I Spent All Day Trying To Figure Out If This Is Don Zimmer's Dick [NSFW]

Reader David passed along some old photos from the 1955 Brooklyn Dodgers' locker room. In his email, he claimed that Don Zimmer's dick was fully visible. We decided to dig deeper into this Dodgers dick. Our findings: It's almost certainly not Zimmer's, though the mystery wang does belong to a baseball player.

First, the uncensored photo, purportedly from the LIFE magazine archives. A bunch of players hanging around and cracking jokes when BOOM—your eyes find the surprisingly well-groomed junk in the background:

There are a few other photos in David's link, but this one is the most important to our case:

Check out the numbers above the lockers. Zimmer wore No. 23 for the Dodgers. That appears to be him sitting down in front of his locker. Look at the second photo; he's obscured by Pee Wee Reese, No. 1, but Don Hoak, No. 43, is still to the left. So, Zimmer is accounted for, and clothed. We still need to find the dick's owner.

The two lockers to the right of Zimmer are for No. 8 and No. 12: George Shuba and Frank Kellert, respectively. The guy at the end does look like Kellert, which means Shuba's most likely the naked one changing in front of his locker, and the owner of the dick in the first photo. Assuming this is Shuba's dong, this is some damn historic dong. Let's learn a bit about him.

Shuba, a utility outfielder, played eight seasons with the Dodgers, and held the nickname "Shotgun" for his powerful line drives. He was most famous for an iconic photo in 1946 involving Jackie Robinson. Shuba, then on the Montreal Royals, was playing a game against Robinson's Jersey City Giants. Shuba and Robinson were teammates on the Montreal Royals. After Robinson circled the bases for a home run, Shuba shook his hand at home plate in a photo heralded as the first interracial handshake in a pro baseball game. The moment was a powerful milestone in the timeline of integration in baseball.

But yeah, anyway, that's probably his dick.

Photos via Tumblr

Previously in baseball junk: I Spent All Day Trying To Figure Out If These Are Lou Gehrig's Balls | Is This Babe Ruth's Swinging Dick?