houston-astros Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Astros' Manager Incentivizes His Players By Awarding A $200 Set Of Headphones After Every Win
We've made a lot of fun of the Astros recently. Just this morning, even. (Hey, at least we're paying attention.) But the joke of a roster they field and joke of a style they play likely leads you to mistaken assumptions. It probably makes you think the Astros aren't a first-class organization devote...
The Astros Are Now Hurting Other People With Their Ineptitude
At first, we found the Houston Astros' nightly slapstick routine to be rather endearing, and it was easy to have laugh at their repeated shenanigans. But then, through no fault but their own, the Astros couldn't even run out simple ground balls without one of their own getting hurt....
1,100 Households Watched The Astros Game On Sunday, The Team's Worst TV Rating Ever
The weekend Nielsens are in, and Houstonians are apparently enjoying the last of the summer. Nearly half-a-million households, or 44 percent of TVs in use, were tuned in to the Texans' boring win over the Dolphins. That's not great—worse than all but four games last year. But it's gangbusters compar...
Roger Clemens And The Astros Are Entangled In A Slow, Depressing Dance
We've posted on and on about how Sugar Land Skeeters ace Roger Clemens may be conspiring with the 44-97 Houston Astros to tweak his Hall of Fame chances. Today the Associated Press has given us a bombshell story—bombshell as in, the charred debris that remains after a horrendous event—about the Astr...
The Pirates Are Still Putting Fans To Sleep
Fans at PNC Park began the season by falling asleep, but then the Pirates provided enough of a jolt to keep folks interested into September. And while they're still just two and a half games out of the wild card, the Buccos have lost 10 of 13, including a sweep at Milwaukee over the weekend that ble...
Astros Player Suffers The Most Astros Injury Ever
Yes, that's Astros shortstop Marwin Gonzalez flying over first base for no apparent reason last night. As you can see in the video below, Gonzalez lunged to try to beat out a grounder, but he planted his left foot just in front of the bag, which suddenly propelled him skyward for a moment. And look ...
The Houston Astros Are Just The Worst
Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you. By now you shoulda somehow realized what you gotta do. I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now....
Astros Owner Open To Signing Roger Clemens, But Doesn't Want It To Be A "Publicity Stunt"
You have to give the Astros credit. If they're going to go through with this Roger Clemens cahoots-laden charade, they're going to try and squeeze every last revenue dollar out of it....
The Baseball Hall Of Fame Probably Wouldn't Change The Rules If Roger Clemens Pitched A Meaningless Game This Year
Yesterday we half-floated a conspiracy theory that Roger Clemens's impending comeback with the Sugar Land Skeeters was a sneaky ploy to reappear in a major league game for the woeful Astros so that he might push his first hall of fame ballot appearance back five years, to 2017. So we reached out to ...
Roger Clemens And The Astros Might Just Be In Cahoots
The Astros have a lot of problems. Have you seen the lineup they're running out there every night? It's Jose Altuve, Brett Wallace, and then a lot of quadruple-A players with no business sniffing a big-league starting lineup. Need Justin Maxwell? Astros got him. Need Scott Moore? He's a 'Stro. Wonde...
The Houston Astros Tossed A Band-Aid Into A Flowing River Of Blood
Manager Brad Mills was fired last night. No longer shall he be burdened with holding the rudder of the one-player-currently-making-more-than-$750,000-Houston Astros. The team announced the move via email last night, following a particularly Houston Astro-ish loss to the Diamondbacks. Houston also se...
Roger Bernadina Pulls Off The Season's Most Dramatic Game-Ending Catch
How much more heartache can Astros fans take? Finally, a game in which they were actually competitive and didn't give away the winning run while Benny Hill music seemingly played in the background. No, the Astros suffered a hard-luck loss tonight, putting the winning run on first base in the 12th in...
The Nationals Bunted In The Winning Run From First Because The Astros Played Defense Like Morons
I had to watch the video below twice just to make sense of how mind-bogglingly terrible the Astros were on this play. After Roger Bernadina led off the 11th with a single, the Nats were simply hoping to have Kurt Suzuki bunt him over to second. But that's when the Astros went to work, and just look ...
San Francisco Giants Almost Give Game Away In One Of The Worst Ways Imaginable
It's the bottom top of the ninth, and San Francisco is protecting a 2-1 lead over the Astros. Two out, 1-2 count, man on second. The Giants' Santiago Casilla gets Chris Snyder to swing and miss. Ballga—woops! The ball got away from Hector Sanchez and so he quickly airmails it to first base, pulling...
Did An ESPN Anchor Need To Apologize For An Astros "Trailer Park Day" Joke?
Car seats are used to safely secure children inside of automobiles. They are not baseball gloves and should not be used for such a purpose. When SportsCenter showed the highlight of a Houston Astros fan attempting to utilize such a device for exactly that, an exasperated Bram Weinstein asked, "Is ...
Ron Paul Gets Inducted Into Congressional Baseball Hall Of Fame, Wears Hideous Jersey
We can thank Meredith Shiner, of the Capitol Hill paper of record—Roll Call, for this snapshot of bold decision maker Ron Paul....
Child At Astros Game Catches Foul Ball In Popcorn Bucket
Glove? Who needs a glove? What you see in the video below is proof that it's possible to catch a baseball with butterfingers....
Carlos Lee Couldn't Get To The Ball, So He Tackled An Umpire Instead
Charlie Manuel's profane stare-down with Bob Davidson wasn't the only hilarity involving an umpire during today's Astros-Phillies matinee. Way back in the bottom of the first, Jimmy Rollins led off by bouncing a ball down the line, where it rolled just beyond the reach of Carlos Lee, whose next move...
"Here's Our Resident Nerd, Picking His Nose"
The backlash against advanced statistics in baseball by so-called "purists" can get tiresome, but there's no denying a few of the stereotypes about those dealing in the numbers game sometimes hold true. Here's a shot of Astros Director of Decision Sciences (seriously, that's his job title) Sig Mejd...
Rick Ankiel Threw A Strike From Center Field
Houston's Jordan Schafer had 22 stolen bases last year, so he's not slow. But even he wasn't about to tag up and test the arm of Rick Ankiel, who showed the Astros' prudence to be warranted by hitting the catcher on the fly. Perhaps it wasn't strictly a strike (unless Larry Vanover was working the p...