ick Page 574 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Because Of Tori Amos, Mick Foley Didn't Fear For His Balls In Barbed-Wire Cage Matches
"Finding solitude in a far corner of the frigid backstage area," recalls the semi-retired hardcore wrestler, right here in Slate.com, "I saw a cloud of my own breath as I pressed the play button. 'Snow can wait, I forgot my mittens. ...'"...

Shaun Smith Can't Stop Grabbing Guys' Packages
A week after the Chiefs DE was accused of, erm, manhandling Cleveland's (The Secret World Of) Alex Mack, San Fran's Anthony Davis comes forward to show on the doll where Smith touched him. "He tried to feel me. That's weird, right?" Right....

Albert Haynesworth: I'm Not "A Slave Or Whatever" to Redskins
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Let's Not Start Sucking Each Other's Vicks Quite Yet
You might be aware, our esteemed editor is an Eagles fan. You might be aware, he thinks Michael Vick is the best football player in the universe ever. Hold on there, bucko....

Mike Vick Will Keep Being Best Quarterback In Universe Ever On Sunday, Usually Illogical Coach Declares
Somebody grab a tin bucket and a bag of sawdust because I'm about to puke excitement all over this page. Andy Reid, more stubborn than the most stubborn hanging toenail on the stubbornest toe, has apparently had his head surgically removed from his big red ass and is starting...MIKE VICK THIS SUNDAY...

God Gave Mark Dantonio A Heart Attack For Beating Notre Dame, Says Soon-To-Be-Suspended Radio Guy
We said it's time to let the MSU/ND game go. Matt Patrick, of a South Bend talk radio station, should probably have read us before he insinuated that God struck Dantonio down for cheating against the Catholics....

Notes On "Campdick": A Former NFLer On Ines Sainz And Locker-Room Sexual Tension
A babe reporter walks into a locker room. Catcalls ensue; jock straps fly; penises shrivel. She doesn't understand the words, but she understands the sexual tension. It's palpable when an attractive woman appears. Palpable. Players call it campdick....

Embracing The Dog Killer: Michael Vick Is The Best Football Player In The Universe Ever
Last August I interrupted a weeknight of carousing to go home and write about my hometown Eagles' signing of Michael Vick because I was just so dumbfounded by the move. My headline was "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST." It's more apt now....

Man U Hat Trick Includes Rarely Successful Near-Bicycle-Kick
Guess this serves as a DUAN Pt. II, but when you see video of a bicycle-kick goal (like this one, in today's Man U/Liverpool match) you post video of a bicycle-kick goal. Them's the rules....

Guy Without Arms or Legs Swims the English Channel
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Ricky Hatton Says Retirement Depression Drove Him to Cocaine
Hey, remember last week when the News of the World went all public with video of Ricky Hatton ripping lines?...

Joe Torre Quits on the Dodgers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Naked Photo Of Someone Who's Probably Not Nick Saban's Daughter Is About To Go Viral
It started off with an email from a man named David: "Any interest in Nick Saban's daughter, who is a sophomore at Alabama, topless?" And then some other dude sent us the pic rapidly circulating around SEC cell phones. (NSFW)...

Your Comments Will Now Be Judged Differently
Yes. I know. Who's excited about a change in the commenting system? YAY. But, this time, I think you'll find these new additions helpful in your quest to become a commenting superstar. Pickle?...

Here's a Picture of Bill Belichick Picking His Nose
(H/T Patriots haters far-and-wide including Noah Devine)...

In Ricky Hatton News ...
Former boxing world champion Ricky Hatton has been filmed apparently taking cocaine in a ten-hour drink and drugs binge....

For Your Viewing Pleasure: The Worst Mizzou Volleyball Team Rap Ever
The Missouri women's volleyball team's official "Spirit Group," VolleyZou, found an enterprising group of young men with Missouri apparel, a gold cart, a video camera, and lots of gumption and commissioned them to make this, whatever this is....

Rick Reilly®, Twit
Not to nitpick or anything, but 13 of the "tweets" in Rick Reilly®'s awful "Things I'd Tweet If I Didn't Hate Tweeting" are longer than 140 characters....

Crocs! Facial Scars! Your NFL Kickoff Open Thread
The Saints begin their defense of the Super Bowl title tonight against the Vikings. Will someone break Brett Favre's rickety old hip? Can the Saints put 50 up before the half? Will Brad Childress look overwhelmed?! Comment as you watch....

Dick Enberg Dabbling In Theater? Oh, My!
Coming soon to the Ruth N. Halls Theatre in Bloomington, Ind.: Coach, written by Dick Enberg. Tickets are available. [Ticketmaster, via]...