ick Page 548 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Semin Leads The Capitals To Sweet, Sweaty Extended-Time Victory
Your morning roundup for April 14, the day San Dimas High School football no longer rules in the eyes of the Chinese government....

One Reason Sir Charles Doesn't Like Reporters Is Because They're Idiots
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Chuck wants a vacation in Chicago, so Chuck wants the Bulls to win....

In Mr. Jackson's First-Grade Class, Steve Blake Gets Chicken Pox; Kobe, Bynum, and Artest At Risk
Your Los Angeles Lakers are not invincible. Bynum's hurt his knee again, and now, in infectious disease news, Steve Blake has the chicken pox....

Dueling Mullets Welcome You To Day One Of The NHL Playoffs
Your morning roundup for April 13, the day Justin Bieber reminded us that the Middle East is still fucked up....

Stat and Swizz Team Up To Ruin "Go New York, Go New York, Go"
I mean, yeah, this is better than last year's uninspired Q-Tip offering, but is nothing sacred anymore?...

Soccer Rec League Captain Works Harder Than You And Has The Sweaty Email To Prove It
I've noticed most of these rec league emailers possess a trait and that, due to some tic beyond their control, they need to verbalize their small victories in order to make sure people are paying attention. Because at their stations in life, the only worthwhile accolade can come from a teammate sma...

No Strikes, but One Out as Labor Unrest Hovers Over Video Games
For a brief moment Tuesday, I wasn't sure we'd be seeing any basketball video game this year, even though I'd taken for granted that NBA 2K12 would release, a death-and-taxes sure thing in October for more than 10 years.… [Kotaku] ...

Even The Top Seed In The Playoffs Isn't Good Enough For This Expressive Bulls Fan
Your morning roundup for April 9, the day it became painfully evident that knowledge gleaned from the Old Testament and YouTube videos do not a professional at-home circumcisionist make....

"Got Rings?" T-Shirt Reminds Knicks Fans That Their Team Has Been Bad For Almost 40 Years
Yes, the Knicks have rings, this T-shirt declares. Two of them. From 1970 and 1973. And yes, the NBA store is charging its fans $20 to be reminded of the fact that they've hardly come close since. Available for purchase in orange or blue, shipping and shame not included. Via Bob's Blitz....

Derrick Rose Floats One Off The Glass, And The Bulls Take The East
Last night, the Chicago Bulls defeated the Celtics by 16 points, 97-81. In doing so, they effectively clinched the top seed in the Eastern Conference for the first time since the 1997-98 season — Chicago would have to lose the remainder of its games and the HeatCeltics would have to win the rest o...

There Were No Fans Or Cars In Attendance At This Incredible High School Dunk Contest
These are the highlights to the first-ever Ballislife All American Dunk Contest, which by our first appraisal seems more impressive than both the McDonald's contest and the one that featured Kias and choruses a few months ago. A few names here you can expect to see in next year's college rounds: A...

Nick Swisher Broke Twins Second Baseman Tsuyoshi Nishioka's Fibula, Patted His Back And Trotted Away
During today's matinee game, Nick Swisher's take-out slide fractured Twins second baseman Tsuyoshi Nishioka's left fibula just below the knee. Afterward, Nishioka, Twins manager Ron Gardenhire and teammates said they felt Swisher made a clean slide sans intent to injure....

Mark Cuban Will Pay College Journalists Something To Do Something With Data About Something Having To Do With Sports
Mark Cuban does not much appreciate this blog, I have learned. Or didn't, once upon a time. In fact, Cuban does not much appreciate sports journalists in general. He's been in the sports biz for 12 years and thinks the "the dumbest guys in the room are always the media guys." Cuban, of course, think...

Intense Man Sends Email Apology To Rec Softball Team, Girlfriend For Being Too Intense
Although it isn't kickball and isn't bitchy in the least bit, this next overwrought email is a beauty. This one hails from the Rocky Mountains, where one 35-year-old man part-time subbed in for his his girlfriend's intramural softball team. He always took the games more seriously than most but after...

This Swedish Kid Sets The Standard For The Back-Flip Penalty Kick
In a game between FC Baar and FC Sempach, two youth clubs in Sweden, Baar's Joonas Jokinen debuted the back-flip penalty kick. We're quite certain this has never been done in a game before. A few places have referred to this as a "somersault" kick; we'll give young Joonas the credit he deserves....

Another Bitchy Email Over Rec League Kickball Surfaces
This time a lady kickballstress from a Florida league is the one who unloads on her lazy teammates. She doesn't need stats to call out the bumbling stooges on her squad because she can see who's playing "vigilant" defense out there with her own eyes and she'll let them hear it if they're not playing...

LeBron James Gets Stake In Liverpool, Joins Unofficial Club For The Filthy Rich
LeBron James is smiling because even after an embarrassing hour-long ESPN special this summer that maligned him to the majority of humans not residing in South Beach, and even after his hometown fans burned his Cleveland jerseys and turned his name into a curse word, and even after his new team face...
![Karen Sypher's Lawyers May Need A Refresher Course On Law's Finer Points [CORRECTION]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j51fw71y5fojpg.jpg)
Karen Sypher's Lawyers May Need A Refresher Course On Law's Finer Points [CORRECTION]
Last we heard of Rick Pitino extortionist Karen Sypher's legal counsel, she was performing oral sex on him in his office. But that lawyer testified against her in her trial, so things weren't working out so well there....

Chicago's Marty Turco Uses Bench Time To Place Bets With Fans, Write "Turco Rules!" On $5 Bills
Marty Turco signed a one-year contract with Chicago last summer and expected to start in net for the Blackhawks. But for much of the season, he's served as Corey Crawford's back-up and has gotten well-acquainted with the pine. He hasn't started a game since Feb. 11. So Turco's now looking for new so...

Derrick Mason Says Roger Goodell Is A Joke For HGH Stance
This is not going to make America's $1 Commissioner very happy: Derrick Mason, Ravens wide receiver and an NFL vet so tenured that he debuted with the Tennessee Oilers, thinks Roger Goodell is a joke....