Old Man Wayne Rooney Adds Ridiculous Free-Kick Goal To MLS Highlight Reel

Former Manchester United star Wayne Rooney’s first season in MLS was already a huge success before last night’s game against Toronto. He came into it with nine goals and seven assists in 18 appearances, and as the owner of one of the best soccer highlights you’ll ever see. In the 18th minute of last night’s game,…

Maybe Paco Alcácer Sold His Soul To The Devil For The Power To Score Whenever He Wants

Though Paco Alcácer’s goal today came when Spain were already down big in their UEFA Nations League match against England, the weight of the scoreline was never going to keep the corners of his mouth from turning upward in delight. Alcácer had stepped over the sideline and into a 3-0 hiding in the 57th minute, and…

James Rodriguez Defies The Laws Of Physics And Ruins Some American Scrubs

A squad of Team USA kids who are mostly less interesting than the American soccer boys who are currently injured—and also this guy who looks just like Michael Bradley oh God wait that’s actually somehow Michael Bradley—is getting wildly overmatched by a World Cup-caliber Colombian team in a Tampa friendly. Thirty-six…