Mike Vick Will Keep Being Best Quarterback In Universe Ever On Sunday, Usually Illogical Coach Declares

Somebody grab a tin bucket and a bag of sawdust because I'm about to puke excitement all over this page. Andy Reid, more stubborn than the most stubborn hanging toenail on the stubbornest toe, has apparently had his head surgically removed from his big red ass and is starting... MIKE VICK THIS SUNDAY.

Prediction for Vick's stats against the Jaguars: 450 yards passing, 325 yards rushing, 7 touchdowns. Book it. (This is why I am no longer a contributor to RotoWorld. )

Andy Reid will explain the reasoning behind his decision at some sort of press conference, but sources close to ESPN's yapping pinkie ring, Sal Paolantonio, said that "it was just a football decision — Vick's playing too well."

Translation: Marty Mornhinweg smashed Kevin Kolb over the head with a brick before today's walk-through at the NovaCare Complex. I will high-five your dick for that, Marty. THANK You. ****

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. We'll follow the news tomorrow, but spend most of the time just enjoying the Fire Joe Morgan show along with you.

Who's excited? GETEXCITED.