hi Page 786 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mario Balotelli Scores Wonderful Goal, Talks Shit About Referees
When last we heard from our favorite mohawked madman, Mario Balotelli, it right about this time last year as he came to the close of what turned out to be an unexpectedly impressive but still quintessentially Balotellian inaugural season with Nice in France. We are delighted to inform you that since...
White Sox Pitcher Danny Farquhar Is Home From The Hospital<em></em>
Over two weeks after he collapsed in the dugout during a game, White Sox relief pitcher Danny Farquhar has been discharged from the hospital and returned home, according to a statement released by the team today. Farquhar had suffered a brain hemorrhage from a ruptured aneurysm on April 20, after h...
Rafael Nadal Catches Shit For Supporting Rival Soccer Clubs
Rafael Nadal is roughly midway through his clay-court rampage, having lengthened his consecutive set streak to a record 46, and just had some time off between tournaments in Barcelona and Madrid. He spent some of that precious downtime watching soccer, which he loves deeply....
MMA Fighter Ends Main Event In Nine Seconds With One-Punch Knockout
Kyoji Horiguchi and Ian McCall headlined this weekend’s Rizin 10 in Fukuoka, Japan, and the two former UFC flyweight contenders put on a highlight-dense fight, in that there was one highlight and it took up the entire fight. Horiguchi unhooked McCall’s jaw in five seconds on the first punch he threw...
You Check Ben Simmons The Same Way You Defend A Campsite
When I look at Philadelphia 76ers guard Ben Simmons, I see a very tall and extremely talented young basketball player with a resting dick face and no jump shot. When Boston Celtics coach Brad Stevens looks at him, he sees a curious foraging bear. For this reason, he is a basketball coaching genius....
The Double Nutshot Match Ending, As Called By WWE Announcers In 9 Languages
Last night, A.J. Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura wrestled in a singles match for the WWE championship for the third time in less than a month. They are two of the best wrestlers in WWE and their match work over the last few years puts them among the best wrestlers in the world....
Max Scherzer Is A Fire-Breathing Dragon
The marquee pitching matchup of the day had former Cy Young winners Max Scherzer and Jake Arrieta pitching the rubber match of the Phillies-Nationals series. Arrieta was fine—he allowed a run on two hits and two walks in six innings—but Mad Max was downright historic:...
Pedro Florimon Ruins The Nationals With Slick Glove Fake-Out
Phillies starter Vince Velasquez and four relievers held a banged-up and disappointing Nationals lineup to just two hits in Saturday’s 3-1 Phillies victory. The Nats engineered eight walks in the game, but left eight runners on base and were 0-3 with runners in scoring position. They did, however, p...
GGG Is Back To Obliterating His Opponents
Gennady Golovkin destroyed Vanes Martirosyan tonight in California, knocking out the Armenian-American in the second round and leading us all to wonder if anyone will ever beat the Kazakh superstar....
Cleveland Takes 3-0 Series Lead On LeBron James Buzzer-Beater
The late NBA heartbreaks continued tonight in Cleveland as LeBron James gave the Cavaliers a 3-0 series lead with a buzzer-beater that downed Toronto just after the Raptors’ OG Anunoby hit a three-pointer to tie the game with eight seconds remaining....
Celtics Take 3-0 Series Lead After Sixers Choke Repeatedly
It’s not that the Sixers are dumb. They’re not. They are, in fact, quite tough and disciplined. But it is also true that their best players are children, and they are playing a series against one of the very sharpest, most wisely and meticulously coached NBA teams you will ever see. And the conseque...
Marco Belinelli<em></em> Buzzer-Beater Extends Game Three After Sixers Nearly Throw Season Away
Marco Belinelli’s fade-away buzzer-beater forced overtime against the Celtics after a J.J. Redick turnover left the Sixers looking at a 3-0 series deficit before the Italian’s heroics....
Holy Shit, Joel Embiid Dunked Aron Baynes Off The Face Of The Earth
Aron Baynes has to retire now, those are the rules....
Every Force In The Universe Conspires To Cruelly Thwart Golfer's Eagle Approach Shot
You are not going to do a whole lot of mourning for a golfer because he narrowly missed an eagle—first of all it’s golf, and second of all, you tap in for birdie a shot later and that’s about the best anyone can realistically hope for in this awful world. But this, man, this shot, from Peter Malnati...
Truly The Combined No-Hitter Is the Connoisseur's No-Hitter
Walker Buehler pitched six no-hit innings for the Dodgers Friday night, against the Padres. It took him 93 pitches to get through six; the most he’s thrown in a game this season is 94; 93 pitches is more than twice as many as he threw in any game last season, when he made his MLB debut and eight tot...
Bryce Harper Makes For One Badass Leadoff Hitter
New Nationals manager Dave Martinez moved Bryce Harper to the leadoff spot on May 1, with the Nationals sitting at a disappointing 13-16 on the season and mired in an offensive slump that saw the team produce more than four runs in a game just once over its previous nine games....
Vlad Guerrero Jr. Smacked A Long Dinger And That's Not Even The Best Part Of The Video
Toronto Blue Jays prospect Vlad Guerrero Jr. smacked a massive tater Thursday night that sailed clear out of the stadium in Double-A Binghamton. We’ve seen Vladito hit some major dongs already in his still very young career, but the audio on this particular big fly gives it a little something extra....
Trump Forms Sports Council Featuring Bill Belichick, Lou Ferrigno, And Dr. Oz, For Some Reason
Sports genius Donald Trump has done the inevitable, again. This time, the big lad has put his close personal friend Bill Belichick on an official Presidential council. Shockingly, Belichick will not be in charge of any nuclear weaponry or an actual department of significance, which honestly would ha...
The Celtics Are In Control
In the most basic sense, there’s the 22-point comeback. There’s also the complete disassembling of Ben Simmons and Terry Rozier’s fearlessness and Al Horford’s craft and a whole host of other things that explain how a Boston Celtics team missing both its two best players and a full-strength Jaylen B...
The Time Dave McKenna Accidentally Called 911 On A Guy Just Looking For His Craigslist Date
Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird ways, and had his run-ins with the law. And after selfishly squirreling all his stories away in Slack and our brains for years, we’ve realized we have a societal obligation to share. ...