i Page 8166 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL Pants Party: Super Bowl XLII
We're five long months away from the Super Bowl, and a lot can happen each week to change the complexion of the league. Still, it's worth trying to pick your Super Bowl teams now, because if your picks do turn out to be correct, you can be that one fuckface that runs around bragging about how you pr...
...AND WE ARE UNDERWAY!
By the way, this is exactly what the games will look like on my TV, but I don't give a shit. Football is finally back! We'll be in and out, and we'll have updates as we go. Enjoy the games, everyone, and check back when the assgrooves in your respective pieces of furniture need a quick breather....
Your One O'Clock Games...Quickly
Some of you have DirecTV. Most of you don't. In that case, here are some of the sweet games the the NFL has deemed your area unworthy to watch....
College GameDay: An Appreciation
Drew wrote a thoughtful piece about ESPN's traveling band of college football analysts that we probably should have run yesterday. I still think it's semi-pertinent since these guys are the exact opposite of the professional counterparts that we'll be tolerating today, who seem to excel at nothing e...
For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
Last year, MJD provided you with regional coverage maps for the NFL, and we're happy to have located them once again. Click on the links to find the game in your area, plus the assigned announcing team:...
Legislating From The Luxury Box
Before the 1978 season, the NFL's owners passed a shit-ton of rules that were designed to scale back the role of physical contact in the game. Under the new rules packages, wide receivers could not be bumped more than five yards from the line of scrimmage. Offensive lineman were allowed to use your...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while taking your new girlfriend to your mother's birthday party... • CFB: LSU doesn't seem to care that Virginia Tech's football team is trying to overcome a campus tragedy. The Tigers romped as predicted (yeah I lost the Parlay o' the Week but I picked up the spare when I subbed in...
We're Just Getting Started, If By "Started," You Mean "Halfway Done"
It was TheStarterWife who said things were totally different on this side of the wall, and all I can add to that is "ain't that the fucking truth." But we've learned a few things that we'll be sure to apply toward tomorrow's festivities. First of all, we realize that Nibbles really is a delicate fl...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you try and get the poop stains out of your towel:...
With Your Boys, Talkin' S***. But You're Going Home Alone, Aren't'cha?
If there's a theme to Saturday nights, it's saying and doing things you regret on Sunday. Therefore, here follows a round-up of the various mealy-mouthed guarantees and guarded boasting that amounts to this week's "bulletin board material." You said you're confident in your team's chances of victory...
Hugh II: The Nedessey Continues... Part 3
Wow. They're really piling on Michigan today. They're talking about App State every chance they get, not failing to mention that 3 game losing streak, and even breaking out footage of the Kordell Stewart play. Are they going to dig up Bo and Gerald Ford and parade their dead bodies on ABC too just t...
A Quick Thought On Fantasy Football (Take 2)
I am in four fantasy leagues this year. Last year I was in eight. I'm also the proud owner of two keeper leagues, in both of which I am commissioner. When someone asked me why I would willingly serve as such a glutton for punishment, I replied simply, "I would rather be the guy in charge."...
A Quick Thought On Fantasy Football
I am in four fantasy leagues this year. Last year I was in eight. I'm also the proud owner of two keeper leagues, in both of which I am commissioner. When someone asked me why I would willingly serve as such a glutton for punishment, I replied simply, "I would rather be the guy in charge."...
May Pete Rose Live Long And Die Out
Perhaps you've heard of the new book The World Without Us, Alan Weisman's blow-by-blow account of what would happen on Earth if all human beings suddenly disappeared. But if you think this book is just some environmentalist's wet dream, you're wrong. Dead wrong. People, I give you The Voluntary Huma...
Hugh II: The Nedessey Continues... Part 2
Nothing sucks more than getting kicked out of the bellagio after staying up all night to wait for OSU to kick off, passing out because nowhere carries the big ten network in Vegas, then waking up at halftime to see the buckeyes are only up 3-2...and you took the over at 29 points. -CalCarbon...
All the Muck That's Fit to Rake
• Nike's new football commercial is in tents. [Awful Announcing] • Former KSK commenter Clint is unhappy with us once again. Either the entire blogosphere is conspiring against him or people just don't like linking to a guy who is best known for the racist and anti-semitic shit he used to spout in o...
Kill Kill Kill Comes to Deadspin
Of course they had to go and suspend the righteous mallard for next week's home game against Fresno State. Damn, I really would have liked to see the duck in action against Lloyd Carr....
Hugh II: The Nedessey Continues... Part 1
On 2nd and goal w/ 20 seconds to go and one timeout, Marshall's head coach elects to center the ball and kick a FG rather than go for the touchdown. Who knew Pam Ward's vagina was contagious? -Insomniac's Lounge...
We Keep Our Wanka Kits In The Nightstand Drawer
Good news for those of you who haven't been able to track down a replica jersey of the Jacksonville Jerkoffs of the old ABA: the hot new jersey in the U.K. is that of Peruvian soccer club D. Wanka:...
Just Wake Me When It's Over
September, of course, is when baseball approaches my favorite part of the season — the end. I have no genuine qualms with the game or its fans; in fact, I can think of few more enjoyable ways to spend a sunny weekend afternoon than taking in a Greenville Drive game and enjoying moderately-overpriced...