually want....

Reading Phillies Start A Turf War
The Reading Phillies are preparing to replace the playing surface at FirstEnergy Stadium, and of course they're going to remove the old grass as economically as possible: With rock bands and a demolition derby. Hey, the town's only rototiller is rented out that weekend....

R.I.P. Bill Wirtz
They say that no one on their deathbed ever says, "I wish I would have worked more" — other than Jack Donaghy, anyway — but one wonders if, ultimately, former Blackhawks owner Bill Wirtz, who died this morning at the age of 77, would have secretly smiled to learn that the first line in his obit invo...


Looking Fate In The Eye And Scoffing
A Cubs fan sent this picture to us this morning: It's the Cubs World Series tickets, for Games 3 and 4. It's September 26. The Cubs' magic number remains four. And look: Cubs World Series tickets. Their existence mocks the natural order of the universe. And just looking at them is probably making m...

Every Day Is Father's Day For Prince Fielder
If neither the awesome might of the robotic 12-person beer bong nor the motivational power of free rectal exams are enough to help the Brewers catch the Cubs in the NL Central, then perhaps Prince Fielder's red-hot animosity toward his father is. Fielder The Younger hit home runs No. 49 and 50 on Tu...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the lesbian Brady Bunch rumors are shot down ... • MLB: Cubs at Marlins. Division title, come to Papa. [WCIU] • MLB: Padres at Giants. What else could possibly go wrong? [Channel 4 Padres] • Movie: Rocky II. Yo Adrian! I did it! [Versus]...

There's Only One Answer To The Bears' QB Problem
After Sexy Rexy Grossman's third consecutive — or fourth, or fifth, or whatever — horrific appearance last week, Bears fans are screaming for backup Brian Griese. But let's not forget: He's got plenty of baggage himself....

Kansas City Wolf Will Protect This House!
Notice how the guy is enjoying his moment in the sun until confronted by the wolf, at which point he hesitates like a frightened deer, allowing stadium security to mop him up. This is classic wolf hunting technique; the alpha male driving the prey toward the rest of the pack, which then brings it do...

OSU Phenoms Love To Make New Friends
When you're a young, flashy, super phenom freshman quarterback, you have all kinds of opportunities to impress your coaches. You can put it extra time at practice. You can spend your school hours studying game film. You can run extra sprints. The world is at your disposal; you never get a second cha...

Love (And The NL Wild Card) Is A Battlefield
This photo is from Sunday, but it tells you all you need to know about the Padres right now. Milton Bradley being helped off the field, his season ended due to injury after a run-in with an umpire. San Diego had already lost center fielder Mike Cameron to an injury, meaning that two-thirds of their...