hi Page 1943 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Purple Paladins and Mountaineers
While killing time until the Duke/Texas tip, I'm checking out a little 1-AA football action. We've got the Furman Purple Paladins against the Appalachian St. Mountaineers. In situations such as this one, it's often difficult to find a rooting interest. But I used to work with a girl who went to Ap...

Bro Sweets Will Juice You Up
Clinton Portis was back yesterday with yet another fractured segment of his personality, this one somewhat sweeter than the past ones, literally even. We proudly introduce "Bro Sweets," Clinton's most recent tortured mental sliver....

Can Batman Hit The Curve?
No wonder there's so much violence and mayhem in the world today — all of our best superheroes seem to be goofing off. This classic comic book cover does, however, bring to mind the question we've all been pondering since childhood: can Batman hit the curve? And how long will the Boy Wonder last b...

Not Even Playmates Can Watch The Eagles
It is not a fun time to be a Philadelphia Eagles fan, a fact that has been recognized by the fine folks at the Philadelphia Eagles "Blog Squad." How ever to juice up assuredly sagging Sitemeter rankings?...

We're Sure Bud Selig Is Very Depressed Now
We're always wary of people who are obsessed with Google-bombing — the practice of making sure when you search for, say, "Tom Brady" on Google, you get a link to something like Mexican goat-fisting, or whatever — but some disgruntled Washington, D.C. residents have decided to go after MLB commissi...

Portis Becomes Depressingly Self-Questioning
Ladies and gentleman, we present to you, after a one-week hiatus for Thanksgiving, Redskins running back Clinton Portis' newest creation: "Reverend Gonna Change," with those pretty crazy teeth and hair and the whole thing. On our scale, this ranks above "Dollah Bill" but behind "Dr. I-Don't-Know."...

Beleaguered "NFL Countdown" Closed Captioning Typists Get One-Week Reprieve
We were on a very slow-moving piece of public transportation and therefore are just hitting the late news: Michael Irvin has been suspended for one week following his arrest last Friday for having a "pipe" in his car. This is only two days after handsomely named ESPN exec Norby Williamson said "Ri...

Who's Your Favorite Sportswriter's Binkie?
Inspired by a comment in this morning's story about Jason Whitlock and his rips on Michael Irvin, a commenter named Mr. Poon — who runs this site — pointed out something curious about Whitlock. Namely, that Whitlock, in pinch, will fall back on his blind spot; his odd belief that Jeff George (a hi...

Orton: To Beard, Or Not To Beard
One would think Chicago Bears fans wouldn't want to mess with a seven-game win streak, but, then again, Bears quarterback Kyle Orton is looking pretty ridiculous this days....

Athlete Run-Ins: Ben Gordon, Iron Chef
Today's first athlete run-in story touches on something we've always wondered about athletes: Do any of them have any idea how to cook? (We wonder odd things sometimes.) From Brian, a former University of Connecticut student and occassional acquaintance of current Chicago Bull Ben Gordon:...

Well, Their Mascot IS A Pirate
From the Marine League in the Los Angeles City Section comes this report: A San Pedro High School assistant football coach has been suspended for one year after being caught on video moving a field marker to help his team acquire a first down. "That was a pretty blatant act," San Pedro High Princ...

Whitlock Roasts Himself, But Mostly Roasts Irvin
Fascinating column this week from The Kansas City Star's Jason Whitlock, who, of course, is well-known to most by his frequent appearances on ESPN, television, online and otherwise. While discussing an apparent "roast" planned for him in the Kansas City area (featuring potshots from Tony Kornheise...

Solich Party Photos!
In case you were wondering if Ohio coach Frank Solich's drunk driving arrest incident was an entirely isolated incident, here's some photos of the coach chilling at an Ohio bar with some students, posing, having some fun. Anyone, of course, should feel free to go out and have some drinks. But som...

Things To Do In Phoenix When You're Drinking
Phoenix, Ariz. Home of The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. Birthplace of Barry Bonds. Spot for an unusually high number of UFO Sightings....

More On The Mommie Dearest Sprinter
More info on the guy who ran on the field Sunday to spread his mother's ashes on Lincoln Financial Field, thanks to the suddenly sports-huge folks at The Smoking Gun. Turns out his name is Christopher Noteboom, also known as "Chip," and he cuts a mean mugshot....

For The Football Fan On The Go
From the Good Ole American Opportunism Department comes a rather awesome tale in Tampa: 10 people were arrested for operating a mobile strip club outside the Bears-Buccaneers game last week. The young capitalists actually promoted the "moving poles" with flyers and other promotional material....

Sleepless In Athens, Ohio
You wake up to the light in your eyes. Blinking, you try to adjust. The man with the light is very authoritative, and more than a little pissed. You must have been asleep for a while. Jesus, what time is it?...

Paying Tribute To Dear Old Ma
At last, a fan running on the field story everyone can get behind. During the Eagles game yesterday, an unidentified fan sprinted onto Lincoln Financial Field to spread the ashes of his dead mother onto the grass. Apparently, this is because he liked his mother, rather than vice versa....

NFL Roundup: Fore!
• Honestly, what more can you say about Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson? This will almost certainly be a poll later this week, but his "putt the football with the pilon followed by a Tiger Woods fist pump" was, once again, completely inspired. (All it was missing was an awkward high five.) If t...

A T.O And Rosenhaus Thanksgiving
Every wonder what a Terrell Owens-Drew Rosenhaus Thanksgiving might have been like? Blogger The Mighty MJD has, and, in what has to be a sports blog first, actually writes short story about it. It's just Owens and Rosenhaus, alone in a room, each silent in their thoughts as they watch Jeff Garcia ...