When standing over a late, potentially match-winning penalty against top-of-the-table opposition, as Zwolle captain Bram van Polen found himself in yesterday’s game against AZ Alkmaar, the last thing you want your resulting shot attempt to inspire in the crowd is an immediate wave of shocked horror. Just look at all…
Saturday’s Sunderland vs. Millwall match finished 2-2, and all four goals were scored thanks to an array of increasingly mind-boggling goalkeeper boners that almost beggar belief. This is either the worst example of high-level goalkeeping ever, or an impressive display of just how shameless match-fixing can get.
Today is the USMNT’s first game back on the pitch since The Loss. From the ashes of such a debilitating defeat, the young and relatively unheralded group interim manager Dave Sarachan put out to face Portugal had a chance to win back some of the fan base’s faith. Which they did! Until they didn’t.
Kudos to the lowlight reel maker here for backing this hilariously embarrassing moment from Wednesday’s Barcelona-Gintra Women’s Champions League match—which features one sort of big screwup followed by a ginormous one—with an appropriately vaudevillian score. We present: The Three Stoogettes.
The Harkemase Boys, of Holland’s fourth tier, were up 2-0 when Dennis van Duinen made a beautiful run, shook off a defender, beat the keeper, and faced a completely empty net. With glory a heartbeat away, he doinked the ball right over the crossbar.
Hey, shitty teams. A humble request: How about you stop giving up the easiest goals imaginable, making enormous errors in some misguided effort to play “beautiful soccer” and build up play from the back, and instead just lump the ball forward when facing your betters? This scourge must be stopped.
Playing out from the back can be good. It’s great to have a goalkeeper who is good with his feet and comfortable passing the ball around with opponents zipping at him. But this kind of dicking around on the ball and giving it straight to an opponent in literally the worst area of the pitch is unforgivable and deserves…
If walking the Bundesliga, winning the World Cup, and consolidating his place as the world’s very best goalkeeper weren’t enough to win Manuel Neuer the Ballon d’Or in 2014, when he finished third in the voting, then maybe atrocious blunders like this one today by Sven Ulreich, Bayern’s No. 2 keeper who’s played all…
Your first reaction to this video of former Colombia national team striker Teófilo Gutiérrez pulling off one of the worst penalty kicks you’ll ever see will probably be to laugh and laugh and laugh.
Ross County’s Scott Fox must’ve thought Rangers forward Alfredo Morelos had slid off the edge of the flat Earth after the keeper managed to juke away from Morelos’s tackle deep in Fox’s own penalty area. Unfortunately, the Earth is not flat—or at least the edge of it is not located just off the boundaries of County’s…
Most of the European soccer leagues haven’t even started yet and we already have an early contender for worst miss of the season. Take a bow, Valentin Costache of Dinamo Bucuresti, for this truly is an impressive feat of ineptitude.
Soccer is hard. There are so many other people on the field: teammates, referees, opponents, occasionally the odd dog. One can be forgiven for the occasional lapse. However, this howler from Ottawa Fury FC goalkeeper Callum Irving is a transcendent fuckup.
You know what, rather than ridicule, Aberdeen striker Miles Storey deserves our sympathy. Yes, it’s never good to find a way not to score when you’re literally a foot away from an unguarded net, but the incoming cross was deflected, and it had to feel like shit to hear that sound the crowd made when he missed.
Argentine club Belgrano’s keeper probably should’ve been terrified with four River Plate players bearing down on him with no help in sight, but instead he went all “NAH FUCK THAT” and stood up brave and tall and psyched out the attackers, somehow saving a goal and earning the glory.
Sweden is having an easy time of it against Belarus—the Swedes are up 4-0, at the moment—but Belarusian keeper Andrey Gorbunov isn’t helping things. Here’s Emil Forsberg knocking one in for Sweden’s second goal of the match—also completing a brace for the Leipzig man—right through Gorbunov’s wicket.
In the 67th minute of Monday’s Granada-Las Palmas La Liga match, PSG loanee Jesé stepped onto the pitch for the first time with his new club Las Palmas. That moment was the culmination of Jesé’s life journey so far, one that started in the city of Las Palmas, went through Madrid, took a short detour in Paris, and now…
Sure, the striker in this Greek lower-league match who somehow didn’t score despite having nearly all the time in the world is the easy scapegoat here, but let’s appreciate the defender’s hustle and never-say-die attitude in the face of impossible odds. He is the true star here.
We’ve brought you a whole bunch of terrible misses over the years, and while all of them were affronts to the notion of soccer as an elegant, highly skilled sport, they were also, when looked at with an exceedingly sympathetic eye, at least sort of understandable. The above miss, in some Serbian lower league, is…