Every Headline About Derrick Rose Is A Black Pit Of Sadness

Here’s a bunch of headlines—written during the past week—about Derrick Rose’s attempts to return to the basketball court that will make you really sad:

Derrick Rose is Dunking Again

Bulls guard Derrick Rose back to dunking, shooting jumpers

Derrick Rose taking some contact

Derrick Rose injury: Bulls PG taking ‘predictable contact’ in practice

Derrick Rose return: Derrick Rose reportedly ‘almost ready to start playing’

Derrick Rose travels with Bulls

Thibodeau: Derrick Rose ‘moving along’

Bulls’ Derrick Rose getting closer to full practice

Bulls’ Rose may start watching games from bench

Derrick Rose: ‘Man, I’m So Ready’

Derrick Rose is dunking again, taking some contact in practice

D. Rose Making Progress in Rehab, But Can He Dunk?

Happy Friday.