hi Page 1906 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Brian Urlacher, Gleefully Handsy
What better way to start off your Friday morning than a Facebook photo of Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher grabbing a boob. A real, natural boob, too!...

Always, Always Be Wearing A Cup. Always.
All right, when a story starts with this lede ......

Beer Barons And Canadian Bloggers Just Can't Seem To Get Along
This man is Frank D'Angelo, a "beer baron" and general Canadian raconteur. He's also, oh, a bit of a dope. After Canadian blogger — bloggers are so cute when they're Canadian — Neate Sager at Out Of Left Field made fun of D'Angelo a few times, the phonetically challenged fellow sent a nasty "seize" ...

Baseball Season Preview: Chicago White Sox
You might remember, from back at the beginning of the NFL season, when we previewed each team by having a writer we liked write about their favorite team....

Slightly Deep Inside The Brain Of Agent Zero
The best piece of writing we've ever read about Wizards space cadet Gilbert Arenas was the famous Wizznutzz psychological profile of Agent Zero, which includes this brilliant factoid: "Gil was at the birth of his daughter! It wasnt a tom cruise scientology "Silent birth" but Gil did put his Halo gam...

Perhaps He Will Someday Be Played By Helen Mirren
As creepy as we find recruiting — "Hey, look, it's a 16-year-old! Let's make him strip to his underwear and sprint for us!" — we do enjoy the wide variety of personalities and segments of humanity the vaster scope of coverage affords us. The more people we meet, the more likely there's going to be s...

Could Mark Cuban Be Taking Over Wrigley?
We're not sure whether Cubs fans should be happy or sad about this — we tend to think that it couldn't hurt! — but Radar Online reports (and they would know) that Mavericks madman Mark Cuban is deadly serious about attempting to buy the on-the-block franchise....

A Sad, Base, Disgusting Poll, And We, Frankly, Are Ashamed Of You
We continue to feel bad for attractive female sideline reporters. They work hard, they travel like crazy, they put in the hours ... and no matter what they do, all they ever receive for their efforts is "ooh, boobies!" It has to be frustrating, and we do our best to rise above it around here....

Hirshey: Too Much Drogba
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Ohio State Helps Billy Packer Celebrate His Birthday
The Buckeyes just downed the Badgers 49-48 after Ron Lewis rejected a last second 12-foot attempt by Wisconsin. This was immediately followed by the fans of the #1 team in the country rushing the court....

Smoot Isn't The Only One Who Misbehaves On Boats
Gerald Swindle is known as the G-Man, and he likes rock 'n roll music (I'm guessing from his website) and catchin' fish. That's him crying in the picture. He's crying because he's a huge dick....

Today In The Premiership...
• Fulham 1-2 Manchester United. They exchanged first half goals, Ryan Giggs in 29th minute for United, and Brian McBride in the 17th for Fulham (America, fuck yeah), and played the next 58 minutes at a 1-1 tie. But in the 88th minute, Cristiano Ronaldo felt very pretty and scored her 15th goal of th...

... Or, As The NHL Calls It, 'Thursday'
For those who like their NHL violence varied and wanton, we present Thursday's Ottawa at Buffalo matchup, which makes the Spanish Inquisition look like a tickle fight. The Sabres' 6-5 OT win featured 100 total penalty minutes, with eight penalties for fighting, four for hooking, two for instigating ...

These Guys Obviously Would Make Great Friends
With apologies to J.E. Skeets ......

The Last Night Of The Chief
Last night, as tons of teary-eyed Central Illinoisians will tell you this morning, was the final dance of Chief Illiniwek, the skipping, painted white-guy-dressed-up-as-Injun who has "performed" at halftime of our alma mater's sporting events for the last 80 years or so. Like most alums — or at leas...

Welcome, New York City Nerds
Anyone hanging around the New York City area this evening and in desperate need of some sort of mental machismo challenge is heretofore invited to come by NYC Sports Trivia Night (officially called "The Jeffrey Leonard Invitational," proving we had nothing to do with its naming). You won't be able t...

We're So Sorry, Uncle Albert
Look, we're still a little unclear on why the University of Florida's mascot statue, Albert the Alligator, was placed on the Ohio State campus recently (some kind of a Nike promotion or something). All we know is that it took more than five hours for students there to destroy it, which is simply una...

Hirshey: Karaoke Hell
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Gilbert Arenas Is Playing Russian Roulette With His ACL
As always, the greatest moments of All-Star Weekend happen when the "game" isn't actually on, and The 700 Level found perhaps the best one. During a commercial break, Gilbert Arenas — of course — decided to satisfy a lifelong curiosity and, playing along with the "entertainment," dunked off a trampo...

Karaoke Does Not Bring Liverpool Teammates Together
According to this story (swiped from The Sports Frog), John Arne Riise and Craig Bellamy, teammates at Liverpool, were out with a bunch of teammates last night, having fun at a karaoke bar. Reese's agent, Jan Kvalheim, says the story went a little bit like this:...