i Page 8380 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sometimes, The Gatorade Bottle Is Just Too Far Away
We're posting this just to be obnoxious, and we will not pretend otherwise: During Nebraska's 34-20 victory over Missouri, Tigers quarterback Chase Daniel discovers a way to replenish proteins burned through on the field of battle....

Welcome To The Moe Howard 500
Our next story comes from Texas, land of lizards and slapstick, where a NASCAR rivalry boiled over into, well, pretty much what you might expect. Following the Dickies 500 at Texas Motor Speedway on Sunday, an "unidentified crewman for Scott Riggs' team" knocked over driver Kevin Harvick, his wife...

Hirshey: Coach Fight!
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....

We Have To Ask
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 3 p.m. NCAA FB with Mark Schlabach: We're worried about him, but we still think it would be great to see JoePa zooming along the sideline on his Rascal scooter. • 3 p.m. WNCAA with Charlie Creme: We love these Title IX mandated chats, ...

Thinking Good Thoughts For JoePa
If you haven't seen the "highlight" yet, here's video of Joe Paterno's broken leg accident on Saturday. We are extremely fond of Paterno — we always find him lovable; we want him to read us a story or something — and hope he has a speedy recovery, or as speedy a recovery that a 79-year-old man can h...

NBA Roundup: Of Knees, And Threes And Jumping On Chairs
Taking a look at Sunday's National Basketball Association games:...

NFL Roundup: Bears Down!
• Hey, so what did happen to the Bears yesterday? We know they had trouble handling the Buzzsaw, but hey, who doesn't? Losing at home to the Dolphins is not the type of thing that's gonna make people feel all that positively about an all-Midwest Super Bowl. Wasn't Rex Grossman good at the beginnin...

Another "Outstanding" Regular Season Manning Triumph
There is a temptation to point out that if Peyton Manning had thrown four interceptions at home on national television against his biggest rival, he would have been vilified by anyone with a keyboard yet again for being a choker; because it was Tom Brady who did it, it was just an "off night" for ...

About Last Night ...
What to watch as you prepare for a little light home improvement work ... • NFL: He's a clutch wideout impacting the game, talking 'bout eight seven, my homey Reggie Wayne. Breaking all the records, the best we've all seen, it's the dynamic duo eighty eight and eighteen ... • NBA: Sonic Nation ... L...

Cut. That. Meat.
Well, the time has finally come. It's almost time for the Colts and Patriots to kick off, and thus, for Peyton Manning to engage in a no-win situation. If he loses, he's still firmly entrenched in the role of Tom Brady's lawnboy. If he wins, it's a meaningless regular season game that won't even be ...

NFL Week Nine, Update #4
• Just a couple minutes ago, Hines Ward caught a Roethlisberger pass inside the 10, and tried to turn it upfield into the endzone. As he dove across the ball line, the ball was knocked out, and Denver snapped it. Story of the game for the Steelers. They made some plays, they did some good things.....

To Watch Tonight...
• NFL: Indianapolis Colts @ New England Patriots. I wonder if Bill Belichick gets a new sweatshirt for every game, or just keeps wearing the same one. 8:15, NBC. • College Football: Southern Mississippi @ Memphis. This may lack the star power of Colts/Patriots. 8:00, ESPN. • College Football: Moreho...

The Vols Aren't Taking It Well
When I saw that three Tennessee football players had been arrested, I just assumed that one of them was Pac Man Jones. It wasn't the Titans, though, it was the Volunteers, who figure if they can't beat some ass on the field, they should beat some ass in the club....

NFL Week Nine, Update #3
• I guess the bookies know what they're doing. The Steelers, despite turning the ball over three times in the first half, are going to head into the break down just four points. It's not that they haven't been trying to get blown out; Santonio Holmes is certainly doing his part. He's fumbled a coupl...

LeftoverDome...
• Sammy Sosa's considering a return to baseball. Buy stock in cork. [USA Today] • Elect John L. Smith. No, not the Michigan State doofus... a completely separate doofus. A distinction he makes clear. [John L. "Jack" Smith] • "As everybody should know by now, I remain firmly committed to the goal of ...

NFL Week Nine, Update #2
• The Bengals just failed to convert a 4th-and-4 with under 2:00 to play that would've kept their chances alive. It was close to being pass interference, but T.J. Houshmandzadeh and the official had differing opinions. No flag came, and Houshmandzadeh reacted like someone just snipped off his ponyta...

Paul Tracy Can't Drive
When you're drunk and blessed with a natural immaturity, there are few things in life that seem like a better idea than taking a golf cart out for a joyride. Champ Car racer Paul Tracy agrees. At least, he did about a week ago, before he his golf cart flipped and landed on his drunk ass, breaking ...

NFL Week Nine, Update #1
• Baltimore keeps doing what Baltimore does. The Bengals fumbled on a kickoff, and Carson Palmer threw an interception that went to the house, and that should be about all they'll need. It's 17-0, and Carson Palmer has been mostly terrible. At the half, it's 17-7, Ravens over the Bengals, because ...

The One Person Who Enjoys Berman's Nickname For Delhomme
There's at least one woman out there who couldn't care less about the Manning/Brady hype. She has eyes only for Jake Delhomme, and those eyes are very, very crazy....

NFL Week 9 Preview: Perhaps You've Heard Of Tom Brady And Peyton Manning
• Colts @ Patriots. All week long, the Brady/Manning hype machine has been working harder than the Vader-esque panel inserted in Al Davis's chest. For two reasons, though, I don't mind. First, it could be much worse... imagine if this game was on ESPN. And secondly, it is Manning vs. Brady, and it i...