hi Page 1907 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Peterson Breaks Rushing Record, Transubstantiates
Forget about rookie records, Adrian Peterson is going after bigger game. It's taken Minnesota's first-year wunderkind a mere eight attempts to break the NFL's record for rushing in a game. The 296 yard eruption led the Vikings to a 35-17 flattening of the San Diego Chargers and put Peterson over the...
Championship Team Takes 13-7 Halftime Lead Over Legendary Team
Marvin Harrison isn't playing in the game, which my keen awareness picked up on sometime in the first quarter. So the backup No. 1 wide receiver for the Colts happens to be Joseph Addai, I guess. He has 107 yards receiving on top of his usual job of 80 yards rushing. He's also filling in for three b...
Bulls Distracted By Trade Rumors, Other Team's Basketball Ability
• YiHarmony — Well, it certainly doesn't look like Yi Jianlian figured out how not to foul people during games. The waist-high kick is frowned upon, I'd imagine, no matter how high the wall is around your country. But he was only whistled for three fouls in 33 minutes, which enabled him to score a r...
While at a Denver-area restaurant, John Elway was cut off from alcohol after the restaurant manager claimed he tried to order his eighth glass of wine. Even if he had seven glasses, he still would have been able to legally drive at least 98 yards on streets in the Cleveland area. [Rocky Mountain New...
Big Ten Network Airs Another Mind-Dissolving Upset (So Nobody Saw It)
Well it's about damn time a Big Ten favorite loses their first game of the season to a championship-caliber team from a smaller division. Grand Valley State, who made it to last year's Division II Elite Eight round (only to lose on a buzzer-beater), took an exhibition game way too seriously and won ...
If The Pumpkin's Rockin', Don't Bother Knockin'
When Kige Ramsey first began doing his commentaries for "YouTube Sports," I never guessed that he would ultimately meet his end due to auto-erotic asphyxiation. This is absolutely the worst snuff film ever made....
Andy Reid's Son's a Determined, Resourceful Junkie
Yesterday, in a small Montgomery County courtroom in a sleepy little ghetto-posing-as-the-suburbs called Norristown, Garrett Reid, 24-year-old son of Eagles' coach Andy Reid was sentenced to up to 23 months in jail stemming from his heroin-dazed car accident last January. In a revelatory moment, unf...
Please Come Grace The Dolphins With Your Star Wattage
This story is from last week, but we somehow missed it, probably because we were so distracted by the Jason Taylor Robot that's intent on enslaving all our women. Turns out, the Dolphins, who are off to somewhat of a slow start, are paying celebrities to come to their games. Well, they're trying to....
High School Football: Gayer Than Gay?
This isn't easy to say so we're just going to say it: According to a new survey, one third of former high school football players have had sexual relations with other men. That's according to a new study to be published in the Journal of Sex Roles, which I totally just read by accident, and that's t...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you read Scott Boras' neatly-typed apology letter, which may or may not be sincere ... • NBA: Portland at San Antonio; Houston at Los Angeles Lakers. Charles Barkley is back! Did you miss him? [TNT] • NHL: Pittsburgh at Minnesota. Try to control your Penguin Lust. [Versus] • Boxing:...
Ricky Williams Will Meditate With You
In case you were wondering how Ricky Williams is keeping himself busy these days, he is of course indulging his true passion. No, not that passion: The other one....
Penn State Fans Aren't Particularly Sportsmanlike
Generally speaking, we enjoy a good harmless scrum among rival fans, but ... this would seem to cross the line considerably. How far past the line? A Michigan blog is appalled by this. And why wouldn't he be? Any normal human would be....
No Longer Will Your Finger Jousting Competitions Be Lawless
We've talked to you about the great sport of finger jousting before, but we are proud to report that the World Finger Jousting Federation has come up with an official set of rules. They're quite helpful....
Somewhere, There Are Some Japanese Restaurant Investors Wondering Where They Went Wrong
We like the idea of a major league manager named "Trey." It seems like an oddly informal name for a manager: We imagine them all having grizzled old-guy names, like Whitey, or Miller. But new Royals manager Trey Hillman is fresh off years with the Nippon Ham Fighters, and he's got, like, a new attit...
Others Must Fail
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. I can't remember whether it was Gore Vidal or Big Daddy Drew who first uttered the line, "it's not enough to succeed, others must fail." I can't even remember who he was referring to, but I like to imagine it was my Spurs friend Relegation Zo...
One More Time To Kill the Pain
Well here we are, staring at what's likely to be the final game of the 2007 Major League Baseball season. If Leitch were here he'd probably be inconsolable, but I think I'm handling it just fine. After the marathon regular season the post season has been unremarkable at best. I'm ready for next year...
Luis Castillo Is On That "Stuff" Again
In China they say that a hippopotamus in your swimming pool is a sign of good fortune and virility*. In San Diego it means that the poor big bastard needed to soak his shit out. Seriously, those wildfires will dry out your skin before you know it....