hi Page 1924 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Steelers Ruin Dolphins' Quest For Undefeated Season
The good news, Pittsburgh fans, is that you've won your opener 28-17 over the Miami Dolphins, behind three touchdown passes from Charlie Batch (!!!???) and an interception return for a touchdown from Joey Porter, who celebrated by setting the goalposts on fire and then eating them....
It's About Damned Time Charlie Batch Got Some National TV Exposure
You know the NFL season is upon us when Charlie Batch fastens his chinstrap and storms onto the field. It's really what the league's all about, no?...
NFL Pants Party: NFC East
People are saying that this division is so stacked that it's a pity someone has to finish last. We say think it's a pity someone has to finish first....
Shuler Dangerously Close To Returning To Washington
So remember how former Redskins "quarterback" Heath Shuler is running for Congress? Well, it turns out, he actually is making serious gains in the polls, to the point that he's one of Democrats' key hopefuls for their attempt to take over the House of Representatives in the November elections....
NFL Pants Party: NFC North
We do the riverdance, a manly dance, through the NFC North, land of paternity suits, custody issues, nude assistant coaches, Brett Favre and, of course, sex boats....
NFL Pants Party: AFC West
This is the AFC West. This is not like the AFC North. You might have noticed this earlier. This is where they play in different time zones than the one in which we live. Whew. All irrefutable facts....
"Justify The Size Of Your Head, Sir"
We were particularly amused this afternoon by this clever piece on McSweeney's, otherwise known as "the Web site for those who don't actually have time to finish anything but can still call themselves a writer by getting a sestina about 'Survivor' published." (We kid McSweeney's; we love McSweeney's...
NFL Pants Party: AFC East
Personally, we think the AFC East would be a lot more fun to make predictions for if Troy Brown had to play quarterback for the Patriots every game. Oh, and is Culpepper organizing the rookie party for the Dolphins this year?...
NFL Season Preview: Kansas City Chiefs
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...
The Daily Closer: Red Pinstripes In Morning, NL Take Warning
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Hugh Johnson Project - Update 2
Lee Corso's grandson appears to hate him. He had his grandson with him at the end when he did his picks. And he was trying to get him to say "hi" and wave (the kid is probably 6). And the kid looked miserable. Corso had to grab his arm and make it wave. - Josh...
NFL Season Preview: Chicago Bears
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...
Things That PETA Is Better Off Not Knowing About, No. 112
If you're like us, you frequently ask yourselves, "where can I find top, reliable donkeys for my donkey sporting event?" Fortunately we found Donkey Sports, Inc., and our troubles are over. For the finest in Donkey Softball and Donkey Basketball events, we highly recommend this company....
NFL Season Preview: Miami Dolphins
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...
Fired Up In Buckeye Land
We're still a week and a half away from the second consecutive Jeez, Is It This Important Already? Bowl between Ohio State and Texas, but, as you would probably expect, they're appropriately fired up in the Columbus area....
Planning For That Sad Time When Barbaro Leaves Us
If there's one thing we know, it's that life is short. But thanks to our new friends at Heavenly Images.com, no loved one ever has to leave us entirely. For a small fee, Heavenly Images will keep them with you forever, in a custom painting, hanging out with Jesus in the clouds. We couldn't really th...
U.S. Advances Once Again: Bring On The Greeks!
In a game we actually got up to watch for you this morning, the United States coasted into the semifinals of the World Basketball Championships by scooting past Germany 85-65 in Japan. We hope you actually were near an ESPN2 at the time, because, like all week, FIBA's Web site wasn't working, even s...
NFL Season Preview: Philadelphia Eagles
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...
Finally, Daniel Snyder Finds A Colleague Shorter Than He Is
So you know how Tom Cruise — he's an actor, been in a few movies, kind of squirrely, if you ask us — got fired by his studio recently and said he would find an independent financier for his future projects....
Hirshey: Arsenal's Impotence
David Hirshey writes about the English Premier League for Deadspin....