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Tim Tebow Waited 16 Minutes And 40 Seconds To Mention Jesus At Today's Press Conference
Tim Tebow's New York Jets debutante ball is over, and while he (reliably) avoided saying much of anything interesting, doing a quick analysis of the press conference transcript (via closed captioning) may provide some clues as to how the quarterback (?) will adapt to the New York media sphere. ...

Bristolmetrics: Dick Vitale Said "Baby" A Mere 14 Times On <em>SportsCenter</em> Last Week
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenterthroughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....

Sean Payton Asks Bill Parcells To Coach The Saints For A Year
ESPN reports that Sean Payton has floated the idea that Bill Parcells could be the Saints' placeholder coach while Payton serves his one-year suspension. Parcells is something of a mentor to Payton, so the two have been talking a lot recently, with Payton needing a big Tuna-y shoulder to cry on. But...

After Signing A $7.8-Million Contract With The Mets, R.A. Dickey Bought A Minivan He Calls "The Millenium Falcon"
"A Star Wars aficionado, R.A. Dickey calls the minivan their Millennium Falcon. His wife calls it 'our big splurge' after he inked his $7.8 million contract with the Mets last winter." He's the best. [The Star-Ledger, image via Getty]...

A Skeptical Press Forces Tim Tebow To Defend His Faith
The jaded New York press wasted little time at today's news conference in challenging Tim Tebow about the unconventional beliefs and practices he may bring to his new football team. But the newest Jets player stood his ground and professed his faith:...

White Basketball Player Compared To White Basketball Player
George Karl, on Kevin Love: "I think we used to call him a poor man's Larry Bird. I think you can take 'poor man' off that comparison now."...


How A Career Ends: I Ditched Basketball For The Decathlon
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today: Rick Wanamaker, a center for the Drake Bulldogs, who in 1969 provided one of college basketball's great "holy shit!" moments when he blocked Lew Alcindor's sh...

Vanilla Ice Will Perform At The Timberwolves Game Friday
This is a special moment for the white people of Minnesota. Vanilla Ice, fresh off his eighth studio album, will perform at halftime of the Wolves/Celtics game this Friday. I don't know his set list, but I'm sure he'll play all your favorite. [NBA.com]...

The Marlins' Home Run Sculpture Is Alive
When I was young, the Mets tricked me into rooting for them solely by that giant fiberglass apple. I couldn't wait for Howard Johnson or Kevin McReynolds to hit a home run, just so I could see the apple rise out of the similarly comically oversized top hat. So maybe, at 28, I'm no longer in the de...

Kimbo Slice Lands A Very Suspicious Knockout
Kimbo Slice, former bouncer, former internet streetfighter, former MMA sensation and washout, is now trying his hand at boxing. And while one doesn't usually start a successful boxing career at 38 years of age, Slice has gone undefeated in three matches by being matched against even more unlikely...

There Were Three Stooges At Yesterday's NASCAR Event, And They Were Not Named Dale, Darryl, Or Darrell
From the moment he slipped the fire suit over his frizzed hair, Larry knew his dreams had finally become reality. He'd aspired to pilot the speed machine from the time he was five years old, playing with Matchbox—...

The NBA.com Boxscore Has The Silliest (And Best) Explanation For Why Tim Duncan Didn't Play Tonight
Tim Duncan wasn't hurt tonight. He merely took a day off from the daunting post-lockout grind to rest his bones, and his Spurs beat the Sixers anyway, 93-76. The ESPN.com boxscore says "DNP-REST." The NBA's, pictured above, wasn't so politically correct. "DND-OLD." Poor, poor, old Tim Duncan. He tur...

Dwyane Wade Hit A 65-Foot Buzzer-Beater
The Heat helped narrow what had been a sizable deficit in their battle with the Thunder in Oklahoma City thanks to this 3/4-court bomb to end the third quarter by Dwyane Wade. Mike Tirico was still only mildly impressed. [ESPN]...

Here's A Briefcase-Wielding Zombie Invading The Set Of The U.K.'s Channel Four News
I don't care to fathom much explanation for this. It's weird, and sometimes weird things are best left up to their own interpretations. (But, seriously, anyone heard anything from the Brits lately?)...

Deadspin Up All Night: Rise And Decline
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Catch you all on the flip side....

Jimmy Roberts Gave Brian Collins A Shout-Out With A "Boom Goes The Dynamite" O-Rena Implosion Voiceover
We've been on top of Brian Collins's career for more than five years now, but it surely must be a highlight of his life for him to hear NBC sportscaster Jimmy Roberts use his catchphrase "Boom Goes The Dynamite" to describe dynamite going boom. [NBC]...
![Tiger Woods Wins First PGA Tour Event Since 2009 [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Tiger Woods Wins First PGA Tour Event Since 2009 [UPDATE]
Tiger Woods began the day at Bay Hill 11-under par with a one stroke lead over Graeme McDowell. He finished the day five strokes ahead of McDowell and won the Arnold Palmer Invitational with a 13-under par performance....

Football Commissioner Suffers Possible Concussion While Participating In Drills
Commissioner of the Lingerie Football League, that is. Sorry to get you all hot and bothered, James Harrison, Brandon Meritweather, New Orleans Saints fans, et al....

Here's The Dancing Baylor Fan Heard ’Round The World
We tweeted him out earlier in GIF form, but this Baylor fan enthusiastic that his team was within 13 (!) of Kentucky deserves the full Deadspin Video treatment—so here you are. [CBS]...