horse Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Calvin Borel Starts Fistfight In Breeders' Cup Winner's Circle
Borel, angry about fellow jockey Javier Castellano's actions during the Breeders' Cup Marathon, went after him post-race with fists-a-flying....

Last Night's Winner: The Zenyatta Bubble
Zenyatta, the undefeated 6-year-old mare who's getting the sort of soft-focus-and-tinkly-piano treatment we generally reserve for plucky little Olympic gymnasts and Bob Costas, is an 8-to-5 favorite in tomorrow's Breeders' Cup Classic, horse racing's true signature event. Bet against....

The Greatest Racehorse You're Not Celebrating
Win or lose, Zenyatta will retire after Saturday's Breeders' Cup Classic. Win, and she finishes her career without having ever lost. And she'll be even money by post time. Is there some horse sexism at work here?...

Kenny Mayne "Prefers Fornicating Horses," ESPN.com Informs
An amusing double-entendre about Kenny Mayne! Bring me the finest meats and cheeses!...

Horse Groomer Accuses Of "Grooming" Horse's Naughty Bits
A handler at Illinois's Arlington Park is accused of fondling one of the horses. If that didn't get it to run, I'm not sure I'd back it in the sixth. [Sun-Times]...

10 Important Lessons To Take From Football Sex Scandals
It's enormously important for the moral growth of the nation that everyone reflects on the recent sex scandals—perhaps look long and hard into a nearby mirror and think about what you have gained from these tawdry goings-on?...

Deadspin Classic: Letters To Barbaro
Originally published May 25, 2006...

Florida Man Has Scarred Elderly Couple For Life Because He Keeps Fucking Their Horses
Best line from this fascinating news report via WCTV comes courtesy of Priscilla McDearmid: "I don't even like to have the dog out at night lately because we don't know if that man is standing over there in the corner somewhere watching."...

Celtics-Lakers Has Competitive Greatness Coming Out The Ass
Quietly, perhaps in a brief moment when floppy Derek Fisher wasn't butoh dancing for the refs, Celtics-Lakers became everything anyone could want in a basketball series....

Drosselmeyer Wins The Belmont Stakes
Yes, it only lasts two-and-a-half minutes, but that's what makes it such an ideal candidate for real-time updating! I'll only be writing about the race itself, so we'll be out of here in no time....

Horse Race Announcer Yells Himself ... Hoarse
Jim Jacques had a little bit of trouble calling this harness race in South Australia over the weekend. The yelling may not have been up to par, but his impression of a asthmatic tracheotomy patient is spot-on. [TabloidProdigy]...

Preakness Infield Exposé: I See The Blush Upon Thy Ass Cheeks, Maryland!
On Saturday, photographer Andrew Snow and writer Alan Siegel ventured among the bottoms and bottomless mugs of beer in the Preakness infield. Their report and a gallery, after the jump....

Don't Forget to Send In Your Photos and Videos of Preakness Debauchery
Unlimited drinks for $20 means, at the very least, someone's got a picture of a jockey being tossed around like a beach ball against his fiery little will....

Today Is The Preakness, So Send Us Your Photographic Evidence of $20 Debauchery
You know, the usual: Port-a-potty runs, fistfights, "Show. Your. Tits!"-chants, vomiting girls, litter, men running on to the track attempting to cold-cock horses mid-gallop. All that good stuff. Subject: Preakness Mess. And read this excellent story from Triple Canopy....

Last Night's Winner: Off-Track Betting
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like horse racing tracks, which, thanks to some lucky schlub publicly turning nothing into $900,000, should be seeing an influx of fools and their money, soon parted....

The Preakness Promise: You Will Get Hammered On The Infield This Year
After a ban on outside beverages led to a huge drop in attendance last year, officials at Pimlico Racetrack are changing course. Still no outside drinks, but $20 gets you a bottomless mug of beer. This plan has no flaws....

A Horse Is A Horse, Off Course, Off Course
Five horses (well, their jockeys, I suppose) made a wrong turn in a recent race at Newcastle, and were disqualified. Turns out, it was a shortcut to the glue factory. [BBC]...

Stories That Don't Suck: Death On The Track, Ebert's Silence, NASCAR's Backlash Ethos, Bubba In Love
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Watch Junior Seau Castrate A Horse With His Hand
Seau prepares for retired life by squishing horse balls on his "Sports Job" television show. It's as gross as you'd expect. I guess it's technically safe for work because, for some reason, they blurred out the poor horse's testicles. [Versus]...

'Double Crown' Just Doesn't Have The Same Ring To It
The New York Racing Association says it's running low on cash, and might have to close their three tracks. That would mean no Belmont Park. And that would mean no Belmont Stakes....