ick Page 505 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jon Gruden Is Gonna Get Two Hotel Rooms For All His Bitches, Bill Belichick's Dick Is Hard, And Other Things We Learned From Warren Sapp's New Book

You may know Warren Sapp from his 13 years as an All-Pro NFL defensive tackle, or perhaps from his recent legal foray, the YouTube series "Judge Sapp." Or maybe you watch him on the NFL Network or follow his busy Twitter feed. Well, if you didn't have enough platforms to access Warren Sapp, now you ...

Help Someone Give Away Her Cubs Tickets To A Family Who Could Use Them

Journalist Susannah Breslin writes to Deadspin:...

Minnesota State Head Football Coach Todd Hoffner Reportedly Booked For "Using Minors In A Sexual Performance"

The possible charges for Minnesota State head football coach Todd Hoffner continue to grow as the Mankato Free Press is now reporting he's been booked on requested charges of using minors in a sexual performance....

Minnesota State Head Football Coach Busted On Child Porn Charges

Minnesota State head football coach Todd Hoffner faces child pornography charges after being booked by Eagle Lake cops at his home today. The Division II Mavericks' coach has been on administrative leave since Friday after university officials escorted him off the practice field....

What's ESPN Hiding Under Its Desk?

Yes, that's just a screen grab of Scott Van Pelt, Todd Blackledge, and Kirk Herbstreit on the air last night breaking down something or other about the upcoming college football season. But shift your gaze downward, toward the display ads on the front of the table at which they're sitting. The World...

Little Leaguer: ESPN Changed My Player Bio To List My Favorite Show As <em>SportsCenter</em> Instead Of <em>The Dan Patrick Show</em> [UPDATE: It Was A Gag]

Will Lucas from Fairfield, Conn., threw a no-hitter in the Little League World Series yesterday and was invited on the The Dan Patrick Show today to talk about it....

Michael Vick Injured Again, Knocked Out Of Preseason Game [UPDATE]

A week after being injured in the Eagles' first preseason game, Michael Vick once again made an early exit after suffering a massive hit from New England defensive end Jermaine Cunningham in the first quarter of tonight's game in Foxborough....

Rick Sutcliffe Wants Melky Cabrera Deported

And here we thought the dumbest thing to happen since Melky tested positive for taking testosterone was that Melky and his crew had cooked up a fake website to try to prove his innocence. Pshaw. Melky has not been charged with a crime, but that's of no concern to ESPN baseball analyst/sheriff Rick...

So Much For The Jeremy Lin Effect: MSG Stock At All-Time High

Shares of $MSG closed the day at 39.39, for a market cap of $2.98 billion. That's an all-time high for the stock, squeaking past the previous high at the beginning of NBA free agency, and blowing past the numbers at the height of Linsanity. This means nothing, but so does everything that came before...

Somebody Threw A Shoe At Danica Patrick's Car And Knocked Her Out Of A Race She Was Leading

"Something's fucked up" is all Danica Patrick could muster after leading much of today's NASCAR Nationwide tour race at Montreal then being knocked out by a mechanical issue after running over a shoe thrown onto the track by a spectator....

If you read about only one sex scandal involving a Pakistani cricket ump and a younger Indian model, make it this one....

Rafael Nadal Pulls Out Of U.S. Open With An Injury, So Let's Cue The "Style Of Play" Talk

Rafael Nadal announced this morning that he's pulling out of the U.S. Open, which begins in less than two weeks. What for? An "injury." No one knows what. When Nadal pulled out of the Olympics—he hasn't played a match since he was bounced in the second round of Wimbledon—it was a little unclear what...

The Sabanization Of College Football Is A Total Bummer

Yesterday we lauded San Diego State's Rocky Long for potentially eschewing the kick (field goals or punts) in fourth-down situations, a strategic move that's become something of a totem in the advanced football stats discussion. Today, kind of the opposite: it seems college coaches are lining up to ...

Who Wants To Work For Knicks Owner James Dolan? Anyone, Anyone?

Here is a job listing for "Executive & Personal Assistant to President & CEO" at Cablevision. James Dolan, owner of the Knicks and Rangers, is also the President and CEO of Cablevision. It looks like Jimmy is in the market for a new secretary and wants to bring in some new blood—hiring from outside...

The Red Sox Are Losing Because John Lackey Likes To Double-Fist Beers, Writes Moron

The Red Sox lost a baseball game last night, dropping their record to three games below .500, and you know what that means, don't you? It's time for some dumb columnist to turn into Carrie Nation and throw some shit at the wall. CSN New England's Joe Haggerty did just that when he published this ar...

Grand Quarterback Pronouncements Based On A Few Preseason Drives

There were six less-than-meaningless games across the NFL last night, twelve chances for fans and media to judge and project their quarterbacks over an entire season based solely on a quarter of half-speed action. That's the entire point of preseason football—unrealistic expectations take wing....

Michael Vick Just Did The One Thing You Never, Ever Want To Do In A Preseason Game (UPDATE)

Don't get injured. For any NFL player reasonably assured of a starting job, the last thing anyone ever wants to do in the preseason is get injured. That's why Eagles fans, in lieu of any more reliable information at the moment, are collectively holding their breaths after seeing Michael Vick slam ...

"I Would Like To Extend You A Counter-Offer To Suck My Dick": A Rejected Jobseeker Sends The Padres The Best Letter Ever

Taylor Grey Meyer estimates that she applied for a job with the San Diego Padres at least 30 times since moving to Coronado, Calif. Initially, in the sales office; but as she was alternately rejected and ignored, she lowered her sights. This past March, she applied for a minimum-wage job selling tic...

Hop On Back Of The Bobby Petrino Apology Tour, Which Begins Today

It's been just under four months since Arkansas fired Bobby Petrino for hiring his young girlfriend to an athletics department position, paying her extra under the table, and lying about it. Four months is barely enough time to break in a new hairstyle, but, naturally, Petrino has found the time to ...

Five-Year-Old Knicks Fan Devastated By Jeremy Lin's Departure Gets To Video-Chat With Jeremy Lin

I'm not going to say there's any one moment of this video that's particularly noteworthy, but catch any clip of this nine-minute segment* and you can't help but wonder why the shitbag Knicks management would let a guy like Lin move to another team under any circumstance. Sure, his time in New York...