ick Page 621 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Pretending Not To Watch "Cathouse" In Slow Motion ... · Giants' Randy Winn hits for cycle. Giants wake up in fourth inning, see that Bonds is still hurt, go back to sleep. · Michael Finley released by Dallas. "Mr. Finley, a 'Shack' is on the phone again. Yes, I'll take another ...
Leftovers: Hey, Where's My Wallet?
· Tiger flat, Mickelson all that. [Bloomberg] · Oh, no you di'n't ... McNabb blasts T.O. [Philly.com] · I suppose you're all wondering why I called you here today. Someone in this room ... is a thief!: UConn guard arrested. [SI.com] · U.S. finally passes Ethiopia in World Track medal count: Gatlin l...
Rick Reilly: The New Henny Youngman
We know he wins Sportswriter of the Year all the time. We know he has some clever ideas from time to time, including that great "I'm in the car behind Lance Armstrong" thing from a couple of weeks ago. But when Sports Illustrated back-pager Rick Reilly mails it in, he's like worst Borscht belt co...
About Last Night ...
What you missed when the Space Shuttle landed in your pool ... · Yankees' Rivera, who absolutely is not taking steroids and you can bet on that, gets 30th straight save. · Apparently Dolphins' Ricky Williams (5 carries, 8 yards) wasn't ready for some football. · A.J. Foyt OK after attack by swarm of...
Apparently, Stephen A. Smith Is Black
We usually try here to avoid the rantings of fundamentalist Christian stick-in-mud New York Post media columnist Phil Mushnick. He seems to be living in a world that's different than ours, one where all television executives are apparently closet kiddie porn enthusiasts. But we couldn't help but n...
Mickelson's Wife Openly Mocks Him (Again)
We've always kind of assumed golfer Phil Mickelson's wife is always laughing at him. Her attractiveness level vastly exceeds his — like, vastly — he's more famous for losing at golf than for winning and, all told, he's kind of doof (and a notoriously bad gambler — but we won't get into that here)....
There Is No Slumming For Rickey!
From the always amazing (and always anonymous) satirical site Yard Work, a diary entry from Rickey Henderson's tour with the San Diego Surf Dawgs....
Sports Illustrated Knows Not Of This Herpes!
We picked up our copy of Sports Illustrated yesterday and were most pleased to see Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick on the cover. Finally! Vick ends his silence on the whole giving women herpes fiasco and shed some light on that whole Ron Mexico business. Why else would he be on the cover?...
Ron Mexico Lives!
The upcoming videogame "Blitz: The League" — a role-playing football game that takes you on and off the field, from the writers of ESPN's allegedly controversial "Playmakers" — has made headlines for signing up Giants Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor and showcasing rampant drug use and violence in t...
Ricky Williams Slinks Back Into Town
We still can't quite believe running stoner Ricky Williams is really going to play this year. This guy quit football to smoke pot — and hey, we're not gonna mock him for that; the only difference between him and a lot of our friends is that he actually had a job to quit — and left all his teammate...
F1 CEO Proves To Best Cro-Magnon Boss In The Business
Until about a week ago, you'd probably never heard of Bernie Ecclestone. This is because you're probably an American, and you don't pay any attention to Formula One Racing, the organization Ecclestone is the president and CEO of. A friend of ours who knows Formula One much better than we do says E...
Bidding For Danica
We find it encouraging that a female athlete could be a part of a bidding war — and Playboy isn't involved at all. Word has started to rumble (can word "rumble?") that Nascar could make a play for young Danica. She'd certainly have to sing at Wrigley "Stadium" better than Jeff Gordon did....
Fat Drivers Whine
Last week, before the Indianapolis 500, Nascar dolt Robby Gordon said it was unfair that Danica Patrick was so light, saying she had a natural advantage for speed, being so spindly. We found this amusing, because once we find the one advantage women have over men in the world of sports, some idiot...
For Background Purposes, Honest
Just in case you thought Danica Patrick was a brand new phenomenon, FHM proudly proclaims that it had pictures of her months ago. So we link them to you, for research purposes. We missed the Rusty Wallace spread; our subscription to Beer Gut just ran out....
Danica Mania: The Aftermath
Like a lot of people, we were on the couch Sunday, cheering on Danica Patrick — and, perhaps even more so, David Letterman — at the Indianapolis 500. A friend of ours was asking us the other day, perplexed, whether or not we found Danica Patrick physically attractive; we said that he was wrong to ...
Rickey Does What Rickey Does, Baby
Surprising no one, Rickey Henderson rocked in his San Diego Surf Dawgs debut last night. We honestly would lose our collective minds if Rickey made it back to the bigs; we think we would just follow him around, like Phish or the Grateful Dead or REO Speedwagon....
Rickey Henderson: The Last Refuge Of The Tortured Cubs Fan
Things are getting so bad on the North Side of Chicago that Cubs bloggers are pleading for them to sign Big Bad Rickey....
The Ron Mexico Name Generator
Our friends at Gorilla Mask have come up with a lovely device: The Ron Mexico Name Generator. It's easy: Just type your name in, select your gender and whammo, you can go incognito just like our man Vick. (Strangely, there's no form for "sexual history.")...
David Letterman: Nascar Dad
Like any right-minded American male between the ages of 24 and 54, we grew up loving David Letterman. And native Indianaian Letterman grew up loving the Indianapolis 500, culminating in his co-ownership of the Bobby Rahul Racing Team, which employs hot commodity Danica Patrick in this weekend's r...
Ricky Williams 15 Pounds Lighter, And It Ain't The Hair
In the wake of the news that Ricky Williams is eager to rejoin the Miami Dolphins, Florida Today's Carl Kotala gives five reasons why Ricky should return and, to be all schizo on us, five reasons why he shouldn't. Being a sportswriter, he throws a couple lame Whizzinator and Lenny Kravitz jokes i...