horns Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Texas Tech Beats Texas On Trick Play Touchdown
For the first time since 1997, Texas Tech beat Texas in Austin last night in a 48-45 thriller. The Red Raiders sealed the deal with this rather clever bit of misdirection and running by Jakeem Grant, who has a history of spectacular runs. Coach Kliff Kingsbury said last night that the play is called...
Sad Jeb Bush Is Just Sitting Up At Night, Waiting To Chat About Football With You
Jeb Bush, the former frontrunner for the Republican Presidential nomination, may have finally hit rock bottom. Fresh off his piss-baby performance at the last debate, Jeb has now transformed into your sad uncle who just wishes that he heard from the kids more often....
Steer Dead
Bevo XIV, the Texas Longhorns’ mascot, died today. He was 13....
Texas Avenges Their Sick Bovine Mascot, Shocks Oklahoma
The run-in to this week’s rivalry game against Oklahoma did not go well for Texas. First, Charlie Strong called social media “the downfall of society” in response to Kris Boyd tweeting about transferring during halftime. Then, his team kind of proved him right and got into some public squabbling abo...
Texas Rangers Fire Social Media Staffer Who Tweeted “Fire Charlie” (UPDATE)
And less than an hour later:...
Texas Player Tweets About Transferring During Halftime Of Blowout
TCU is currently sleepwalking through the second half of a seismic blowout over Texas in Fort Worth. Texas, despite almost scoring an upset against Oklahoma State last weekend, is at a true low point. It’s not entirely (or even mostly) coach Charlie Strong’s fault, but he is feeling the heat after a...
Texas Linebacker Stricken With Sudden, Timely Bout Of Wefuckedupitis
When in doubt, pretend you’re injured. That’s how Edwin Freeman avoided being caught offside by Cal after the Longhorns linebacker started to head toward the sidelines with the Bears lined up to snap the ball on second-and-goal. Per NCAA rules, Texas burned a timeout for the injury anyway; with the ...
A Goalie Goal For The Portland Thorns!
Even with most of the league’s star players busy with that little event in Canada right now, the NWSL has continued unabated. In German keeper Nadine Angerer’s absence, Michelle Betos has stepped up for the Portland Thorns, saving goals and even scoring the tying one herself deep into stoppage time ...
University Of Texas Investigating Allegations Of Academic Fraud
The University of Texas at Austin has hired an independent investigator following allegations of academic fraud within the men’s basketball program. The allegations were brought to light in an article published in the Chronicle of Higher Education last Wednesday. ...
"Amazing Grace" Played By Airhorns Is Our New National Anthem, Breh
Please, a moment of extreme silence to honor America and our Lord, for here is “Amazing Grace” played by a choir of airhorns. Hats off, hands on your hearts. Please direct your local place of worship to add this to the docket this Sunday, as it is both religious and our new national anthem. I litera...
Reports: Shaka Smart Is Leaving VCU For Texas
According to numerous reports, what has been rumored for days has come true: Shaka Smart is leaving VCU to become the University of Texas’s next head basketball coach. ...
The Selection Committee Loves Brand-Name Schools
Every NCAA Tournament has its snubs, its questionable inclusions, and baffling seedings. But few seasons have produced so clear a narrative as this one has: it's very, very good to have name recognition....
Party On, Longhorn
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Seven Players Ejected As Texas Knocks Off Baylor
Texas just topped 14th ranked Baylor to bolster its NCAA tournament hopes, but not without some (threatened) fisticuffs. With two minutes left in overtime, Baylor's Royce O'Neale* and Texas's Isaiah Taylor dove for a loose ball. O'Neale—accidentally, it looks like—elbowed Taylor, prompting the ben...
Train Horns That Keep Me And My Wife Awake At Night, Ranked
My wife and I recently moved to a house in the Dunbar/Spring neighborhood of Tucson, Ariz. Because we had never visited the house in the middle of the night, we didn't realize quite how loud the freight-train horns were. We have adjusted, in part with the help of earplugs. (To spoil another potentia...
Lou Reed Had Some Pretty Great Videos In The '80s
Better than Debbie Harry, I guess....
Texas Clobbering Oklahoma, Trailing By 4
When you have 14 first downs to your opponent's one, and 278 total yards to your opponent's 29, you might expect to have a lead. But then again, you might not be the 2014 edition of the Texas Longhorns....
