houston Page 84 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Do Not Draft Domanick Davis, People
Those of you who still haven't done their fantasy football drafts, you might want to pay attention, so you don't make the same mistake we've made, oh, twice already....

NFL Season Preview: Houston Texans
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people paintin...

The Closer: The Fragile Psyche Of Roger Clemens
Notes from a day in baseball:...

The Uniforms That Made Baseball Cry
It was Retro Day at Petco Park on Thursday, which probably doesn't mean much to you if you weren't a baseball fan in the 1970s. But for those who lived through those dark, confusing times, you have our sympathy, and we're sorry you had to relive the horror. We've all seen pictures such as the ones...

Yao Ming's Big, Big Stand
Houston Rockets center Yao Ming doesn't just spend his offseasons taking a stroll or two around the track. He also spends it saving elephants by swatting away bullets heading toward them directly out of the air. See, he's not just tall; he's made of some sort of indestructible material....

Hello, FSN Southwest!
In case anybody out there was wondering who our favorite Fox Sports Net affiliate is ... why, it's Fox Sports Southwest, now that you mention it!...

The Closer: More Fun In The Windy City
Notes from a day in baseball:...

Non-Retired Guy Comes Out Of Non-Retirement To Non-Retire
Our long national nightmare is over: Roger Clemens is back. How did we ever make it so long without him? His "return," obviously, would have a little more resonance if he had, you know, ever left, but whatever. He's back. Playing the Twins. We hope Bat Girl comes up with a Lego version of him....

Roger Clemens! Pitching! It's Like He Never Retired!
Well, it's a big night in Lexington; Roger Clemens is coming to town, to pitch with his son Koby at third base. It's the first of three minor league stints for Roger, all of which, of course, have a definitive financial incentive for Roger Clemens. (The other two games are for teams Clemens partia...

Clemens Decides To Stay In Houston, Yep
Credit Newsday's Ken Davidoff with the big scoop: Roger Clemens is signing with the Houston Astros....

When You're Talking Sex, You're Talking Enron Field
On Sunday, the Houston Astros shutout the Texas Rangers 5-0 in Houston, securing a series win over their in-state rivals. To celebrate, a Houston policeman at the game decided to have sex with two women. Makes sense!...

The Closer: Fear The Awesome Hitting Might Of Mark Mulder
Notes from a day of baseball. • 1. Mulder Gets A Little Raucous During Housewarming Party. When they said that the new Busch Stadium would be a pitcher's ballpark, we didn't know they meant it this way. Cardinals starter Mark Mulder clubbed his first career home run on Monday, right over the new H...

Roger Clemens' Multinational Laundry
Yesterday, perpetual retiree Roger Clemens was in Houston to receive his National League Championship Ring. As usual, Clemens was asked about his plans for this season, whether he'll retire, whether he'll play, who he would play for, so on, ad nauseum. But then the conversation took a bizarre, and...

Your NL Central "Preview"
Our personal favorite division has had a monotonous feel to it the last few years, with the Cardinals and the Astros advancing and meeting in the NLCS two consecutive times. (This, of course, is fine with us.) We also have a feeling that the NL Central is the only division in baseball with three ...

Roger Clemens Retires! Really! (OK, Not Really)
So, here we go: Roger Clemens is retiring again. Probably. Yeah, totally. But who knows?...

Roger Even Throws At Unborn Sons
As an update on the Roger Clemens item from earlier, an eagle-eyed reader points out that this is hardly the first time Roger has not hesitated to give the high hard one (so to speak) to a family member....

Roger Clemens Grounds His Son
We kind of like that final scene in The Natural, where Roy Hobbs is playing catch with his son in a wheat field. But when the subject is Roger Clemens playing baseball with his son, a couple of other films come to mind. • The Great Santini. Dad: Robert Duvall. Son: Michael O'Keefe. Quote: "You go...

Is Baseball's Top Shoulder Doc OK?
Buried in a Houston Chronicle story about Jeff Bagwell's rehab of his right shoulder was this disturbing tidbit:...