ick Page 428 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Are Bill Belichick's Other Horcruxes?
Seeing as how Lord Belichick inadvertently revealed the nature of one of his Horcruxes today, we thought now would be a good time to try and figure out what items house the other six pieces of his sundered soul. These are our guesses, and please feel free to share your own in the comments....
Whatever Happened To The Ripken Kidnapping Case?
At approximately 8:35 p.m. on July 24, 2012, the police in Baltimore County, Md., received a 911 call regarding a suspicious car. A local couple had spotted a silver sedan parked in a pull-off area of some property they owned by the intersection of Ebenezer Road and Pulaski Highway, near White Mar...
One-Seventh Of Bill Belichick's Soul Likely Hidden In Monkey Puppet
During his Media Day session, Bill Belichick received a question that was actually valuable from Patriots linebacker Jerod Mayo's daughter. She asked him what his favorite stuffed animal was, and Belichick hit her with this:...
Tomáš Rosický Is Arsenal's Irreplaceable Security Blanket
It takes more than the couple dozen legs of Arsenal's preferred starting XI to carry the club towards their annual fourth place finish in the Premier League and deep though ultimately unsuccessful (though not always!) runs in the other major tournaments. Rotation, fatigue, and the handful of cruci...
UMaine Fans' Sign Features Opposing Mascot Sucking A Dick
It's hard to make out, but that amorphous blue thing is supposed to be a wildcat, which is the UNH men's hockey team's mascot. Thanks to some lewd UMaine fans who attended last Friday's game between the two schools, that poor wildcat has a big dick in its mouth....
Robert Kraft Doubles Down On Patriots' Innocence, Asks NFL For Apology
Patriots owner Robert Kraft crashed a press conference scheduled for Bill Belichick and Tom Brady in Arizona tonight, telling the assembled media "I want to make it clear that I believe unconditionally that the New England Patriots have done nothing wrong" in response to accusations that they deflat...
Did TV's Go-To Ball Boy Expert On Ballghazi Inflate His Credentials?
Eric Kester may be the only guy who's come out ahead from Ballghazi so far....
The Current 800-Meter World Record Holder Is 62 Today
The IAAF, always conscious of doing the right thing, tweeted greetings to Czech mid-distance runner Jarmila Kratochvilova on the occasion of her 62nd birthday. The photo they used, above, is from 1983, commemorating another remarkable anniversary: Kratochvilova's world record in the 800 meters, 1:5...
NFL Football Manufacturer Also Says Bill Belichick Is Full Of Shit
It's not just Bill Nye the Science Guy who isn't buying Bill Belichick's involved and theoretical explanation for how the Patriots's underinflated footballs might have gotten that way without any nefarious tactics. Representatives from Wilson, the company that makes the NFL's footballs, say that Bel...
NFL: We Won't Sell That Officially-Licensed Photo Of Lynch's Dick Grab
An NFL spokesman says the league has decided a $150 Seahawks NFC Championship collage that featured Marshawn Lynch's "obscene" crotch grab wasn't officially-licensed after all, and has pulled it from the NFL Shop. ...
Why Running Alone Through Snow For 135 Miles Is Harder Than It Sounds
Here's an excerpt from Alicia Hudelson's account of last year's Arrowhead 135, an unsupported endurance challenge through northern Minnesota starting today. It gives a pretty good flavor....
The NFL Sells A Photo Of Marshawn Lynch's "Obscene" Gesture For $150
The NFL fined Marshawn Lynch $20,000 for grabbing his dick and now says they may penalize the team yardage if the Seahawks running back pulls an M.J. during the Super Bowl. But the league's distaste for "hold my dick" stopped once they realized they could make money on Lynch's johnson, as evidenced ...
Reports: Josh Gordon Suspended Again For Testing Positive For Alcohol
ESPN's Adam Schefter is reporting Browns receiver Josh Gordon has failed another drug test and is now facing a year-long ban from the NFL. It's his third reported flunked test, and ProFootballTalk says Gordon tested positive for alcohol....
Even QVC Is Making Jokes About The Patriots' Footballs
Shut it down. All that can be said about Ballghazi has been said....
Bill Nye The Science Guy Says Bill Belichick Is Full Of Shit
Science expert Bill Nye appeared on Good Morning America today to unequivocally call out Bill Belichick as a bullshitter....
ESPN's Chad Ford Has Been Retroactively Editing Draft Boards For Years
This website has been using ESPN NBA analyst Chad Ford as a punching bag for nearly ten years. And we don't feel a bit sorry for it after discovering tonight (upon unearthing by those Reddit rapscallions) that Ford has been retroactively re-ranking his NBA draft boards years after the fact....
ProFootballTalk: Seahawks To Be Penalized Yardage For Lynch Dick Grabs
The NFL will be trying a new tactic to force Marshawn Lynch into line, according to a report from ProFootballTalk. Lynch was fined $20,000 for the above crotch grab in Sunday's NFC Championship Game, and fined $11,500 earlier this season for doing the same. Since fines apparently do not deter behavi...
Bill Belichick: "I've Handled Dozens Of Balls" In Search To Do Science
The NFL's resident Mr. Wizard, Bill Belichick, attempted to explain away Ballghazi by running a post pattern on science this afternoon, going long on Boyle's Law and the intricacies of the New England Patriots' process of touching, rubbing, and caressing balls....
Watch Klay Thompson Score 37 Points In 37 Seconds
Klay Thompson demolished the NBA record for points in a quarter when he put up 37 in the third tonight against Sacramento. Here's all 37 of the Warriors sharpshooter's record-setting points in one 37-second video....
Remembering The Time A Manchester United Player Kung-Fu Kicked A Fan
With all this focus on the unimaginably dumb scandal that has swallowed the brains of the stupids in the sports world, it's good to remember that there was once a time when people were justifiably shocked at behavior during a sporting event. Like the time Manchester United great Eric Cantona jumped ...