ick Page 428 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Stephen Curry Heads To Locker Room With Ankle Injury [UPDATE: He's Back]

Stephen Curry left tonight’s matchup in Oklahoma City early in the second half after twisting his ankle in an attempt to drive to the basket....

Woody Paige: Peyton Manning Is Retiring [UPDATES]

The Denver Post’s Woody Paige, citing two unnamed sources, says Peyton Manning will announce his retirement this coming week....

Televangelist Finally Discovers Direct Link Between Nick Saban And The Devil

We’ve long suspected a link between Crimson Tide head coach Nick Saban and the dark lord Satan—the names are just one letter away, jeez!—but here’s televangelist David Uth pointing out that the link between Alabama and sin is one inscribed in the Holy Bible....

It's 2016 And You Can Still Watch Steve Yzerman Score On Patrick Roy

Ciccarelli. Ysebaert. Lidstrom. Primeau. Cheveldae. Growing up in northwest Ohio and well within the night-time range of Detroit’s WJR-AM, these Detroit Red Wings players were my earliest hockey heroes. The opportunity to see some of them skate again no doubt drives the NHL’s Alumni series, which th...

Report: Brooklyn Nets Tickets Will Be Cheaper Next Season Because Nobody Wants To Pay To See That Garbage

The Brooklyn Nets have realized that fielding a roster of chumps and Brook Lopez doesn’t put butts in seats, so they’re solving half of the problem by making it cheaper to watch their dull team....

How SB Nation Published Their Daniel Holtzclaw Story

Last week, Vox Media’s SB Nation published “Who Is Daniel Holtzclaw?”, a 12,000-word profile of a 29-year-old former Oklahoma City police officer who this winter was tried for raping 13 black women while on duty; convicted on 18 of 36 charges of rape, sexual battery, forcible oral sodomy, and burgla...

Reports: Colin Kaepernick's Agents Request Permission From 49ers To Seek A Trade

The San Francisco 49ers have been quite insistent lately that quarterback Colin Kaepernick, who took them to the Super Bowl in 2013 but lost his job last season amidst anemic play, injuries, and a devolving relationship with the team, is still in their long-term plans. At the NFL Scouting Combine, G...

Knicks Deny That Kurt Rambis Was Horny Online

Everyone had a few chuckles at the expense of Kurt Rambis over the weekend, because the Knicks’ head coach is one of the many men who apparently aren’t aware that Twitter likes and follows are public. Here’s what Rambis recently liked (things are about to get NSFW):...

Boxer Blasted For Pummeling Sparring Partner

Chris Eubank Jr. takes on Nick Blackwell at Wembley next month for Blackwell’s middleweight title, and part of Eubank’s prefight hype cycle has been to release this video of him beating the shit out of, even knocking out, an amateur sparring partner....

Fifth-Division English Team Orchestrates Ornate Free-Kick Routine That Goes Exactly Nowhere

It’s not surprising that, deep down in England’s fifth division and without a David Beckham-like free kick specialist to whip one into the top corner, a team like Cheltenham Town would resort to trickeration to fool the goalkeeper on this set play. It’s just as unsurprising, then, what ultimately ca...

Would-Be Nevada Game-Winner Thwarted By UNLV's Buzzer-Beating Three

Tonight’s MWC rivalry matchup between Nevada and UNLV went to overtime after a wild final five seconds of regulation that saw both teams hitting desperation three-pointers....

Volkswagen-Sponsored Wolfsburg Fine Nicklas Bendtner For Posting A Photo Of Himself With A Benz

Nicklas Bendtner has always been, let’s say, a vibrant character. A few years ago, he whipped his dick out and tried to hump a taxi, UEFA fined for wearing the wrong underwear, and he’s been arrested for trying to kick down a door in his own apartment building because he wanted to go swimming. Bendt...

Thomas Müller Scored Himself A Clean Little Half-Bicycle Kick Goal

Thomas Müller has, apparently, been reading the pamphlets and watching the tapes. The move in 2016, it seems, is knocking the ball down to yourself and spinning about while scoring. Christine Sinclair did it. Dele Alli did it. And it wasn’t as pretty as the Canadian or the Englishman, but Thomas Mül...

Nick Punto has officially announced his retirement. This is boring news, yet it’s much more interesting a transaction than anything happening in the NBA today....

SB Nation Publishes, Deletes "Complete Failure" Of A Story About Convicted Rapist Cop Daniel Holtzclaw

This afternoon, SB Nation’s Longform vertical published 12,000 words on Daniel Holtzclaw, the former Oklahoma City police officer who was convicted of abusing his position of power to rape multiple women over a seven month period. It was, in many ways, a disaster of a story, and after a wide outcry ...

Yankees Will No Longer Accept Print-At-Home Tickets, Thus Screwing Their Fans

Here’s some bullshit that the Yankees just added to their ticketing policies:...

Bernie Sanders Used A Lot Of Elbows In His Pickup Basketball Games

Democratic presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders showed off his basketball skills as he awaited the New Hampshire primary results last week, and it became clear that he had a devastating set shot. The Guardian’s Les Carpenter dug into Sanders’s hoops history and found that the politician had been part...

Malaysian Wizard Smashes In Magic-Guided Free Kick Goal

There’s only one rational explanation for the insane swerve and dip Penang’s Mohd Faiz Subri puts on this ball that allows it to fly every which way, completely bamboozling the keeper, before hitting the side of the net from a distance and angle where it should be nigh-impossible to score from: magi...

How Tennessee’s Sexual Harassment Allegations Caught Up With Peyton Manning 20 Years Later

In 1996, the summer before Peyton Manning’s junior season at the University of Tennessee, with his Vols a national championship contender, associate trainer Jamie Whited—later Jamie Naughright, after her divorce—filed an employment discrimination complaint. In that complaint, filed with the Tennesse...

Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>PAW Patrol</i>

It’s time once again for our ongoing series surveying the awful shows you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours....