ick Page 455 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We're All Doomed, But Burger King's Chicken Fries Are Back!
Shit week, huh? But chin up! The weekend's almost here, the cops haven't gotten around to killing every single last one of us yet, and Burger King has brought back Chicken Fries....
![I Spent All Day Trying To Figure Out If This Is Don Zimmer's Dick [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ehld1aode0he3r6afxtu.jpg)
I Spent All Day Trying To Figure Out If This Is Don Zimmer's Dick [NSFW]
Reader David passed along some old photos from the 1955 Brooklyn Dodgers' locker room. In his email, he claimed that Don Zimmer's dick was fully visible. We decided to dig deeper into this Dodgers dick. Our findings: It's almost certainly not Zimmer's, though the mystery wang does belong to a base...
Let It Be Demolished: Paul McCartney Shuts Down Candlestick Park
Paul McCartney is like the Grand Canyon, or bangers and mash: There's no sexing him up. At 72, he's the rare individual for whom the phrase "living legend" feels like kind of a slight. Bigger than Jesus? Quite possibly. But how many records did Jesus ever sell, and what has he done for you lately? T...
Borussia Dortmund Player Scores Goal, Dons Spider-Man Mask
Borussia Dortmund beat Bayern Munich 2-0 in the DFL Supercup today, thanks in large part to a spectacular header from Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang in the 61st minute. After he scored, Aubameyang yanked a Spider-Man mask out of his sock and put it on his head because, sure, why the hell not?...
Orlando Scandrick Got Boned By The NFL's Stupid Drug Testing Policy
Dallas Cowboys cornerback Orlando Scandrick has been suspended for the first four games of the season after testing positive for PEDs. This is dumb, because while Scandrick did have drugs in his system when he was tested, if his version of events is true, there's no way that the drugs he took should...
Chip Kelly And The Timeless Art Of Seduction
Don't do it, man. Just keep yourself under control. Keep your hands busy. Good. Yes, the zipper. Fidget with the zipper up at your neck. You know that helps. No, no, don't stop, you were doing so well. What are you doing? No...oh God, why would you do that?...
The Wisconsin State Fair Has One Food-On-A-Stick Too Many
So here's the full list of truncheon-mounted foodstuffs at the Wisconsin State Fair, currently underway in, uh, well, Wisconsin, of course. Actually, no, here's not the full list, because the full list apparently has more entries on it than there are human beings to consume them. Wisconsonianitia...
Albert Pujols Teaches Yasiel Puig A Lesson About Paying Attention
We saw good Puig and bad Puig last night, as the Dodgers outfielder showed off his cannon arm, then two innings later got shown up by Albert Pujols for not paying attention. Smiles all around, and a valuable lesson learned about keeping your head in the game? This was an excellent baseball sequenc...
Pirates Still Stewing Over Controversial Walk-Off Loss
The Diamondbacks won last night on a walk-off fielder's choice in the 10th, as Nick Ahmed successfully broke up the Pirates' potential double-play by getting hit in the arm by Jayson Nix's throw to first. Pretty perfect positioning with that arm, actually. Maybe a little too perfect....
Mets Fans Are Back With More Sick Burns On Hunter Pence
Did you think you were safe because the weekend was over, Hunter Pence? Sick burns take NO DAYS OFF. ...
Alabama Fans Sprint For Nick Saban's Autograph
There are few traditions quite like the Running of the Bama Fans, as fans run across the length of Bryant-Denny Stadium to line up for Nick Saban's autograph. AL.com has a pretty great gallery, from staff photographer Vasha Hunt. Here's the video:...
Mark Cuban Suggests An NBA World Cup
Dallas Mavericks owner and naked billionaire Mark Cuban has long been against the NBA's partnership with FIBA and the International Olympic committee, and Paul George's injury in Friday night's Team USA scrimmage gave him another opportunity to rip the current system of international play....
Here's How To Sneak Into Candlestick Park
That guy in the picture above is a reader who just emailed to tell us all about how he snuck into Candlestick Park yesterday, where he hung out on the field for about a half hour without anybody noticing or caring. The key to sneaking in appears to be wearing a suit and telling security you are ther...
MLS Player Gets His Dick Grabbed, Gets A Yellow Card For Flopping
It's really hard to say who comes off worse here. On the one hand, we've got New York Red Bulls defender Jamison Olave clearly grabbing a handful of Real Salt Lake forward Olmes Garcia's dick and balls. On the other hand, we've got Garcia shamelessly diving and trying to sell the idea that Olave lit...
Colin Kaepernick And Russell Wilson Get The Most Out Of Completions
Passing in the NFL comes in any number of flavors, but the general trend has been an emphasis more efficiency, higher completion percentage, and overall, shorter passes. Peyton Manning and Tom Brady and all those guys. But Colin Kaepernick and Russell Wilson don't have time for all that. ...
Patrick Peterson And Richard Sherman Keep Their Beef Alive
Arizona Cardinals cornerback Patrick Peterson just signed a $70 million contract extension, meaning he's now making about the same amount of money as Seahawks corner Richard Sherman, with whom Peterson has had an ongoing Twitter feud. Naturally, Peterson celebrated his extension with a shot at Sherm...
Texas Longhorns Kicker Has The Best Roster Headshot
Texas Longhorns placekicker Nick Rose looks like he got lost on the way to Warped Tour. Where's the rest of Family Force 5?...