i Page 7913 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jeremy Shockey Breaks Through New Orleans Douche Levee
This is Jeremy Shockey. You might remember Jeremy from the time you drafted him two rounds too high in your fantasy draft because a) He played in New York, and b) You're subconsciously just a bit racist. Jeremy, seen here trying to convince a woman to go home with him so he can give her Hepatitis ...
Alex Rodriguez Is A Fragile Little Dominican Butterfly, Friends Say
It's been pretty easy to destroy Alex Rodriguez about his pending divorce, given all the attention that's been paid toward his alleged frequent affairs with numerous muscular women and, perhaps, Madonna....
Your Very First Deadspin Executions
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, Commenting Guru Rob Iracane will write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....
Is Mary Beth King Being Phased Out Of Monday Morning Quarterback?
Congratulations to Mary Beth King, daughter or Peter King, target of KSK's ire, on her new internship.(This photo is not of King and his daughter — I hope.) Of course, PK writes about this internship in today's Monday Morning Quarterback column and her position may create another moral quandary for ...
America Deploying Secret Pollution-Fighting Masks For Olympic Athletes to Wear
First the Chinese try and ban blacks and Mongolians from the bar, and now America has special masks to ward off the Beijing pollution? This Olympics is going to be great. Thankfully the Wall Street Journal is there to bring us the story of the masks. Or as much as they actually can because the masks...
South Carolina Cockominiums Headed to Auction
Do you see what they've done there? They've combined condominium and cock. Which usually only happens on South Beach. Anyway, the condo craze came to Columbia, South Carolina and condo towers went up around the wasteland that is Williams-Brice Stadium. But it seems the real estate market is not as r...
Use DZNUTS: Your Scrotum Will Thank You
Oh what the hell, let's just call it balls day on Deadspin. Introducing dznuts, developed for competitive cyclists "to reduce and relieve chaffing, irritation, and protect fragile perineal skin from bacterial and fungal infections." It's got masterwort, so you know it's good....
Fear Factor In The Northwoods League
A collegiate summer baseball league team called the Madison Mallards was handing out free tickets on Thursday that included all-you-can-eat snack bar privileges; a pretty sweet deal, considering all you had to do to earn it was to eat a dead beetle. The Mallards offered the tickets to the first 250 ...
Third Circuit Tosses Indecency Fine Against CBS For Jackson's Nipple
In a victory for fans of nipples everywhere, a three judge panel of the Third Circuit found that the FCC "acted abitrarily and capriciously" in imposing their fine against CBS....
Soon Jerry Buss' Invincible Laker Girl Army Shall Be Complete. Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha!
The Los Angeles Times may not have a handle on every story, but by God they had a reporter up at 8 a.m. on Saturday to cover Laker Girls auditions. By his own admission, Adam Rose took "about 350" photos, plus some video, the latter which he hasn't posted yet. Hopefully he was invited and not just h...
Carson Palmer Despises Ohio State, Jim Tressel, and Their Fans
It's a good thing Ohio State fans are so worldly and forgiving. Because otherwise Carson could be in some hot water. Evidently Palmer, a noted USC and Pac-10 homer, went on Los Angeles sports talk radio and brought the thunder....
Morning Blogdome: Baron Davis Appears To Be Taking The Elton Brand Trade Very Hard
• Steve Nash and Baron Davis took the brown acid, apparently: Regardless of the reason for Steve Nash and Baron Davis riding a tandem bike, dressed like idiots, on a sunny day in Santa Monica, it's still odd and unsettling. [Bar Stool Sports]...
Pirates' Pitcher Gets Erotic Massage, But Rockies Get The Happy Ending
One might say that the Pirates tried everything to make rookie Yoslan Herrera feel comfortable on the mound on Saturday in his debut against the Rockies. Some days, nothing works. Of course, this could simply be Bud Selig's random cup check policy we've been hearing about....
When Premier League, MLS Fans Rumble
A friendly? I think not. It was only a matter of time before British soccer hooligans met MLS fans on the field of battle. Columbus, Ohio, represent! There may be paperboys, cheerful mailmen and elderly women tending flower gardens, but they're still the mean streets, yo. But now, let us focus on th...
The Unhinged, Passionate Fury Of One H.G. Bissinger Reveals Itself Again
Plenty of emails fluttered in over the past two days about Buzz Bissinger's guest op-ed column in the New York Times this past weekend (on-line only!) about his surreal visit to the College World Series with his three sons....
ESPY Action, Fights And Irish Whiskey
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....
Time To Deregulate The ESPY Awards
As self-fellating as the ESPY Awards has become lately, they do have entertainment value, and the concept of a sports awards show is a novel idea. Well, novel in the context of awards shows, not novel in the sense of "this beats a cure for cancer!" But why does it always have to be ESPN?...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while actually making plans on weekends from here on out... • 6:00 p.m. — MLB: Boston Red Sox at Los Angeles Angels. Tim Wakefield, it's up to you to prevent your team from getting swept. [whoosh, crack] Really? That's your plan? [ESPN] • 7:30 p.m. — Movie: Ghostbusters. We came, we sa...
Socialism Has Solved Every Traffic Jam In The World
You there. Yes, you. Don't you love freedom, apple pie, and John Mellencamp-crooned commercials? Of course you do. But you also hate traffic. "Oh God, everyone else driving is such an idiot! If they watched where they were going, I wouldn't be running behind, so I better call my friends and tell the...
Dive Only Into Pools Of Which You Know The Depth
If you were wondering where Daric Barton was when Oakland was playing the Yankees this weekend (who of us wasn't?), well he wasn't playing because he got hurt during the All-Star break. The rookie first basemen has a lot to learn about how to dive into swimming pools....